ÚÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ÚÙ À¿ À¿ 3 ³ ÚÙ À¿ ³ ßßßßßß ßßßßßß À¿ ³ ³ | À¿ ßß ßß ßß ßß ³ \/ÄÄ \ / / ÚÙ ßßßßßß ßß ßß ßß ßßß ASCii byÚÙ ÚÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄ¿ ³ ßß ßß ßß ßß ßß [MaF] ³ ³þ³ ³þ ³ \ ßß ßßßßß ßßßßßß À¿ ÀÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÙ \ ÀÂ/ \ PuD Volume 3, Issue xx ÚÄÙ Ú´ \ [PUD_3_x.TXT] ÚÙ Ú´ \ ÚÙ ÚÙ³ ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÙ ÚÄÂÂÄÙ ³ \ ÚÄ¿ ³ WWiV 2506@36 - NC ÚÙ ÚÄÄÙ ÀÙ ÚÄÙ \ ³ ÀÄÄ WWiV 2506@14 - Baphomet ³ÛÛ ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ \ ÚÄ¿ ³ ÀÄÄÄÙ ³ Ú¿ ÚÄÙ ³ ³ Bless THIS: ³ ³³ ÚÙ ³ ³ .ùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùùù. ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³À¿ ÚÙ ³ ³ : `Whine, whine, whine, whine,: ³ Yep; that's a llama. ³ ÚÄÙ ³ ÀÄÄÄÙ ÚÄÙ ³ : whine, whine, whine." : ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÙ ÀÄÄÄÙ : - Bentley : : : ù.............................ù þ Something Worth Reading "Agony Column" by Barry N. Malzburg Gentlemen: I enclose my short story, "Three For the Universe," and know you will find it right for your magazine, _Astounding Spirits_. Yours very truly, Martin Miller Dear Contributer: Thank you for your recent submission. Unfortunately, although we have read it with great interest, we are unable to use it in _Astounding Spirits_. Due to the great volume of submissions we receive, we cannot grant all contributers a personal letter, but you may be sure that the manuscript has been reviewed carefully and its rejection is no comment upon its literary merit but may be dependant upon one of many other factors. Faithfully, The Editors Dear Editors: The Vietnam disgrace must be brought to an end! We have lost on that stained soil not only our national honor but our very future. The troops must be brought home and we must remember that there is more honor in dissent than in unquestioningly silent agreement. Sincerly, Martin Miller Dear Sir: Thank you for your recent letter to the Editors. Due to the great volume of worthy submissions we are unable to print every good letter we receive and therefore regretfully inform you that we will not be publishing it, this is no comment upon the value of your opinion. Very truly yours, The Editors Dear Congressman Forthwaite: I wish to bring your attention to a serious situation which is developing on the West Side. A resident of this neighborhood for five years now, I have recently observed that a large number of streetwalkers, dope addicts and criminal types are loitering at the intersection of of Columbus Avenue and 124th Street at almost all hours of the day, offending passers-by with their appearance and creating a severe blight on the area. In addition, passers-by are often threateningly asked for "handouts" and even "solicited." I know that you with me share a concern for a Better West Side and look forward to your comments on this situation as well as some kind of concrete action. Sincerely, Martin Miller Dear Mr. Millow: Thank you for your letter. Your concern for our West Side is appreciated and it is only through the efforts and diligence of constituents such as yourself that a Better New York can be conceived. I have forwarded your letter to the appropriate precinct office in Manhatten and you may expect to hear from them soon. Gratefully yours, Alwyn d. Forthwaite Dear Gentlemen: In May of this year I wrote Congressman Alwyn D. Forthwaite a letter of complaint, concerning conditions on the Columbus Avenue-West 124th Street intersection in Manhatten and was informed ny him that this letter was passed onto your precinct office. Since four months have now elapsed and since I have neither heard from you nor observed any change in the conditions pointed out in my letter, I now write to ask whether or not that letter was forwarded by you and what you have to say about it. Sincerely, Martin Miller Dear Mr. Milner: Our files hold no record of your letter. K. B. Karsh Captain, #33462 Dear Sirs: I have read Sheldon Novack's article in the current issue of _Cry_ with great interest but feel that I must take issue with his basic point, which is that sex is the consuming biological drive from which all other activities stem and which said other activities become only metamorphical for. This strikes me as a bit more of a projection of Mr. Novack's own functioning than that reality which he so shrewdly contends he appreceives. Sincerely, Martin Miller Dear Mr. Milton: Due to the great number of responses to Sheldon A. Novack's "Sex and Sexuality; Are We Missing Anything?" in the August issue of _Cry_, we will be unable to publish your own contribution in our Cry from the City column, but we do thank you for your interest. Yours, The Editors Dear Mr. President: I was shocked by the remarks apparently attributed to you in today's newspaper on the public assistance situation. Surely, you must be aware of the fact that social welfare legislation emerged from the compassionate attempt of 1930 politics to deal with human torment in the systematized fashion and although many of the crueltiess you note are inherent to the very system, they do not cast doubt upon its very legitimacy. Our whole national history has been one of coming to terms with collective consciousness as opposed to the law of the jungle, and I cannot understand how you could have such a position as yours. Sincerely, Martin Miller Dear Mr. Meller: Thank you very muchg for your letter of October 18th to the President. We appreciate your interest and assure you that without the concern of citizens like yourself the country would not be what it has become. Thank you very much and we do look forward to hearing from you in the future on matters of national interest. Mary L. McGinnity Presidential Assistant Gentlemen: I enclose herewith my article, "Welfare: Are We Missing Anything?" which I hope you you may find suitable for publication in _Insight Magazine_. Very truly yours, Martin Miller Dear Contributer: The enclosed has been carefully reviewed and our reluctant decision is that it does not quite meet our needs at the present time. Thank you for your interest in _Insight_. The Editors Dear Senator Partch: Your vote on the Armament Legislation was shameful. Sincerely, Martin Miller Dear Dr. Mallow: Thank you for your recent letter to Senator O. Stuart Partch and for your approval of the Senator's vote. L. T. Walters Congressional Aide Dear Susan Saltis: I think your recent decision to pose nude in that "art-photography" series in _Men's Companion_ was disgraceful, filled once again with those timeless, empty rationalizations of the licentious which have so little intrinsic capacity for damaga except when they are subsumed, as they are in your case, with abstract and vague "connections" to platitudes so enormous as to risk the very demolition of the ] collective personality. Yours very truly, Martin Miller Dear Sir: With pleasure and in answer to your request, we are enclosing a photograph of Miss Susan Sultis as she appears in her new movie, "Chariots to the Holy Roman Empire." Very truly yours, Henry T. Wyatt Publicity Director Gentlemen: I wonder if _Cry_ would be interested in the enclosed article which is not so much an article as a true documentary of the results which have been obtained from my efforts over recent months to correspond with various public figures, entertainment stars, etc., etc. It is frightening to contemplate the obliteration of self which the very devices of the 20th Century compel, and perhaps you readers might share my (not so retrospective) horror. Sincerely, Martin Miller Dear Sir: As a potential contributer to _Cry_ I am happy to offer you our "Writer's Subscription Discount" meaning that for only $5.50 you will receive not only a full year's subscription to (28% below newsstand rates, 14% below customary subscriptions) but in addition our year-end special issue, "Cry in the Void" at no extra charge. Subscription Dept. Dear Contributer: Thank you very much for your article, "Agony Column." It has been considered here with great interest and it is the concensus of the Editorial Board that while it has unusual merit it is not quite right for us. We thank you for your interest in _Cry_ and look forward to seeing more of your work in the future. Sincerely, The Editors Dear Congressman Forthwaite: Nothing has been done about the conditions I mentioned in my letter of about a year ago. Not one single thing! Bitterly, Martin Miller Dear Mr. Mills: Please accept our aqpologies for the delay in answering your good letter. Congressman Forthwaite has been involved, as you know, through the winter in the Food Panel and has of necessity allowed some of his important correspondence to await close attention. Now that he has the time he thanks you for your kind words of support. Yours truly, Ann Ananauris Dear Sir: The Adams multiple-murders are indeed interesting not only for their violence but because of the confession of the accused that he "did it so that someone would finally notice me." Any citizen can understand this - the desperate need to be recognized as an individual, to break past bureaucracy into some clear apprehension of one's self-worth, is one of the most basic human drives, but I am becoming increasingly frustrated today by a technocracy which allows less and less latitude for the individual to articulate hids identity and vision to be heard. Murder is easy; it is easy in the sense that the murderer does not need to embark upon an arduous course of training in order to accomplish his feat; his excess can come from the simple extension of sheer human drives... aided by basic weoponry. The murderer does not have to cultivate "contacts" or "fame" but can simply, by being /there/, vault past nihilism and into some clear, cold connection with the self. More and more the capacity for murder lurks within us; we are narrow and driven, we are almost obliterated from any sense of existence, we need to make that singing leap past accomplishment and into acknowledgement and /recognition/. Perhaps you would print this letter? Hopefully, Martin Miller Dear Sir: Thank you for your recent letter. We regret being unable to use it due to many letters of similar nature being received, but we look forward to your expression of interest. Sincerely, John Smith, for the Editors Dear Mr. President: I intend to assassinate you. I swear that you will not live out the year. It will come by rifle or knife, horn or fire, dread or terror but it will come and there is no way you can AVOID THAT JUDGEMENT TO BE RENDERED UPON YOU. Fuck You, Martin Miller Dear Reverend Mellbow: As you know, the President is abroad at the time of the writing but you may rest assured that upon his return your letter, along with thousands of other and similar expressions of hope, will be turned over to him and I am sure that he will appreciate your having written. Very truly yours, Mary L. McGinnity Presidential Assistant þ K0LBeRT KiD I would, if you do not mind, like to take a moment to recognize K0LBeRT KiD as quite possibly the densest, lamest, saddest, sorriest excuse for a multi-cellular organism that I know of. People such as K0LBeRT KiD only go to show that pot is indeed harmful; that it does truly make you an ingrown hair on the fat, sweaty ass of society. APPLES! þ Blue light specials In this world of ours there are many arts; but very few are so intriguing that they even begin to peer with the art of ransacking somebody's apartment while they are out of town. The concept and description is simple, but there are many key elements, factors, that must be present for your ransacking to be successful and bountiful. - The person must be out of town, visiting friends in a neighboring state - The person must be on the verge of moving out of the apartment; so much as to he has already begun packing - The person must be an acquantaince, but not a friend - You must of worked with this person at some time or another - This person must trust you - This person must never even begin to ponder if you would ever do such a thing - For suspense and thrills, you mustn't know when this person is supposed to come back home Such "borrowing" of another's possessions usually yields positive results. Think about. With a little finesse, and a K_RaD KiLLER ANaRCHY Du0D attitude, you are well on your way to receiving free TVs, Segas, VCR's, and imitation lead crystal vases. þ Real Mail Why would we include real mail, when we included well over 250 lines of fake mail which was more intellectually stimulating and entertaining than the real thing? Honestly, people; can you justify your wanton lust for some measly, slowly-typed, superficial and mindless drivel which is no more than a waste of bytes and download credit? Can you allow yourself to stoop so low that you find it sickly amusing to pry in to thought received by and intended for a sole individual? Can you begin to perceive how disgusting and repulsive you sniveling, snotty leeches are? Do you understand the phrase, moreover proverb and aphorism, "YOU SUCK?" Thank you for taking the time to read this, for it shows not only how you agree with what I view you as, but also shows that you both do not have anything better to do with your worthless existance, and you unconsciously beg to be humiliated and embarrassed by those who do not hesitate to tell you who you are. You kept reading. DAMN, YOU SUCK. þ Congieniality PuD has been determined the leader in audience congienality by _Newsweek_, _Time_, and _Highlights for Children_. Special thanks go to fReD for discovering this little-known fact for us. þ News, n00z - Contrary to popular belief here in Alabama, General Robert E. Lee surrendered yo Ulysses S. Grant in 1865 at the Appomattox Courthouse, at Appomattox, Alabama. - The new Mr. Bronwstone alias does not have a period. Buggs Bunny has been deleted. - The official name of Project/X is now... "Used To Be Visions Of Chrome Before It Was Hit By A Virus" (That's utbVOCbiwhbav, for short.) - Street Fighter ][: Oh.... Nevermind. - End PuD v3i2 - "Sometimes, I wish I could be selectively deaf." - NC @Jeff's þ Contact Us. All submissions and E/Mail will be mentioned, included, or ignored; so what's there to lose? NC 2506@36 WWiVN BTLK 2506@14 WWiVN TBLT EvenInGWaReZ Dept, Dollar General TS0S Sneed fReD Attica Mooga From sea to oily sea <*** This Is The End o' The File, As We Know It. ***>