uSu - united States underground By:Cyberglitch Totally cruel Anarchy Ok listen up this shit is ment to be seriously funny and really damaging to people's stuff and or people. If you do any of this shit, don't go blaming the shit on uSu. Ok here goes Totally cruel anarchy. 1) Say there's someone you really hate, that has a car. Ok now do this, THING'S YOU'LL NEED: Gloves(something that's not cloth, get disposables) A plastic bag to put road kill in Fresh road kill, a dead or run over squirrel or chipmunk, whatever will do Some scotch tape A old tie that no one will care that's missing A pair of sunglasses(optional, not really nessary, but funny) A glass cutter A plunger(or something that you can suction glass with) WHAT TO DO: Ok first get your gloves and plastic bag ready and go out and find some dead road kill and pick it up wearing the gloves and put it in the bag. Next take the tie and put it around the road kill's neck like a person would wear one. You can put the sunglasses on to, just make sure there's no finger prints, after all you wouldn't wanna get caught doing this shit because of finger prints. Ok now place your road kill back in the bag, now go to your victim's car at night time! Now make sure that they don't have an alarm that goes off if you touch or move the steering wheel slighty, the drivers seat or if you remove the window. Now with the plunger suction it on the window. Then with the glass cutter cut out the glass and carefully remove the glass that it suctioned onto your plunger(or whatever). Then take that glass and put it down somewhere(remember no fingerprints unless you wanna get caught). Now with the tape take you road kills hands(or claws, whatever) and tape them to the steering whell(or glue them if you wish) as if the road kill where trying to drive this persons car. Then watch tommorrow morning (from a distance where they can't spot you) as the person who owns the car comes out and sees the road kill in his car, most people would probally just take the road kill out with the gloves. But the stench from the road kill being in there over night will be there for quite some time, Espeically if there maggot's and shit on the road kill already. Watch what they do, then laugh your head off :). 2) In your school(if you go to school), go into the bathrooms when no ones in there, usally after school is good, just make sure no one sees you going in so they can't blame the shit you're about to do on you. Ok when you go in, make sure you got'ta take a leak(no not a crap, i wouldn't trust any toliet that being used by more than 4 people). Then go up to the toliet, and start to take a leak, but what's this you accidentlly relieved yourself, but no of the urine made it into the toliet, ah what the hell piss on the walls, the toliet handles hell even do it to the door. Then those cheesy toliet paper dispeners take one and open it(or if you have a toliet paper roll take if off the wall), and drop in it the toliet. Do this for each stall, so when someone has to take a crap they have nothing but their hands to wipe their asses with. What this a sink in the bathroom, well we can't have that now, ok do this, clog up the sink, and any other holes that remove water from the sink, then turn on the water and let it overflow. Hell if you wan't to take a dump in the sink. Bring like a toothpick and stick in the shit and make it look like a little white flag. Then calmly leave the bathroom like as if nothing happened, then when you get home laugh your fucking head off as some poor janitor now has to clean after you going to the bathroom. 3) During one of those boring as hell school assembly come into the place where they meet reaking and releasing some fowl body orders. Then when you get your seat, pick your nose and start wiping your finger with that really big bogger on it on someone else seats. Watch them either get sick or just leave. What's that you have the 3 day old piece of gum in your mouth, well if you school has those nice cloth seats, take the gum and smear into the cloth. Watch the janitors scream and cry like all hell becuase they have to take that shit out. During the assembly scream out stuff like "BOY THAT WAS A STINKY", "WHOA DID SOMETHING DIE IN HERE", "UHHH CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PASS THE GREY POPUNE", "IF WE USED UP ALL OUR SICK DAYS MAY WE CALL IN DEAD?", "HEY THAT PERSON OVER THERE ISN'T FAT, JUST SEVERLY GRAVITY IMPAIRED", "OOPS, SORRY ABOUT TAKING A DUMP IN MY SEAT", "HEY PULL MY FINGER!", "HEY I'M HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT A HORSE, GEUSS IT'S TIME TO GO TO BURGER KING". Have fun dammit 4) If you're really fucking crazy, on school the next day right on your chest "Anarchy Rulez" and then run around your school naked or with no shirt on. 5) With a friend who has a car, buy like a crate of Snapple(the good shit, nothing like the Lipton or Nestea Crap), drive and drink a couple of the bottles, then with the empty bottles roll down your window and have fun. Take the bottle chuck them at cars, windows, houses, hell even people, and to make it even more funny and nasty, take a leak in the bottle, cap it, and then chuck it at something, WHOA what a stench. Have fun with this one, just make sure you don't drive to fast, you wouldn't wan't a cop to stop you and try and take you in for disorderly conduct would you? 6) Go to your nearest play ground and harass the kids their, tell them you wan't to make love and stuff with them. Take those crappy swings and wind them up onto of the pole so no one can use. Jam the merri-go round wheels and teater totters. Get a dead road kill and tape it onto the slides there. 7) Go around your neighborhood and knock people's mailboxs of the posts and put them in the middle of the street for cars to run over. 10) Pour some lye or other bad tasting shit into your teachers coffee 11) Go into the class you hate the most and relieve yourself in the corner, hell even take a dump while your at it, and make sure you smear it on the teachers desk. Look out for more cool and funny shit to do in later releases.