PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC _____ _____ ______ _____ PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC / _ /\ / _ /\ /_ __/\ / ___/\ PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC / ___/ // ___/ /_\/ /\_\// /\__\/ PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC /_/\__\//_/\__\//_____/\ /____/\ PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC \_\/ \_\/ \_____\/ \____\/ PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC-PPiC PRESENTS: Barney Bashing First, let me start this off by telling you the truth about Barney. Barney is really a cross-dressing, child-molesting, rump-ranger. Now, stop RIGHT here. If you have never watched this show, don't. You must be prepared first. Barney's show is packed with subliminals. I played his show backwards once, to find that it said "You will obey my every suggestion. You will take that knife out of the door. GOOD, children. Now, take your potty-thing, and shove up right up your mom's poopy-thing, real hard. What? You don't have a potty-thing? Your daddy does. Go take that knife and borrow his." I'm not kidding, people. Barney went major loco after Baby Bop turned him down for the 14th time. What would you expect from a guy who won't appear until all the adults are gone? Because if they are there, they would see Barney carefully slipping his "potty-thing" into all the little kiddies backstage. Now. Getting rid of this menace to society. Ever wanted to be on television? Well, I'm sure Barney would LOVE it if the gang drove the boom car up inside the stage, and played "Sir Psycho Sexy" at 192 decibels... What? You have no friends? Well, I bet you that some Saturday nights that Baby Bop looks pretty damn good. Barney would get REAL jealous were you to... say... rape her on stage? No, no. The kids love this. Violence is cool! (With ONE exception. The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. They will be covered in a later issue) Just look at what a hit the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were! Now, you can't TELL me that they didn't get some GOOD pussy from April. A good example was the kids who attacked him in that certain parade. You don't like him? Well, Mr. Tough Guy, go beat the fuk out of him! That's right, go beat the fuk out of him. Pull his fukn underwear off so everyone knows just what the hell he really is. Beat him with a pipe. And when he grabs you and screams "GODDAMN KID! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" you can BET that none of the mommies will let their kiddies watch Barney anymore. ---- Need to form an opinion based on his show? WEll, prepare yourself first. My way is to down about 5 Beck's. Now, you may be saying, "Wait! Doesn't alcohol make you MORE suggestive?" Absolutely not. Beer and Satan don't mix. (I have proven this. Try getting drunk, and going to a party where they play Black Sabbath all night. You will have one FUKN HUGE headache the next morning.) Next thing to do? Sing Barney parodies. This will make you take him less seriously. Here is a list of some of my favorites. I hate Barney Barney hates me Let's tie Barney to a tree Hold an Uzi up to his head Pull the trigger, oops, he's dead. I love Barney, Barney hates me Barney gave me HIV With lots of shots And a condom every day Don't you know that Barney's gay I hate Barney Barney hates me Go tie Barney to a tree With a great big gun and an arrow through the head Aren't you glad that Barney's dead I watch Barney every night {I invented this one. Don't go taking credit} Barney is the Antichrist With a 666 tattooed on his dick Damn that Barney sure is sick I hate Barney Barney hates me I shot Barney in the knee THen I shot him in the head and he fell to the floor. No more purple dinosaur! Sing these each 5 times. Then, you will hate the fucking tune so much the subliminals won't affect you.. If anyone has some creative ways to kill Barney, or some ]<-RaD wayz to kill him, e-mail me at 29A. ------------- Shouts go out to: PhantomNet - for inspiring this halfway decent file CT of A.W.O.L. - for introducing me to PhantomNet Johnny Clown - for introducing me to CT -Scourge <------------------------------------------------------------------------------> Everything below this line is truth <------------------------------------------------------------------------------> Everything above this line is bullshit Copyright 1994 PPiC -Phose Phree -N- iNNER CIRCLE 29A 6i6-781-1177 !HOME SITE! 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