### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ## ## ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ## ## ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ## ####### ####### [ Raised Carefully ] [ By Bravemoore ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ Raised Carefully, by Bravemoore dedicated to H.T. and M.T. Here I am. At 30 years of age one might think that I've accomplished quite a few things in my days. On the contrary, I haven't done a thing in my life that I really wanted. When I was a child, my parents looked after me really well. Perhaps too well. It wasn't that I never had what I wanted, because I never wanted anything. My parents didn't leave any room for me to develop my own will. They weren't religious at all, but before I was even born they had decided that I would have a great childhood. I would not have to do all the mistakes they had gone through in their lives. All my needs were taken care of before I even knew I had them. They gave me good and healthy food, and I even had a lunch box for school, even though they were serving food there. I did a lot of sports when I grew up. I did running, canoeing, fencing and tennis. To this day, I'm still practising tennis twice a week. I was really sick only once, that was in third grade. For two days my fever wouldn't go down, but on the fourth day I wasn't ill anymore. My mom and dad took good care of me all the time, and I was never worried about being sick. Each Christmas I had a lot of presents. I actually never wished for anything, my parents knew me well enough to buy what I wanted. My grandparents sent me presents as well, but I only got the things that my parents agreed on was good for me. My grandparents never came to see me and I think it's because my mother and father decided it would be better if they didn't. I imagine them as being very nice and friendly though. After school, I've been working at home for my parent's company, crane renting. Most of our customers are construction sites and the police. We lift walls, safes and smashed cars most of the time. The business is good. I occasionally follow my parents to the mall when shopping, but I prefer staying at home. I don't have any friends to visit, and quite frankly I wouldn't want to go even if I had. Every Saturday and Sunday me, mom and my dad make a big dinner and then we eat and talk about the past week and things that we enjoy talking about. All these years they knew what I was feeling and thinking. I guess that made me feel secure in a way. On the other hand, I was never given the space needed for my own thoughts and my own feelings. Thoughts best thought when alone. Feelings best faced when alone. But I was never alone. This morning I woke up early and it became obvious to me that I was half through life. It also occurred to me that there was one thing my parents could never protect me from. That's when I for the first time ever got really angry with them. They had been saying for all my life that I'd be safe and whatever happened, they would protect me. If they had been awake they might have explained this to me, but it's too late for that now. They shouldn't have tried so hard. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #405 Underground eXperts United 1997 uXu #405 Pay a visit to our IRC channel -> #uxu ---------------------------------------------------------------------------