================================================================ THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE VOL 1, #4 ================================================================ "Kenyon's Very Own Non Alien Run REPLIES TO: Electronic Magazine" "purps%vax004.decnet@vax001.kenyon.edu" * PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSSS *** P P U U R R P P S ***** P P U U R R P P S ******* PPPPPP U U RRRRRR PPPPPP SSSSS ********* P U U R R P S *********** P U U R RR P S ***** P UUUUU R R P SSSSSS ***** ***** ***** ***** * **** * *** *** *** **** * ***** ************************************ **************************************** ************************************ **** ***** ***** *** ***** *** * ***** * ***** ***** ***** ***** *********** ********* ******* ***** *** * ________________________________________________________________ SOMETHING WHICH MIGHT, IN THE CORRECT FRAME OF MIND, LOOK SORT OF LIKE A TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction: Indulge me for a moment.... News Heavy Stuff, The "War" on Drugs OTISian Rants: The Readers Rant Other Rants: The Secret of Beer, Art Contest Submissions ---------------------------------------------------------------- INTRODUCTION (Too Soon! Too Soon!) Excuse me while I catch my breath. That's better. No, you are not hallucinating. The last one of these things was just yesterday. Things are coming in at a truly alarming rate right now, and this will be the only free time I have to put this all together (Hail Creiza) for quite some time now (Hail OTIS!!!!). Don't, please, expect another issue for a couple of weeks. You haven't the space. I haven't the time. The mailing list is either shrinking or coalescing now. Although we are spread out all over the net (thanks, Mal. By the way there's only ONE thing here from you this issue {:-)), the actual dis.list is holding steady at 32. Oddly, our support from the faculty seems a tad more constant than that of the students. (And no, I'm not saying any more on that one, thanks {:-)). I am currently constructing a Purps archive division of all the stuff which gets submitted that's too large to fit here, the WP back files, and many other things. As members of Purps you all have read access privileges to these files. You can't rewrite them or delete them, but you can copy them over to your account, read them there, and print them out. The files, oddly enough, are at [Stevensj]. Hopefully, I will be able to come up with a file of brief abstracts [Stevensj] purps.essential, which will tell you how to get at these things. Topics right now include OTISian stuff, UFOs, Conspiracy Theory, and OTHER. More will be added. The number of files is limited by my 1,000 blocks as of yet... If you're not on the Kenyon Vax, send me a message, and I'll send you an abstract. The simplest solution, of course, would be to dump these things into a subdirectory, but apparently, I lack the system privilege to create one. In what will I hope be the last mistake of its kind, I deleted, Margaretten, your friend's not so noble edition to Webster's when deleting for space. Please send it again, and I'll see what I can do with it. "Pope" Geffe I ---------------------------------------------------------------- _______ News ------- >> The "War On Drugs" (an ABBREVIATED copy of H.R. Bill 4079, another attempt to "cleanse" this nation of its drug problem. This is a long one, and you might want to skim it. Section 151 (a) where the fourth amendment is revoked is interesting, although since this bill declares a five year state of national emergency, ANY constitutional right could "legally" come under the ax. "Ppe" Jeoffe) In article <125@ctbilbo.UUCP> pete@ctbilbo.UUCP (Pete Ritter) writes: >A few nights ago on the radio, I caught the tail end of a discussion of >a bill before Congress that would temporarily suspend the 4th (search and >seizure) and 8th (cruel and unusual punishment) Amendments. I think the >bill was HR4079 and "temporarily" was 5 years. I got the idea that the >purpose of the bill is to make it easier to prosecute dealers and users of illegal drugs. I just received a copy of H.R.4079 in the mail. As soon as I read the original posting, I phoned up the Bill Status Office, in Washington, ((202)225-1772) and requested a copy. For those interested in obtaining a copy, I was referred to the House Document Room, (202)225-3456. They sent a copy, free of charge (it took 3 days). H.R.4079 is truly an incredible assault on our Constitutional rights. The Bill is 96 pages long, however, I have listed several interesting excerpts below. The excerpted text is straight out of the Bill, except where noted in brackets. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - H.R. 4079 To provide swift and certain punishment for criminals in order to deter violent crime and rid America of illegal drug use. House of Representatives, February 22, 1990, Mr. Gingrich. [Gingrich is the main sponsor, however, there is a list of other Representatives who, presumably, want their name on the Bill, also. -tf]. SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE This Act may be cited as the "National Drug and Crime Emergency Act". . . SECTION 3. (b) Declaration of National Drug and Crime Emergency - (1) Guided by the principles that energized and sustained the mobilization for World War II, and in order to remove violent criminals from the streets and meet the extraordinary threat that is posed to the Nation by the use and trafficking of illegal drugs, the Congress declares the existence of a National Drug and Crime Emergency beginning on the date of enactment of this Act and ending on the date that is 5 years after the date of enactment of this Act. (2) During the National Drug and Crime Emergency declared in paragraph (1), it shall be the policy of the United States that --- (A) every person who is convicted in a Federal court of a crime of violence against a person or a drug trafficking felony (other than simple possession) shall be sentenced to and shall serve a full term of no less than 5 years' imprisonment without release; (B) prisoners may be housed in tents, and other temporary facilities may be utilized, consistent with security requirements; and (C) the Federal courts may limit or place a "cap" on the inmate population level of a Federal or State prison or jail only when an inmate proves that crowding has resulted in cruel and unusual punishment of the plaintiff inmate and no other remedy exists. . . TITLE I -- ELIMINATION OF CRIME WITHOUT PUNISHMENT Subtitle A -- National Drug and Crime Emergency Policies SEC. 101. Judicial Remedies for prison crowding. . . (c) Amendment of Title 18, United States Code... ..."(a)(1) During the period of National Drug and Crime Emergency, a Federal court shall not hold prison or jail crowding unconstitutional under the eighth amendment except to the extent that an individual plaintiff inmate proves that the crowding causes the infliction of cruel and unusual punishment of that inmate. [ several long winded paragraphs then go on to say that if this happens, the relief shall only extend to remove the specific conditions that are causing the cruel and unusual punishment of that particular inmate. -tf ] SEC. 102. Temporary Prison Facilities and Expanded Capacity. . . (b) Use of Military Installations. - In order to provide facilities for incarceration... ...., and the Director of the Bureau of Prisons shall-- (A) identify military installations that could be used as confinement facilities for Federal or State prisoners; and (B) examine the feasibility of using temporary facilities for housing prisoners with a specific examination of the successful use of tent housing during the mobilization for World War II. Subtitle B -- Imposition of Mandatory Minimum Sentences Without Release [here, it lists various minimum sentences for violent and drug related crime, including drug trafficking. It also goes on to say that it 'encourages' states to adapt mandatory minimum prison sentences by withholding Federal drug law enforcement funds from the States that do not comply. -tf] . . Subtitle C -- Mandatory Work Requirements for Prisoners, Withholding Federal Benefits, and Drug Testing of Prisoners. . . Subtitle D -- Judicial Reform to Protect the Innocent and Punish the Guilty SEC. 151. Good Faith Standards for Gathering Evidence. (a) ... United States Code, is amended by adding at the end thereof the following new section: " 3509. Admissibility of evidence obtained by search or seizure (a)Evidence Obtained by Objectively Reasonable Search or Seizure -- Evidence which is obtained as a result of a search or seizure shall not be excluded in a proceeding court of the United States on the ground that the search or seizure was in violation of the fourth amendment to the Constitution of the United States, if the search or seizure was carried out in circumstances justifying an objectively reasonable belief that it was in conformity with the fourth amendment. The fact that evidence was obtained pursuant to and within the scope of a warrant constitutes prima facie evidence of the existence of such circumstances. (b) Evidence Not Excludable by Statute or Rule. Evidence shall not be excluded in a proceeding in a court of the United States on the ground that it was obtained in violation of a statute, an administrative rule or regulation, or a rule of procedure unless exclusion is expressly authorized by statute or by a rule prescribed by the Supreme Court pursuant to statutory authority. . . SEC. 153. Proscription of Use of Drug Profits. (a) List of Assets -- ... . . "(2)(A) Prior to sentencing a defendant on conviction in a Federal court of a felony under this title, the court shall compile a list of all assets owned by the defendant not subject to forfeiture. [ note that this is a list of assets *not* subject to forfeiture -tf] "(B) After the release of a defendant described in subparagraph (A), upon request of the Attorney General, the court shall require the defendant to provide proof that any asset owned by the defendant not listed on the list described in subparagraph (A) was legally obtained.". TITLE II -- ACHIEVING A DRUG FREE AMERICA BY 1995 . . SEC. 204. Revocation of Drug Users' Driver's Licenses and Pilot's Licenses. . . SEC. 206. Drug-Free Schools. . . SEC. 207. Drug-Free Transportation. . . SEC. 208. Monetary Awards For Certain Information Relating to the Unlawful Sale of Controlled Substances. . . "(H)(i) For the payment of an award to any person or persons who provide information leading to the arrest an conviction under Federal law of any individual or individuals for the unlawful sale, or possession for sale, of a controlled substance or a controlled substance analogue. The aggregate amount of such award shall be equal to 50 percent [yes, that's 50 percent! -tf] of the fair market value (as of date of forfeiture) of all property forfeited to the United States as a result of such conviction and pursuant to a law enforced or administered by the Department of Justice: Provided, That payment of such awards shall not reduce the amount of such moneys or property available for distribution to State and local law enforcement agencies. "(ii) For the payment to the State or States in which the Federal offense was committed by such individual or individuals, of an incentive award to encourage such State or States, at their option, to establish a program (including outreach) to pay rewards to persons who provide information leading to the arrest and conviction under State law of individuals for the unlawful sale, or possession for sale, of controlled substances or controlled substance analogues. The aggregate amount of such incentive award shall be equal to 5 percent of the fair market value (as of the date of forfeiture) of all property forfeited to the United States as a result of the convictions referred to in clause (i) and pursuant to a law enforced or administered by the Department of Justice. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tom Flynn Work --> tomf@tekigm2.men.tek.com Tektronix, Inc. School ------> thomasf@upvax.uucp Measurement Systems Division Compu$erve -----------> 74425,473 Vancouver, Washington Q-Link ----------------> ThomasF1 Delivery C1-975 Voice ------------> (206)253-5537 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= --------------------------------------------------------------- OTISIAN RANTS _________________________________________________________________ (in which everything worth knowing about absolutely everything will be revealed!) This Time: Purps' Readers Speak Out! (every now and then I will turn this section over to your individual works of genius. Like now, for example, when I can't think of anything better to do with it.... As you can plainly see, you should all be committed) From: VAX001::MOLLET 1-OCT-1990 22:08:22.53 To: Subj: SKY Hi,did you see my note or did your weird eye just got in the room without even noticing? Well just to tell you that the grass is still purple, although some think it's pink(in fact only when it rains), and the mountains blue. I've been telling this all day. This is a colourfull day and grassy not to be mistaken with greassy,moods. Hope you see the light. May OTIS be with you. Olivia ---------------------------------------------------------------- From: VAX001::KURELLJJ "TRUE LOVE DIED IN THE HEART OF A DRAGON-SLAYER" 3-OCT-1990 03:26:23.45 Must say, it's good. Originally I had my thoughts of non-goodness, but it's goo- IT'S BETTER THAN CATS. I LOVED IT. I'M GOING TO SEE IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. -Jed ================================================================= From: VAX001::HILLV "I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for all this--I just don't know what it is." Subj: OTIS At lunch today, we, a mixed company (drama, poli sci, history, biology, physics and, of course, English) were all able to relate to the spoon in terms of our respective majors. Not only that, but we applied Sopciology, Anthropology, German and Dance. We hit religion and were confused. Is this the sort of sign Otis sends?? (I don't remember ever seeing a spoon on the cover of time.) Theologically confused, the wombat >> Next week, we at the IGHF will be worshiping SPOONS. If nothing else, we believe the way they reverse Images has to have some mystical/theological import. ---------------------------------------------------------------- From: VAX001::KOEHLERS 30-SEP-1990 13:41:07.47 Subj: OTIS lives in our minds and in our hearts! Yes, please place my name on the glorious list of believers, as has already been done in OTIS's book of life!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------- =============================================================== OTHER RANTS =============================================================== (in which absolutely nothing will be revealed at all) This Time: BEER! ART! From: wave@Think.COM Message-Id: <9010021445.AA07976@cyclops.think.com> To: big-phun@media-lab.media.mit.edu Subject: a real urban legend - them slugs like Bud Stat This is one of those semi-arcane stories you hear about, but never believe. I think this guy actually did this study. The paper is floating around Thinking Machines, if anyone cares. Don't ask me for a copy, though. Here is the abstract: ATTRACTIVENESS OF BEER AND FERMENTATION PRODUCTS TO DEROCERAS SPECIES GARDEN SLUGS Whitney S Cransaw Department of Entomology Colorado State University Fort Collins, COlorado 80523 ABSTRACT: A series of field trials were conducted to determine the attractiveness of various malt beverages and fermentation products to Deroceras species garden slugs. Among 12 tested American beers, a 3-fold range in attractiveness was measured, based on trap captures. Alcohol was not involved in attractiveness to slugs as highest captures were effected with Kingsbury Malt Beverage, a non-alcoholic malt beverage. Furthermore, alcoholic fortification of 48-hr flattened beers had variable, and occasionally negative, effects on slug captures. Sugar water/yeast combinations showed substantial attractiveness to slugs with mixtures involving larger yeast > baking yeast > ale yeast, water check. The addition of surface active compounds did not increase slug capture in sugar water/yeast baited traps. A brewery waste product (malted grain fiber) also showed attractiveness to garden slugs, with increased attractiveness following amendment with sucrose and active yeasts. Some notes: The surface active compounds the abstract talks about (also known as "surfactants") were Ivory Dishwashing detergent and also a wetting agent, Aqua-gro. As far as I know, no slug tests have been performed with the surfactant used in Gillette foamy, nonoxynol-9. Gallo Pink Chablis was tested and was not attractive to slugs, but unfermented grape juice was. Among the beers tested are Rainer, Strohs, Schaefer, Bud, Bud Light, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Coors, Coors Light, Miller, Michelob, Kingsbury Malt Beverage. The testing methodology was impeachable: each test trial tested 4 beers in randomized locations in a 4 block slug trap, scattered in numerous locations throughout a "heavily vegetated yard". One of the beers was always Bud, and results are expressed in ratio form relative to the Bud standard. P.S. If for some reason you need to reach the author, here is how to reach him: I couldn't find a street address for CSU but here is my best shot: Whitney Cranshaw Asst. Professor of Entomology E115 Anatomy - Zoology Colorado State University Fort Collins, CO 80523 (303) 491-6781 His home address is: 1400 W. Lake St. Fort Collins, CO 80521 I also couldn't find an e-mail address. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ From: VAX001::SCHWARTR "Child of Confusion" 1-MAY-1990 19:05:39.29 To: @PICTURE Subj: nothing much ||||||| ||||||||\ ||||||| ||| | ||||||||| || () \ /// \\\\ || _\ / () \\\\ || \__| /_ \\\\ || / |__/ |||| \ _/ \__ /|||| | | | | |||| / __ \ / \|||| | \ \| / / / |||| | \ \ / / / |||| | \ \______/__\______/ / |||| | \________====________/ \\\\ Hmmmmmmmm........ Well, folks, what do we think about THIS one? Budding Michangelo? Budding Brunestetii? ________________________________________________________________ THE PURPLE THUNDERBOLT OF SPODE ISSUE # 4 ---------------------------------------------------------------- Neither censored nor edited. Deal.