### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ####### ####### [ The Investigator's Problem ] [ By Bravemoore ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ The Investigator's Problem by Bravemoore It looked just like your average suburban homicide, until the first lab report arrived. The woman was found dead in her own apartment. Judging from the blue lines around her neck, she had been strangled with a cord, rope or similar. No obvious signs of struggle, but the whole place had been turned inside out. Clothes, furniture, home appliances and newspapers lay scattered in every room. This had though been done after or during the murder, according to the witness reports. BomDNA Inc. is proud to present the latest in anonymizing. Flood the tracks that your biological heritage make all the time. Saliva, sweat, skin fragment, hair, blood and even semen tracks can now be disguised to keep the prying eyes of private investigators and jealous wifes away. Don't let the tracks of nature hold you back anymore! Buy your own pocket size Private Anonymizer today. SuperBomb(TM) - Contains traces from at least one thousand people. AtomGenBomb(TM) - Contains traces from at least ten thousand people. HydroGenBomb(TM) - Contains traces from at least one million people! Also called "The Contaminator" Note: No synthetic DNA has been used in any of these products, only samples from real people, taken from real environments. It had come to the attention of the police that a new company was selling a brand new product, that was getting more and more used by criminals to hide their tracks at various crime scenes. Apart from other existing similar products, this company had gone through great lengths to improve theirs. They used cheap imitations of state of the art techniques to store biological samples without degrading and without the the need to keep it in a sterile container. Also, with these products there was no easy, if any, way to know which DNA samples were planted and which were the ones from the perpetrator. Why? The planted traces of human presence came from hospitals, hair dressers, public toilets, subways, trains and many other places where a lot of people use every day. Since it is possible to find DNA in very small samples, the company's claim to have products which include traces from a million people is sadly true. The investigator shook his head and seriously thought about his choice of career. LAB REPORT BRIEF Dust samples 1, 2 and 3 are contaminated. No. of different DNA found: 340. Skin samples A1, A2 and A3 are contaminated. No. of different DNA: 714. Saliva samples B1, B2 and B3 are contaminated. No. of different DNA: 228. All samples has to be done again. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #522 Underground eXperts United 1999 uXu #522 http://www.uXu.org/ - info@uxu.org ---------------------------------------------------------------------------