Space Travel Copyright, Adam Poszar, 1990. "Crap!" Captain James yelled, ripping off his headset and violently throwing it behind him toward the roof of the ship's cabin. "Darned static, almost broke an ear drum!" His copilot, Android A14A, silently nodded while casually tracking the gravity-free trajectory of the headset across the interstellar freighter's cabin. It gradually slowed as it stretched to the end of its coiled telephone-like cord. A14A watched it stop briefly in center-cabin before beginning its return. Captain James was intently studying the control console readouts. "This is the third time our communications equipment has gone haywire this trip," he said. "Navigation computer's gone, too. Wouldn't you know it, just as we're reaching the edge of our own solar system, too. What I wouldn't give for a new Intergalactic radio transceiver and a rebuilt navigation system." "Duck, Sir." A14A announced. Captain James turned. "Wha...?" he managed as the headset ricocheted off his right temple and into the control console. "I said duck, Sir." A14A repeated. "Duck your butt!" Captain James barked, annoyed at his own mistake. "This is impossible, Sir," A14A answered, "I am not so equipped." Angry silence prevailed as Captain James' attention returned to the controls. "There's a planet coming up. Quickly A14A, read the starmap and tell me what it is. Earth system, outer orbits. And hurry!" The android hastily removed the pouch from its pocket next to the seat. It read UNIVERSE: THIRD QUADRANT, SECTION H, SUBSECTION O, EARTH SYSTEM, Scale = 1 centimeter per light/week. The android carefully pulled the badly worn map out of the pouch. "Hurry up, you overrated can of superconductive microcircuits!" James shouted. "We're already in its gravitational pull!" His words caused the android to jerk, ripping the map into three pieces. The center piece floated up and away, stopping at the ceiling of the cabin. "Brass brain!" Captain James yelled, unbuckling his safety harness and floating after it. His motion caused the pieces of the map to float along the cabin roof, away from the control console. "This is incorrect, Sir," A14A replied in its metallic monotone. "My central processing unit is of the latest design using the most advanced ceramic microchip technology. There is no brass involved in its manufacture, Sir." Captain James snatched at the map and stood inverted on the cabin ceiling, scanning it feverishly. "Three point seven seconds to impact without engagement of the third starboard lateral thruster within one point four seconds or less," the flight control programming unit announced as the planet loomed. "Crap!" Captain James screamed, flailing wildly, trying desperately to swim through the gravity-free artificial atmosphere. "Engage! Engage!" "Impossible, Sir." A14A flatly stated. "I am not so equipped. It is impossible for me to engage crap, Sir." "We're gonna hit!" Captain James wailed, pulling himself back into his seat. "Hit, Sir?" A14A asked. "Hit what?" "We're gonna hit Uranus!" "This is impossible, Sir. I am not so equipped." * * * * "EarthBase Interstellar flight control." Sam Barker grabbed the phone before the end of the first ring. "Damn!" he sighed into the receiver. "Okay. Yes. Okay, I will." He hung up the phone and reached across to press the button on the speakerphone. "B14B," he said. "Read to me the navigation records on the return flight of Arcturian freighter number seven oh oh three." "Problem, Sir?" the sensuous feminine voice asked. "We lost it on the outer edge of the solar system." "Shall I bring in the insurance forms and the shipping papers, Sir?" "Please. Wait! I'm curious. What was the freighter's cargo?" "Its that new trading company, Sir. Their initial shipment. I'm scanning, Sir. Cargo description. Here it is. Microelectronics, Sir. Intergalactic radio transceivers and navigation systems. Barker sighed as he fell back into his chair. "Well screw me silly." "I'm very sorry, Sir," android B14B's sensuous voice replied, "This is impossible, Sir. I am not so equipped."