CLOWNING AROUND Sam looked glumly at her reflection. A white faced clown with a bright ball for a nose smiled back from underneath a shock of cherry red hair. Giving the wig a tug, Sam stuck out her tongue at the reflection. What right did it have to be so cheery when she was having such a bad day? Not only was she late for work, her car had broken down, forcing a three mile trek down rain soaked streets to find a cab. To top it all off she had broken up with her boyfriend of over two years. Things had not gone well, and they still had several more weeks of work together. Standing up, Sam sighed. Being part of a circus was every child's dream, her included. Now that she was actually part of one it was just another job. As clown ringmaster she was able to ham it up with the audience more than the other clowns as well as paticipate in many of the skits, but that got old after a while. The makeup was the last stage of a complex dress ritual, so she was now ready to go. Enought time was left for one last glance in the mirror of her crowded dressing room. Besides the aformentioned face over her own, she wore a bright orange top jacket with tails. Underneath this was a vest with a sequined bow tie that constantly chaffed her neck. Below were the white stretch pants that tucked into the top of long black boots. White gloves and a shiny top hat mashed down firmly on top of the unruly wig completed the ensemble. Looking at herself Sam realized not for the first time that the true reason she had the job was more due to her being able to fit into the suit than her talents. Being thin helped, and her quietly attractive looks went well with the makeup. Shrugging, she reached down and connected a hose to the clip valve located at the edge of her boot. When she first started this was one of the bigger surprises. The suit was almost one piece, boots included, the topcoat being the only thing seperate. In reality the outfit was a double walled bladder that could fill up with air. It was used later in the act when Sam was supposed to try to vamp one of the male clowns. She'd whip out a little air pump and while she was puffing away with it in pantomime they would give her air from back stage, making her figure expand voluminously. It never failed to bring gasps from the kids and a few whistles from the older ones. At first Sam had thought the suit hysterically funny. Today it was only a hot and heavy bother. Giving a good tug to center out her waist, she strode out to the show. It was a busy night with a near capacity crowd in the small auditorium. With a single spotlight illuminating her and the center ring Sam went into the timeworn and honored "Ladies and Gentlemen..." The blinding spot hid most of the audience from her, which was just as well, considering the mood she was in. It started during the first act. Sam was standing off to the side as the aerialists were running off. The next intro was the jugglers, which would give her a short break. Before she stepped up to the microphone a slight hiss became audible, along with a familiar tightening of the suit around her calf where the valve was. Glancing down she could see the telltale swelling as the leg pocket started to puff up. What the hell was going on? It was far too early in the act for this. Unfortunately, Sam had lines to perform. Hoping the stage hands would catch the mistake, she started the next spiel. No such luck. Sam could feel pressure slowly starting to increase in her torso, wrapping around her back and under her arms. Quickly sneaking a peek down, she could see the front of her outfit starting to billow out just a bit, still mostly contained by the stiffer fabric of the topcoat. An angry glare towards the wings revealed nothing, the spot still blinding her with its brilliance. The audience was beginning to notice the enlargement as Sam's chest visibly started to creep outward. Her hips and thighs were quick to follow, more noticeable due to the tightness of the white pants than anything else. Sam was getting a bit nervous and kept glaring over to the side pits, but gamely kept her spiel going. The hissing was now much louder and was becoming audible to the crowd. Snickers and giggles greeted Sam's ears as the growth of the suit became obvious. She was now large enough that the swelling of her legs was starting to push them apart and her sides were big enough to give a gentle uplift to her arms. In front her chest stuck out like twin volley balls. If not for the makeup and previous experience, Sam would be blushing quite red. A little child's voice was clearly heard over the restrained snickering. "Mommy, I want that balloon!" Something was definetly wrong here. Sam had never been this big before. The pressure inside the suit was bearing down on her evenly all over, forcing her arms slowly upwards and away from her sides. At the same time her legs were being pushed into a straddle position. Sam was rapidly becoming a caricature of a woman, enormous chest over huge hips and legs. She stopped her speech and appealed directly to the wings over the growing laughter. "Hey, what's going on?! This isn't part of the act..." Sam's voice trailed of as she saw what was by the air tanks. There stood Mark, her ex boyfriend, smiling evilly with his hand on the controls. With a thrill of horror she realized that instead of the usual markings of air, these tanks were labeled "helium." Starting to struggle, Sam knocked her tophat off as she attempted to pull her vest open. The orange coat was already too tight however, buttons strained by the overinflation. Sam looked over in mute supplication at Mark. In reply he twisted the valve several more rotations. In seconds the pressure had doubled and doubled again. Sam watched helplessly as she inflated out of control, unable to do anything about it. The audience hooted, waved and cheered while her figure swelled into a bloated top, enormous chest and shoulders with sausage like arms sticking out over giant hip and calves that stretched the boots out to vast size. Sam's demands for release were drowned out by the noise. When the topcoat's front buttons gave with a bang the crowd grew even more enthusiastic, getting into the swing of things. The topcoat was all that had kept Sam's waistline in check however, and that ballooned out to match the rest of her in short order. As the seconds passed she more and more resembled a ball in appearance. Crying with shock now, Sam suddenly realized a new element had entered into the equation. Gently, first one foot and then the other left the floor, leaving her rotating inches above the ground. "somebody help me!" she shrieked, but the roar of the crowd had redoubled at this latest development. Sam drifted upwards, wailing her frustration at those below. After a bit her head bumped lighly into the ceiling. By this time the pressure was at the point were it was difficult to breath and her ability to move anything but her hands had gone long ago. The traitorous spot had followed her and now illuminated her round shape against the backdrop of the stage lights by the rafters. Still the inflation continued. Sam's shoulders started to press up around her ears. How much bigger would she get? The pressure was becoming unbearable. It was the valve that finally decided. Pushed past its endurance, it blew out with a reverberating boom. With a whistling screech of escaping gas and a long drawn out yowl Sam transversed the length of the auditorium. With near perfect precision she sailed out the door and came to rest amid the ruins of her ruined outfit. Panting with anger, she listened to the applause of the crowd inside. "That was great! Bloody marvelous!" The manager was the first to reah her, puffing from his long run arund the halls. "The way you went right out the doors, genius!" Sam looked at him oddly. He didn't actually believe she planned this, did he? "Once we get you a new suit, we'll do this every night. Hell, we'll get a chorus line. Call it balloon bod babes or something. Marvelous idea!" Sam stared after the manager as he bustled off. Accepting a helping hand up from out of the remains of her suit, she smiled wryly. This was all too weird to be angry about and besides, it was a good example of the old adage "Cheer up, things can always be worse!"