Episodes That Won't Be Filmed Anytime Soon! The following is a bit of X humor. I picked this up off kris@wam.umd.edu 's webpage. I've edited it a bit and added a few more. Please tell me what you think of these, and if you have any submissions, please email at simc@mundil.cs.mu.oz.au The X-files/Baywatch Summer Special ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Aliens abduct David Hasselhoff's personality and acting ability. Seaquest XF ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Renowned FBI agents Mulder and Scully are pulled out of deep freeze sleep to investigate the overabundance of monsters and lack of plot in Seaquest DSV. Mulder and Scully discover that the crew are worm infested, germ carrying, and possessed by ghosts of Atlantis. Worst of all, Boy Wonder develops a crush on Scully. Cutbacks ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Mulder and Scully reassigned to meter maids due to government cutbacks. Plot dull until alien clone assassins double park while Mulder and Scully are on duty. Married with X-files ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Fox network is forced to combine shows in order to cut costs. Al is abducted by the sock Aliens and Mulder is abducted by Peg. Kelly and Bud write "She is one" on Scully while she's asleep and leave her in a forest. Mulder and Butthead ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Even the thought sickens me. XXX files ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Mulder the porn king finally acts out his fantasies with Scully. Shown as a Triple feature with "The loin King" and "Clear and present Banger". The Ricki Lake X-Files Special ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Cancelled due to DD's near fatal heart attack after hearing about the special. X-Files No More ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ The X-Files division has long been shut down. Scully has returned to Quantico, while Mulder has gone into the field of ghostbusting. When Scully discovers mutant cheesecake in her fridge, she calls in her former partner to help her dispose of it down the garbage disposal. X-Files on the Net ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ The X-Files division is shut down, and Mulder and Scully are assigned to office duty. Scully spends her time discussing the finer points of sputum cytology on sci.med.pathology. Mulder spends his time browsing www.playboy.com. X-Files star episode ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone Mulder and Scully are replaced by the dynamic duo of Stallone and Schwarzenegger. Trouble arises when nobody understands what Stallone is saying, and Schwarzenegger disappears in the men's room despite saying "I'll be back". Nocturnal Sojurn ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ X-files episode guest directed by Roman Polanski. Unlike other x-files episodes, everyone dies in the end. David Hasselhoff plays himself. The Scully horror picture show ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Scully reveals she is actually frankenfurter, a depraved alien who fled to earth to conquer (among other things) the human race. She creates her ultimate man, sings, and gets killed by an errant piece of toast.