I have a question or two for some of you who are a bit more worldly wise than me. Maybe you can give me some answers While I was in southern california a while ago and saw one of these newspapers that they sell out of the machines for swingers. I'd heard about these but never seen on. Now, to say the least I couln't belive it. BUT, I've got some questions. So try not to laugh, for these may be a bit naive 1. Is this for real? Or is this just a bunch of hookers advertising? 2. How can they give phone numbers (they all do)? Wouldn't they get calls fro all kinds of wierdos in all hours of the night? 3. What does "out call only" and "in call only" mean? 4. How come nearly every woman's picture in the entire paper is this beautifu body? I mean, do they expect us to believe that there are all these gorgeous women out there who can't find anyone to have sex iith and so they have to advertize for it? What about all the ugly women? Don't they advertize? 5. How come there were very few ads from men? I would think it would be the men who would be advertizing, not the women. 6. Do people really respond to those ads, or do they just buy the paper to look at the pictures? 7. What are these people really selling? I mean like one ad says "want to exchange photos" Are they selling them?? I mean, why would anyone do that if they wern't looking to make money from them? Would people really send naked pictures of themself to strangers? 8. What are these phone numbers who say, call and we will match you up with people who want to have sex with you etc etc. What's their angle? 9. If these swingers really do swing...don't they catch every thing there is to catch. Doesn't sound like the healthiest way to live. Anybody got any answers?? Poor little Roger. Gotta keep him down on the farm, so these city wiles won't get him taken advantage of. I don't know all the answers to your questions, but I'll try: 1. Is this for real? Just as real as the "massage parlors" who give rather considerably more than massage. 2. Anybody who puts her phone number in a paper like that is going to get weird phone calls at all hours. That's why so many of them are linked to answering machines and message services. You might ask Sarona Collins how she handles the calls that come to her. 3. "Out call only" means that she comes to the place you specify. "In call only" means that you go to the place she specifies. 4. The pictures are of beautiful women because that's what guys fantasize about. Guys tend not to fantasize about ugly women, do they? 5. How come so few ads from men? Because women generally don't go out looking for sex they can buy. And they generally aren't into anonymous sex. Nor sex without some sort of relationship. 6. Some people respond to the ads. Let's face it, the ad is marketing. One doesn't continue to market a product unless there is some sort of demand, with a profit associated with it. Ads cost money. Ergo, the people who continue to place the ad are finding some sort of benefit associated with the ad. 7. Would people really send naked pictures of themselves to strangers? Some people do, Rog. It's called advertising. 8. What about the "matching" services? Yet another euphemism, my friend. 9. You're right about swinging, I suspect. There are now some studies that are showing a small but discernable percentage of hookers carrying the HTLV virus, and who are still sexually active. The ol' "exchange of bodily fluids" in the wrong places ain't confined to the gay male population any more. But then, what do I know? I'm so innocent, and naive..... Elna Do you mean to tell me that all the people who advertise in these are pros? Do "swingers" advertise anywhere or is that just a myth? Rog -- I can't guarantee that *everybody* who places a classified ad there is a ro. But pros use newspapers like that. A lot. People who class themselves as "swingers" generally prefer local groups, the contact for which tends to be passed from person to person along a grapevine. There are "clubs" for swingers in probably every major city in the country -- but the whereabouts tends to be known only to the locals who have an interest, and to selected visitors. I'm not speaking for personal knowledge, understand. I've talked to people who have been participants, and I'm basing my answers on things I've learned from them. elna Hmmmm, how interesting. I'm suprised that the police let it be so open. And, if every massage parlor doesn't give massages, where does one go to get a REAL massage?? Boy, I have lots of questions don't I? A real massage? Probably at a holistic health center, luv. Elna Dear Roger: I see Elna has given you a very comprehensive reply. However, there *are* magazines that carry non-commercial contact advertisements. One of these is "Kinky Contacts". There you will see people advertizing according to their interests. There is a large tv section, for example, and a section for couples who want a third person. There are also a lot of advertisements from dominant ladies, but I believe most of those are probably from professionals or semi-professionals. And there *are* also advertisements from men. Of course, those of us who are more sophisticated use electronic kinky contacts (otherwise known as Section 8)! Seriously, though, I think some of these magazines do serve a purpose. How else would a couple who wanted to meet a tv to join in their fun and games go about finding one? Best wishes ... Peter So tell me the scenario. An ad says something like "couples wants to get together with single men. Or will share photos. Write for info and send picture and phone number" So, if somebody answers that ad, what happens?? I believe that a lot of people are interested just in writing and sharing photos. But these ads to lead to actual "contacts" too. I wonder whether any other members can enlighten us further. I've never explored the possibilities of contact mags myself. In Canada, go to a registered massage therapist (RMT). This is a problem many legitimate masseurs ans masseusses experience. If you want a REAL massage, check out ads in regular newspapers. Look for the certified therapeutic masseuses ... they're on the up-and-up, since the people who want the OTHER kind of massage look other places to find parlors. (Least that's the way we do it in Texas.) Well, Roger.... Having met a few people who do advertise, & reply, I know that at least a few are for real. As an experiment for a class, I once answered several ads. Out of 25 tries, I got 12 responses, and actually carried out lengthy correspondence with 2, even after telling them why I had written in the first place. Of the remaining 10, I eliminated 8 before my "confession" for various reasons, i.e. pros, requests for or offers of money, etc. The last two were also real people, but requested that they not be made part of my data, and consequently, our correspondence concluded fairly early on. Huggss, Kathy Hmmmm, interesting. What did the real people want (before they found out why you had answered the ad) What did the pro's want? What was the justification for requests for money? Were these ads from men, women or couples? Lots of questions eh?? There are indeed real contact magazines: you can recognize them because they are 50% men looking for women, 40% couples looking for couples or women and 10% women looking for some combination of M/W/C. (and half the women are still pros or total rip-off). If you are interested in this method of meeting someone, I would try a broad minded personals section in a straight publication, or the ad section of a journal devoted to your interest (since this is section 8, I am assuming a non-standard interest). If you're 'normal' you can probably do fairly well-- at least it's better for the liver thant the bar scene. I have run my phone in ads, and gotten all sorts of calls. It was educational. For a single male, my experience is that you do better running your own ad: a womans ad gets literally hundreds of responses, and even if your response is attaractive she's liable to have dumped the whole bagful in the trash. You'll get 2 or 3, but they'll be real. The key, in either an ad or a respnse, is to proesent yourself as a real person, interested in meeting a real person. (the Boston Phoenix realizes this and deliberately edits 'kinky' (does not include gay by their definition) ads to ba as unattractive as possible) Frank Just a short question to the more knowledgeable types out there: Which of the contact magazines are best from a response, nationwide distribution, and amount of readership standpoint? I am most interested in the "slick" magazines, not the newspaper types. Anybody have any experience/ideas on the subject? I was amazed to learn that there are almost as many couples advertizing as there are males. It looks as if the group scene is very popular. Can you break down those ads even further, e.g. what proportion are looking for another male, what proportion for a female, and what proportion for another couple? That would be most interesting. I suspect the high couples ratio is because they have a tolerable success rate: They do hear from other couples, _plenty_ of single males if they'll accept them, and probably do as well with single females as single men do. Single men on the other hand get damn few replies and thus get discouraged. I would guess that over half the couples want couples or female, with just couples coming next. Just females is about tied with couples, males, females, and males only is a _very_ distant Nth. (I have seen such, but they're rare). Say 55, 25, 10, 10 percent. That's a quick and dirty guess, and rememberthat my sample is heavily biased to BD/SM. Another reason for the heavy couples presence in 'Swinger' pubs might be that singles can play word games in straight personals, whereas couples are kinda stuck. Frank Kenneth, I have found that only publications like The New York Review of Books have much legitimacy--see the personal ad section therein. The magazines like Latent Image apparently have something going, as they have been around for a long time. Most of the people I know who have tried to connect through swingers mags have been disappointed; I would be interested to see if anyone responds to you who has matched up. John T.