>From Aylott@world.std.com Fri Jan 28 10:16:38 EST 1994 LEGION OF BITTER ALUMNI #6 -- The Online Edition -- November 26, 1993 In this Issue . . . EDITORIAL RANTS -- "A Humble Editorial Welcome with Very Little Ranting, Really" by Chris Aylott "Red Iguana Over China" -- by Jon Young "Virtual Gibson" -- by Arielle Kagan and Shawn Masters ON BEING A MINOR FIVE-STAR GENERAL #4: -- "Everything I Learned, I Learned in Third Reich", by Jon Howard RANTS AND RAVES #3: -- "Spammin'" by Tom Janulewicz "Politics, Economics & Role-Playing: How to Design and Run a Fantasy RPG World" -- by Bill Ayres Review: GURPS Vampire: the Masquerade -- by Tom Tomlinson "Archetypes and Comic Books: The Fall of the X-Men" -- by Becky Teed "Can't Take Trek? Try This" -- by Toby Elliott Reprint: "What's REALLY Happening with Star Trek:Voyager. No, Really!" -- from an Internet post by Keith Loh Reprint: "My Trek is Better than Your Trek" -- from America On-Line's "Dateline: Starfleet #39", by Dayton Ward --------------------------------------------------------------------------- EDITORAL RANTS: "A Humble Editoral Welcome with Very Little Ranting, Really" by Chris Aylott Welcome to the first electronic issue of Legion of Bitter Alumni! Our story so far: first, you see, there was this Federation peacefully exploring the galaxy, and one of its finest captains was the charismatic young James T. Kirk. But he got old and fat and his toupee was much more obvious than in the TV series, so they came up with a young crew led by a Frenchman who wasn't ashamed to be bald. But the new crew was boring, because everybody got along and nobody had personalities, much less personality problems. So they came up with a new crew, and while the Starfleet people in the crew are still squeaky clean, there's some reasonably -- interesting -- people to keep them on their toes... that's not it, is it? OK, you see, Brenda and Dylan were crazy at each other at first sight, but her father didn't like him, so they ran away and the father became controller of Dylan's trust when Dylan's mother. . . and then there's Kelly . . . um . . . Once more. There were these silly college students who formed a roleplaying organization and called it the Williams Association of RolePlayers, and they decided to have a newsletter called "WARPfactor". And it was good, if occasionally irregular, and rapidly progressed form MacWrite, scissors and glue to Pagemaker and even a review by Steve Jackson, who thought we were very silly people. But all good college students had to graduate, as did one of the original "WARPfactor" editors (who wasn't particularly good but wasn't bad enough to get thrown out, either) and he got bored sitting around in his meager excuse of a life. So he went out, got "Express Publisher" (never wanting to see glue and scissors again -- shudder), and harassed all his friends and made them write stuff to put in it. He's managed to successfully harass them on a quarterly basis ever since, and so there became the paper edition of "Legion of Bitter Alumni", the Melrose Place to "WARPfactor"'s 90210. Same plot-lines, but "Legion" writers take off their shirts. And it came to pass that your humble editor heard about the formation of the Metaverse, finally got himself an Internet account, and realized he could inflict tortured prose on a much wider potential audience. You've got the results in your virtual hands. Same "Legion", new format. Submissions welcome. Enjoy. Legion of Bitter Alumni is a product of Blue Vial Comics, which is to be found at the real world address of 190 Holland St. #1, Somerville, MA 02144, the virtual reality address of 190 Henson Street in Steve Jackson Games' Metaverse (metaverse.io.com), or the Compuserve address of 70641.2064@compuserve.com. Submissions, comments and/or monetary donations are happily accepted, and I like submissions and comments best. Excerpting or copying Legion is fine as long as you give credit. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Red Iguana Over China" by Jon Young BEIJING, CHINA --Well, it's official. My life has dwindled to the point where I have no recourse but to write for Legion. Somehow I always expected that there'd be more perks after ascension to the hallowed ranks of Fat-Old-Alumni (TM) -- I don't even get discounts at fine-dining-establishments-in-my-local-area for crying out loud. I also almost achieved my Buddha nature right after I got here when one of my new friends said "Oh, you went to William and Mary!" Sometimes you just have to cry. Every once in a while, I have to stop and ask myself what I'm doing out here. I'm at least 6800 miles from Nick's Roast Beef (TM), the pay is laughable and the workload can be bruising, so why have I left the warm and fuzzy confines of the Purple Valley for the closest thing we have left to an Evil Empire? (This must be where they go between Trivias.) Well, like the rest of you, I was brutally cast out of paradise into the cruelty that we alumni-types like to call the world. Some of us just got cast a bit farther than others, that's all. Upon closer inspection, China is pretty cool (we had a foot of snow yesterday -- scratch that it's freezing)! The gaming scene, predictably, sucks Janulewiczian weasel spit (TM) as does the ability of my students to understand our twisty friend -- no, not Aylott -- the WARP/Williams dialect. I suppose it must be some kind of omen that during the first get-to-know-each-other meeting at the Foreign Languages Department, someone said "Oh, Jonathan, you have some mail" and pulled out Legion #5, which had cleverly been mailed several days before I left. Trying to explain Legion to a bunch of relatively mundane-types that I will have to work with for the next year, in Chinese no less, was not exactly the way I had envisioned starting out the new year. Many things here are basically the same, gravity for one, but in most respects China's #1 university (they keep a list) is completely different from Billsville. The entire student body of Williams could likely find useful employment here as additional omnipresently decorative gate guards without anyone noticing (heaven knows we have enough trouble finding jobs in the States). Stacked six to a room, we wouldn't even take up a full dormitory. The campus is, to put it mildly, bloody large. With a couple of bustling markets, several restaurant/karaoke bars, a post office, two banks (neither of which deal in foreign exchange); a personal nuclear reactor simulator that they seem reluctant to let me play with, a swimming pool that foreigners are not allowed to swim in and two 20+ story high rises, the campus alone is better equipped than Williamstown. Then again, so is your average Eagle Scout, but with with the wall surrounding the campus, it seems an appropriate James-Bond-supervillian hideout (sans Fred). The academic system is a bit different as well. I'm not sure how well we would have responded to mandatory 6 AM outdoor aerobic workouts (well, I am sure how one of us would have reacted . . .). Williams teacher and class evaluations are a bit tame by local standards; after each semester, students complete a questionnaire evaluating their classmates' (those from the same department anyway) moral character and work habits. Call me cynical but I don't know if our perpetually blissful contentment with each other would allow us to match the near universal conspiracy to simply give each other perfect score each time. Luckily, as a teacher I am exempt from almost all of that. I have my own room in the foreign student's dormitory with an included bathroom (rent-free and occasional hot water). I don't have to do the exercise, which is a good thing, (neither do the graduate students) and I only have to report someone if I feel like it. As some other Williams veterans no doubt have noticed, teaching classes differs from taking classes in several key aspects. Perhaps the one with the most immediate effect on me personally is that there is a somewhat larger stigma attached to simply sleeping in. I suppose it couldn't go on forever. In some ways, classes here take after the old Pasachoff model - I only record grades and scores so I can tell the department if one of the students should not get the traditional 87. Still, there is more than enough work to keep one busy out here. The other teachers, understandably, want a chance to practice English with native speakers and, like clockwork, one of them comes by every time I visit the office to try to get me to edit a textbook or record a tape for them. I think they have worked out some kind of schedule and are tracking my movements. Teaching basic English to graduate students can be wacky on its own rights of course. I just finished correcting a series of basic compositions where the assignment was to present the basic advantages and disadvantages of automobiles; pretty tame stuff really. One set of papers was full of wild technical descriptions of engine internals and (largely correct) terms I had to look up. I checked my records and sure enough, that was the class of students going for Ph.D.'s from the department of Automobile Engineering. They have some of the best departments here, anyone for a Precision Instruments degree? How about Air-Conditioning Systems? No History department, but we do have English majors. It's funny though, they don't seem to have as much trouble getting jobs. (Go GO Gadget Toby!) The social scene, such as it is, is better than I had expected. There aren't all that many foreigners around, but one has a son who attends the international school and so therefore has access to the library. We have worked out a deal: he brings me SF to read and I let him play Civilization. If I could only cure him of Xanth, I'd be in business. After attending a big foreigner get-together, I have achieved my highest honor to date -- egg-toss champion of Beijing. (It's the sport of the 90's -- look for it at WARPCon II, sometime that's not all that soon!) There is also an amusement park in central Beijing that has largely been imported from the States, complete with genuine products of the Tilt-A-Whirl (TM) company. It seems, however, that they sent the rides with instructions in Chinese only so that when preparing the bilingual signs a local re-translation had to be made. This has resulted in a huge sign in front of the rollercoaster touting the virtues of China's first, largest and most exciting "Loop and Screw Ride!" In short, life here is (at least for now) wacky enough on its own that the lack of many of the, ummm, special features of western society hasn't been too much of a problem so far. Even if it does become a problem, it is possible to find some things out here. I had great fun watching Robotech in Chinese (sadly I missed Macross) and even stumbled upon Supergirl, dubbed and cut into ten 20 minute episodes. Try explaining that to six of your students who had come over for spaghetti and donuts. Paintball, alas, is nowhere to be found but in a burst of capitalist fervor there is an army unit outside of Beijing that allows foreigners (for a reasonable fee in foreign currency) to exercise on their base with their weapons and live ammunition. (Automatic weapons and rocket launchers even -- when shall I expect you, Ed?) It's amazing what can happen in a system without the basic concept of a lawsuit. I have not checked this out personally yet, but if winter gets long . . . --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Virtual Gibson" By Arielle Kagan and Shawn Masters William Gibson appeared at Olsson's Books in Washington, DC this August, reading, signing and otherwise promoting his recent novel Virtual Light. He attracted several hundred people, ranging from fortyish men in business suits to young teenagers in grunge to Karl Galle '91. Gibson emerged from the back room after the crowd had wedged itself into every nook of the bookstore, accompanied by his manager, his manager's girlfried and a few store employees. He wore black, was rather hunched over and quickly settled behind a Powerbook 170 lent to him by his publisher to pull his manuscript up. "Hmmm..." he said. "It's got a clock thing now . . . clock's still there . . . just have to get this file up". Cutting-edge cyberpunk writer William Gibson can barely use a computer, let alone program virtual reality scenarios. The manuscript was finally loaded, however, and Gibson began to read. Virtual Light revolves around the theft of a pair of virtual reality glasses. While the setting is closer to contemporary than Neuromancer and its related stories, the excerpts read suggest the book is still replete with anecdotes, advanced technology and creative wordings. Gibson describes a cryogenically preserved brain, wrapped in tinfoil and looking "like a baked potato". The protaganist is told he resembles Tommy Lee Jones, and Gibson immediately segues into an explanation of how the police search for suspects. Showing a photograph of a suspect is old hat -- the police of Virtual Light run the suspect's picture through a computer, analyze its similarity to pictures of celebrities, then ask people if they've seen a man who resembles celebrity A, B or C. This leads the protagonist to suggest that there is a lobe of the brain which keeps track of celebrities . . . A question and answer session followed the reading. The answers according to Gibson: How did you and Bruce Sterling collaborate on The Difference Engine? The entire book was written on "a stack of floppies and some old Apple computers". Gibson and Sterling would pass the disks back and forth between them -- one would write for a while and give the disks to the other, who would write on the same disks over the previous work. The book never existed as a hard-copy draft, and if a favorite section was overwritten, it would have to be reconstructed from scratch if at all. Do you get the ideas for your settings from living in places, visiting them, or wanting to go to them? "All of the above," says Gibson, adding that his writing was influenced heavily by the music he listened to at the time -- this explained the number of Steely Dan references in Neuromancer. . . Do you care about ripoffs of your work? Not much, apparently. Gibson said he felt it was something that goes along with capitalism in general. He wasn't at all upset by the Neuromancer comics, and seemed pleased by how quickly Agrippa had been decoded and placed on the Net. Gibson even encouraged the audience to take advantage of the current economic atmosphere, go along with this capitalist trend, and come up with more ripoffs. What about the rumors of a Neuromancer movie? While there has been considerable speculation on the Net about a possible movie (rumors of Swarzenegger or Rutger Hauer in lead roles abound, along with suggestions -- please, no -- of Winona Ryder as Molly), Gibson expressed doubt that any such movie would be out in the near future. It was unclear whether he felt such a production would be a while in the making or whether he doubted it would be made at all. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ON BEING A MINOR FIVE-STAR GENERAL "Everything I Learned, I Learned in Third Reich" by Jon Howard Yet again, I'm going to not review a wargame. Aylott sent me a suggestion for a great column, which I using here. (Flattery will get you printed . . . -- ed.) Basically, the idea is: so playing wargames is great fun, yeah yeah. Is that it? Nope. What you learn in wargames is applicable to Real Life. Let me give you some examples. 1: Wargame tactics are useful in other games. For instance, Kirsten and I were recently given Pool of Radiance, a computer AD&D game and a good one, at that. In it, the PCs' party frequently goes up against hordes of orcs, goblins, etc -- I've seen 50 on 6 and worse. In those encounters, wargaming tactics are necessary to keep your party from being squished. You need to think about flanking maneuvers, combined arms (magic and swords), reserves (both keeping people back and keeping an eye on your hit points), protection of fragile artillery (magic-users), and so on. So? I said Real Life up above. 2: In wargames, you always want a reserve force to plug a hole in your line if something goes wrong. That's why the US Army sets up its units in threes, as in three battalions in a regiment -- two move forward and one is held in reserve. When you run out of reserves, you run out of luck. Same in real life. If you have an unexpected expense, it's much better to have a financial reserve to deal with it rather than scramble to find some way of putting it off. The people who live paycheck to paycheck are the ones in trouble (uh oh -- ed.). How many times did something interrupt your studying at Williams? It was a good idea to schedule more time to studying than it would actually require, just in case. 3: Your plan may look perfect and feel perfect, but something will go wrong with it. Your crack elite Guards unit will flail on that 5-1 attack. Your weapon will jam right when you need it. You'll mess up the movement of units and leave the tanks stuck behind the infantry. The armor will take a little too long to arrive (Arnheim on the Western Front). The enemy's crack elite Guards unit will be right where you don't want it to be. Something will go wrong. Whether or not you are prepared for that wrong thing to happen sometimes determines how well it will turn out. 4: It's not as bad as it seems. Your situation may look bad to you, but your opponent's position looks equally as bad to him/her. Once I played a game where I found myself in a miserable position at the end of turn two. I was sure my opponent was about to pound my entire line and probably break it. After studying the board, my opponent announced that his position was so bad that he was going to concede. This is a result of #3 -- things may go badly for you, but they will go just as badly for the other person. There's a corollary to this. Assuming your opponent will find himself in dire straits, you might think that means you should "nail him whenever possible". Well, yes, but just enough to ensure a win. After all, you'll probably be playing against the same person again. If you pound on someone when you don't really have to, they'll remember. 5: Sometimes an "advance in the opposite direction" is your best bet. Know when to you have to back off. If your carrier battle group in a game of Harpoon (Three-Sixty Pacific, Inc) is being destroyed in the North Sea, pull it back to the North Atlantic. If a bulge in your line is guarded by weak forces, pull it back or it'll get chewed off (the Kursk pocket on the Eastern Front). Know when to give in and retreat. 6: Better yet, don't get into it in the first place. Operation Barbarossa has inspired Eastern Front wargame designers for years, but it was still a stupid move for Hitler. If you have infantry force and your enemy has tanks, find some good terrain and hide -- don't try to take on 5-inch thick armor with people wearing 1/10-inch thick shirts. In real life, be very careful what you go after. 7: Finally, a surprise move can be very effective. In May 1940, the Germans took out Belgium's strongest fort with 80 men and a lot of explosives. They would have been cut to pieces walking up to the fort and attacking, so they didn't. They landed on it with gliders, and the Belgians were caught flat-footed. The surprise frequently wins. Update on Blitzkrieg: after additional playtesting, Andrew and I have decided Red has a definite advantage in the game. The Red side won all three games we've played. Something to keep in mind when you play it . . . Anybody up for a game of Third Reich? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- RANTS AND RAVES #3: -- "Spammin'" By Tom Janulewicz Spammin': To speak aimlessly on a mishmash of topics. To stuff someone's brain with information of questionable content. -- Wired 1.6 Road to Nowhere Hanging on the wall in the guest bathroom of my father's house is a plaque upon which is written the introduction to Steinbeck's Travels with Charley. It reads: "When I was young and the urge to be somewhere else was upon me . . . I fear the disease is incurable." I used to read this passage every day during my morning ablutions. Of course, as anyone who has seen me first thing in the morning will attest, any distraction would be better than having to meet my reflection before its decently shaved, showered and dosed with coffee. The words came back to me, however as I was preparing for my own travels. I recently realized that for the time being Boston is not the place for me. The last three months of job hunting have brought very few nibbles and I can't get most Temp agencies to give me the time of day. This leaves me feeling incredibly passive, so I decided to take action. Decisive action. Man of the Nineties action. I'm going on vacation (Technically, I suppose it's a business trip. I've sent out a number of resumes and I'm bringing some suits just in case any of the nice bureaucratic drones to whom I've written want an interview.) Whatever inscrutable Eastern sage opined that "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" never had to deal with Amtrak, by the way. The journey of a thousand miles begins with numerous telephone calls, the making of reservations, packing, a few more phone calls, and the outlay of a considerable amount of capital. So much for sages. All well and good, but what does all this have to do with the winds of relevance which swept through the comics world some twenty years ago? Good question. Not bloody much, really. It has almost but not quite nothing to do with quests and finding oneself on the road, which is what I want to discuss . . . In 1970, Dennis O'Neil and Neal Adams brought Social Relevance to the world of superheroes with Green Lantern #76. Until then, the threats of the four-color world were fairly safe -- caricatured criminal scum, rogues' galleries and losers with really silly powers, with Supernatural and Alien Menaces for spice. O'Neil and Adams changed it all. They realized that simple menaces in costumes were insufficient to a generation that had just weathered the social erosion of the 1960's. The creators and many of the older comics readers of the day were disillusioned with the gentleman (and rare gentlewoman) criminals that the costumed heroes of the day routinely fought. On those rare occasions when the metahuman gods came down to earth to break up a mugging, this was generally presented as a clear-cut case of CRIME, with no thought given to the social factors leading to such desperate acts. The early seventies readers who had been exposed to doses of liberal social theory were beginning to find this problematic. O'Neil and Adams' solution was to take two characters and explore the American social landscape through their experiences. Comics publication is a business like any other -- the characters they chose were, shall we say, low risk (Green Lantern's title was suffering from low sales, and Green Arrow had spent years as filler material in the back of established characters' titles). GL was the ultimate space cop and voice of the establishment; Green Arrow was a hot-headed anarchist, and Green-Lantern #76 put them in a battered pick-up truck, and sent them off to look for America. To put this in context, imagine Pat Buchanan and Jerry Brown taking a road-trip and stopping along the way to fight crimes and experience angst. As they traveled, the Emerald Warriors encountered menaces more insidious than any they had ever faced. The message was quite simple, really. They looked into the face of true evil and found that it did not often wear bright spandex or devise cunning yet ultimately flawed death traps. True evil is subtle. It has lots of money. It has guns and armies of hired thugs. It evicts little old ladies and forces children to steal to keep their families off the streets. It makes chemical abuse glamorous and drives rifts between fathers and sons. It exists in the greed of large corporations and can poison the heart of even the most stalwart hero. And rings of power and trick arrows are often insufficient to the task of overcoming it. Despite my best efforts, I do not have a power ring of my own, and revealing the true face of evil is less important to me than getting my own ARBA team. I am on a quest of sorts, though. It is conceivable that my efforts will be successful and I will have to move to one of the cities I visit. I wouldn't want to end up somewhere that doesn't respond to my needs as a Bitter Alumni, so I'm going to scout out comic shops and gaming stores. The high point (preemptive pun fully intended) of this mission will be a pilgrimage to Mile High Comics in Denver, a Mecca of the four-color faithful. Tune in next issue for an account of my travels, but for now on to other matters. I've Got a Really Bad Feeling about This In recent press releases and prepublication hype ("Worlds will live. Worlds will die. Things will never be the same. No, really.") for their latest epic, Zero Hour, DC has used a couple of phrases which make this long-time and usually patient fan incredibly nervous. Phrase #1: "fix some of the continuity flaws of the DC Universe". Now wait just a minute here! As I recall, Crisis on Infinite Earths, was supposed to address all these niggling little continuity problems and get all of the superheroes back on track. All right, so the Crisis was an unmitigated disaster, the comics equivalent of letting the Three Stooges (or perhaps the Inferior Five) wallpaper your living room. For every inconsistency, the Crisis solved, others bubbled up. So just how is the second root canal going to help, doctor? Phrase #2: "the one, true Superman." Unless you've spent the past 18 months in a sensory deprivation tank, you probably realize that Superman "died" recently. After months of stories involving various pretenders to the big S, Clark Kent came back from the dead. Or so it seemed. The press releases for Zero Hour suggest that the current Superman is not the genuine article (which seems unlikely since there is strong evidence suggesting that Lois slept with the guy both before and after his "death") or there is another, truer Superman out there. It all seems to come back to the Crisis. Without getting too snarled in the various realities and timelines, suffice it to say that at the end of the Crisis the "original" Superman (the first one, who debuted in 1936) was basically assumed into paradise. He passed through a gateway into a bright light, earned his reward, and the current young-enough-to-be-a-believable-eighties-and-nineties version of Superman took his place in continuity. Readers were meant to assume that the Golden Age Superman would never be seen again. As always in comics, though, nobody is ever dead till you've seen the body and even then it doesn't hurt to maintain a healthy dose of skepticism. It seems that the tenuous threads of the post-Crisis universe are about to be unraveled, big time. Look for the new DC corporate slogan, coming soon . . . "DC Comics -- If you thought it was confusing before, just wait!" Gratuitous Product Plug The kind folks at DC recently republished the Green Lantern-Green Arrow adventures in two Bookshelf editions entitled Hard Traveling Heroes and More Hard Traveling Heroes. They retail at $12.95 and are well worth the money. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Politics, Economics & Role-Playing: How to Design and Run a Fantasy RPG World" by Bill Ayres Can anyone tell I'm a budding academic? OK, OK, so I have been brainwashed into thinking that all titles should be long, wordy, have at least one trilogy of like words, and be separated in the middle by a colon. At least I know I've been brainwashed. To further demonstrate to you the extent of professional subjugation to which my brain has been exposed, I offer the following article in which my professional persona (political scientist) mind-dominates my fantasy RPG persona (player and GM). [I should note that I'm not the first one; anyone who has seen biologist Becky Teed's homemade orcs will recognize this trend right away . . .] Those who believe that RPGs and the real world should have absolutely nothing to do with each other should not read beyond this first paragraph. For those looking to add a little "realism" into their campaigns, however, read on . . . [Disclaimer: This article is not intended to be the final word on any subject it addresses, and any comments/criticisms that ignore this disclaimer will be summarily filed in the circular file.] Governmental Types and Fantasy Countries Almost every fantasy world we run into -- homemade or company-generated -- has countries that are more or less modelled on feudal Europe. This is not by any means a necessity; Tech Level 3 and Feudalism are not necessarily inevitably bound together. Many other possibilities exist: centralized empires (the Roman model comes to mind); localized city-state democracies (Ancient Greece); or decentralized clan systems (most of Africa for most of history). In addition, many GMs tend to run feudal monarchies as much more efficient than they really were. In practice, local feudal lords had a great deal of autonomy from the central monarchies they theoretically owed allegiance to, aside from paying the requisite taxes/tributes. In a world where magic (and therefore long-range, high-speed communication) exists, this could be changed, but such a development would tend to make the center much stronger, suggesting an imperial rather than a feudal model. Keep in mind, too, that rapid communications are one thing; rapid movement of troops is quite another, and any central autocracy attempting to exert control over a wide area will need not only the one, but the other as well. Peasants DO revolt, even in feudal systems (it happened several times in Europe), and a centralized government will either need to deal with them or have them slip away from central control. Fantasy World Economics When our PCs go gallivanting out into the fantasy realm, our usual first stop is into town to buy a bunch of stuff: armor, weapons, food, magic items (if we have a really nice GM . . .), etc. As 20th-century Americans, we have lived too long in a monetized society to remember that the world can be very different. In most feudal societies (indeed, in most societies prior to the Renaissance), money existed, but was not the primary means of exchange, nor did the vast majority of people possess much of it. Local economies in Middle Ages Europe were largely barter economies, with food being traded for other goods rather than for money. Furthermore, the accumulation of wealth other than by emperors, kings, and the like was extremely rare, because long-distance overland trade was not profitable except for very low-mass, high-value items (silks, spices), which tended to be luxuries bought only by the very rich. Almost all necessities of life were produced and exchanged locally, making money less necessary. This sort of system also meant that "prices" in money or barter goods could fluctuate wildly from place to place, since there was no market mechanism to bring them in line with each other. GMs should therefore not feel at all constrained by equipment lists that give "standard" prices, and neither should they put up with players who insist on getting the "standard" price for any given good. Most adventurers, regardless of their other motives, love to collect loot. There is nothing most of us like better than to enter a dragon's lair, slay the dragon (preferably without getting killed), and then sit around for several hours game time counting loot and revelling in how much we can buy for all this money. Aside from the relative rarity of such large accumulations of monetized wealth in pre-capitalist societies, the sudden acquisition of so much money and its almost inevitable introduction into a local economy is likely to have extremely significant effects, to whit: inflation. Even in the largest of cities, most basic goods are still being produced locally rather than being traded in from afar, and the amount of gold, silver, etc. in circulation is likely to be relatively small and confined most to the luxuries sector. PCs who wander into town with tens of thousands of gold pieces/silver farthings/platinum platidoos are likely to see prices skyrocket practically overnight. If the PCs enter a smaller town or village, the effect is likely to be even more pronounced. Finally, local rulers may very well become aware of these effects and their source, and may not take kindly to PCs disrupting the fabric of the local economy (a useful plot device if you HAVE to get your PCs out of town). Finally, all economic systems (and political ones, for that matter) evolve over time -- something you almost never see happen in most fantasy campaign worlds. Most FRPG world histories assume that the world has been the way it has been for a very long time, and is likely to remain that way forever. This is not, strictly speaking, historically accurate, in that feudal barter economies eventually gave way to centralized mercantilist societies which gave way (in some places) to capitalist democracy. This process is usually fueled, at least in part, by the development of technology which enables long-distance trade to become profitable, fostering both the development of a merchant middle class and the production of goods for export, not just local consumption. Which brings me to my next point . . . Technology, the Military and Development Most FRPG worlds pay very little attention to the development of technology over time. We all like to play in a world that is halfway between tech levels 3 and 4 (I'm using the GURPS TL system, because it's broadly descriptive and easy. Look it up if you have to . . .); we like swords, bows and axes to co-exist with full plate and crossbows (both inventions of the early renaissance). Military and transport technology don't stand still, however -- unless there's a very good reason why they should. In particular, most FRPG worlds (TSR's Forgotten Realms is, IMO, in egregious error in this realm) lightly toss off the development of gunpowder and gunpowder weapons, usually with the assertion that in a world of magic, who needs guns? Obviously, the people who can't use magic need them - which is the vast majority of the population in most fantasy worlds. It doesn't matter that magic is more efficient than early powder weapons (which were woefully inaccurate and more dangerous to user than target); crossbows were also more efficient, but were eventually replaced. My point is that if you're going to run a campaign world over a significant length of time (or even if you're going to write a history which encompasses a significant period of TL3/4), you have three ways of dealing with this question: 1) gunpowder DOES get invented, which will change the face of the campaign; 2) gunpowder never gets invented, more or less by accident (this is very unsatisfying); or 3) gunpowder, for whatever reason, doesn't work on your world (a la Roger Zelazny's Amber series). I am an ardent fan of the third option, but I wouldn't push it on anyone; I simply think that GMs should consider the question for ongoing campaigns. A related question is the effect of magic, particularly large-scale magic, on the conduct of warfare. Kenneth Hodges has written an excellent piece on this subject, so I will not attempt to improve on his thoughts. It was originally published on the Usenet group misc.games.rpg (I think), and could also probably be obtained by contacting Kenneth himself (I think he ought to publish it here . . .) Alternatively, I still have a copy, which I will happily distribute if I can get Ken's permission. International Affairs Most fantasy worlds have very few types of interactions between governmental units: war, war, and the occasional peace talks. Usually, wars are between good, righteous, diety-fearing countries (Veluna in the Greyhawk world, for instance) and those nasty, evil empires that everyone knows are bad (Thay in the Forgotten Realms is a good example). This makes for good moral fiction, and certainly fits well into D&D's "everyone must be good or evil" scheme, but more complex interactions are possible, even in a world with limited communications and transport. The most basic -- but entertaining -- of these is the "security spiral" problem. Two countries -- neither of which is evil or out to dominate the world -- exist side by side. One, for whatever reason (perhaps internal stability and order) decides to build up its military capabilities. The second country is very unlikely to view this in detached, objective terms, particularly if the buildup is taking place anywhere near its borders. The second country may respond in kind, which would trigger a counter-response in the first, and pretty soon -- hey presto! -- you've got an arms race and two countries looking very suspiciously at each other. Such situations can easily lead to war (or at least, border battles), which can create all sorts of interesting plots and decisions for your PCs (particularly if the PCs are astute enough to figure out that the two countries are going to war over nothing at all). This brings me to my final (yay!) point . . . The Importance of Perception in Politics Politics and economics are really nothing more than perception. Despite numerous commentaries to the contrary, very few things are truly objective in politics; it's all a matter of how you see them. Economics works essentially the same way, since money (even gold) is only worth something if people perceive it to hold value. Many fantasy realms not only lay out the "objective" situation of which worlds are good, which evil, etc.; they also assume that everyone knows all of this. But orcs don't HAVE to all be bad (see Becky Teed's orcs again) - although they may be PERCEIVED that way. Have fun with perceptions. What you tell your PCs doesn't have to be the truth; neither does what you tell your NPCs. Run this way, FRPG worlds can be much more complex, confusing, and (I believe) fun for all involved. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Review: GURPS Vampire: the Masquerade by Tom Tomlinson Imagine your life as it exists now. The people that you know -- whether you love, hate or are totally indifferent toward them -- the issues that are important to you, the daily routine of work or school. Now imagine that all of that is suddenly, brutally stripped away from you. You have experienced The Becoming, and you have joined the legion of the undead. Your previous life is rendered superfluous without allowing you time to make the psychological break. You are forced to adapt and leave everything that you have ever known behind -- if you can even survive the transformation with your mind intact. The stark brutality of this transformation and its impact of the psyche of the transformed is central to GURPS Vampire: the Masquerade (VTM), the Steve Jackson Games translation of the White Wolf system. Unlike horror or superhero systems where the vampire is either inherently evil or simply all-powerful, Jeff Koke's supplement is centered around human beings who have been transformed, but have not left their morality behind with their mortality. In VTM, the curse of Caine is a curse indeed. While Vampires do have powers and abilities beyond those of mortal men in VTM, they are not the demi-gods found in movies and most vampiric role-playing. We are confronted with an essentially human vampire -- a person who awakens and finds that she needs to consume human blood to survive. The world of the vampire is governed by two statistics: willpower and humanity. A character's humanity score ranges from 3 to 20, with all characters beginning with a twelve. Characters with humanities of 20 are essentially saints on earth awaiting their transformation back into actual humanity or perhaps something beyond. Those with a humanity of 3 have been reduced to such an animalistic state that they are no longer fit to be player characters. Reflecting the trials of the vampire life and the strength of an undead's bestial side, it is extremely easy to lose humanity points (for example, by killing someone when feeding, which is usually unnecessary) while very difficult to earn them. With the spectre of humanity loss hovering over him, will rolls are a constant companion for the VTM player. The character must regularly battle her inner demons and near-irresistible impulses, reflected in a variation of the Berserk disadvantage. Will is so important to the VTM system that Koke has divided it into four distinct sub-categories. These are: self-control (to prevent one's animalistic side from taking control), conscience (to retain one's all-important humanity), courage (to confront a vampire's fear of deadly fire and sunlight) and "normal" willpower (for everything else). The strong-will advantage must be purchased separately (at a reduced point cost) for each of these categories. The introspective nature of the vampire character tends to make the style of the campaign and the surroundings even more important than usual, and Koke devotes considerable effort to describing the "gothic-punk" atmosphere of the VTM world. The setting is contemporary, but in a world that has always been under the influence of the undead. The primary effect of the vampires' existence and tampering with world history is a cyberpunk-like atmosphere of despair. The presence of the Church has also been strengthened in this time of crisis, leading to a more Gothic influence. Several vampiric societies have sprung up through the ages, the strongest being the Camarilla. This is the de facto ruling body of vampiric society and is responsible for enforcing its laws. The most important and often all-consuming law is the Masquerade. Any vampire who exposes her true nature to a non-undead endangers the survival of all -- and forfeits her claims to continued existence. Remembering the brutal persecutions of the Inquisition, Elder vampires insist upon absolute secrecy and will hunt down and slay any who dare flaunt their nature to the world. Cities are a natural habitat for vampires, and they have developed a distinct social structure to handle territorial concerns. Each major city is governed by a Prince who functions as the vampiric mayor of the city. She is responsible for enforcement of the Masquerade and other vampiric laws within in the city, and all vampires who enter are required to present themselves to her. The Prince controls whether or not new vampires are created and whether a vampire should be allowed to move into the city -- vampiric overcrowding is beginning to become a problem. Political battles are commonplace within vampiric society, especially because the more powerful Elder vampires will eschew the oft-targeted position of Prince. While diablerie (vampire killing vampire) is a violation of ancient tradition, the prohibition only means vampires will tend to assassinate in secret rather than hold outright wars. The Elders also attempt to control recently-formed vampires for their own ends, chiefly protecting themselves. Although the undead are essentially immortal, they may be slain by sunlight, fire, or the claws and teeth of other undead creatures. Older vampires often live in fear of these things, having grown accustomed to their immortality. The power of a vampire is influenced by its "generation" -- the number of vampiric parents leading back to Caine, original bearer of the curse. Most player characters will be thirteenth generation. The difference between each generation is small, but vampires several generations older begin to seem like gods with their advanced powers. The basic vampire package itself is not overpowering, providing little besides the basics. A vampire is unaging, does not need to breathe or eat, and may use blood to heal herself. The most powerful advantage that all vampires share is Vampiric Invulnerability. Vampires almost ignore damage up to -HT, and survive indefinitely unless slain by one of the causes enumerated above. The other traditional powers of vampires are broken down into ten Disciplines, such as Animalism, Domination and Fortitude. Each Discipline allows a range of powers determined by the amount of points the vampire has placed into the Discipline. As with other GURPS magics, using the powers costs Fatigue. The range of Disciplines covers all the powers -- controlling animals and minds, supernatural strength, etc. -- normally associated with vampires by one mythos or another, but no one vampire will have all or even most of the powers available. Every vampire belongs to a clan inherited from the vampire who created them. While some are abandoned at formation and never even discover their clan, most new vampires are "raised" by their creator and taught the ways of vampiric society and their own clan. Membership in a clan defines a personality -- rather rigidly, at that (Koke ineffectively explains this as the selecting by clan members of similar personalities to transform), and each clan gives a predisposition toward command of three Disciplines. Players can purchase other disciplines outside their clan's aptitudes, but must do so at twice the normal cost. This rigidity is a drawback to the system, but it can easily be ignored, leaving clan descriptions as valid generalizations rather than rules. A further inconsistency with the clan system is that most of the clans of the governing Camarilla are anarchists, loners and lunatics. This does not directly affect playability, and can be easily ignored or explained by crafty GM's. The only real conceptual problem I have with the world is the danger of jeopardizing the Masquerade involved in leaving one's food alive. Either characters lose Humanity quickly, or a suspicious number of human victims are running around complaining of bites to the neck. Either way, it's a little hard for the GM to explain this and keep the campaign running smoothly. The system is designed for a thoughtful campaign. While the vampires are nearly invulnerable, they have few combat advantages besides the costly Disciplines. Confrontations and occasional battles will almost certainly arise, but the VTM world is not designed for action-based campaigns. Sorry, Tim. While vampires are more powerful individual humans, a gang of humans can overcome even a party of young adventurers (thus the emphasis upon the Masquerade). A VTM campaign will be focused on the characters and their grappling with their natures. Vampire fans used to Dracula and similarly powerful undead may be disappointed, but the focus on character should make VTM an intense and captivating experience for committed roleplayers. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Archetypes and Comic Books: The Fall of the X-Men by Becky Teed Chris Claremont introduced a new kind of character to Marvel when he took over "The Uncanny X-Men". By taking the symbol-laden archetypes created by Wein and Cockrum and combining them with the traditional everyman favored by Marvel, he created characters that were credibly "more than human". Claremont eventually found the characters more than he could handle, though, editors and other writers have now stripped them of their archetypal aspects and focused on other aspects of the characters that they hoped the readers found appealing. The X-Men started out as a team of five characters written by Stan Lee. Like the other superheroes Lee wrote (and almost all of those at Marvel at the time), they had extraordinary powers but ordinary personalities. The reader could sympathize with the character's desires and feelings and imagine what it would be like to have the character's ability to solve the world's problems. The X-Men were differed from other Marvel heroes in that they were born with their powers and were feared and hated by the non-superpowered public for being more than human. Otherwise, the team and its book were unremarkably average. Claremont changed everything when he took over, establishing a brand-new team of X-Men (created by Len Wein and David Cockrum), who were very obviously more than human. Moreover, several of these characters resembled archetypical figures from myth and legend. Archetypes are hardly new to comics (Batman and Superman are classic examples) and have a powerful appeal, possibly because they remind people of the "superheroes" in the fairy stories of their childhood. Myths and fairy tales also leave a deep impression on the listener because they are loaded with symbols integral to our culture, which have been passed down for millenia. Using a mythic character allows and obliges, the writer to use and retell the elements of the myth the character is based on. This can also be something of a problem, because many of those original stories and symbols are very confining. The characters can degenerate into sterotypes and the stories may become repetitive. Claremont made the X-Men into the most successful long-running series in comics by combining powerful archetypes with sympathetic everyman personalities. He overcame some of the limits of the legends his characters were based on by adding contradictions to the characters, which both made the character more unique and created an internal conflict. This conflict, when handled well, allowed considerable character development. Claremont emphasized the characters' individual approaches to their personal and interpersonal problems, and even used the X-men's team book format to explore the interactions between various archetypes. Claremont's obvious favorite among the X-Men is Storm, a weather-controlling earth goddess. She reveres life, but has tremendous destructive power. Despite, or because of this conflict, she eventually became the team leader. Claremont experimented with ways to rebel against this simple feminine archetype, first having her go punk and get a mohawk and a dog collar. Later, she lost her powers but continued to lead the team as a strategist, her position assured by her her "inner strength". Finally, Claremont turned her into a child. None of these changes really went very deep or led to further possibilities. In the end, he seems to have given up and reverted her to her initial powers and appearance. The conflict embodied in the character Wolverine progressed further before being derailed. Wolverine began as a savage beast in human form, dominated by rages he couldn't control. When he joined the X-Men, he met Nightcrawler, essentially his opposite. Nightcrawler was an enlightened man in bestial shape, who encouraged him to develop his "higher self". Throughout their friendship, Wolverine did just that, although his path differed in detail from Nightcrawler's. Nightcrawler based his self on a swashbuckling persona, while Wolverine used his martial arts background as a source of ethical philosophy. By Annual #11, Wolverine was the wisest of X-Men. Unfortunately, this story failed to interest many readers, who apparently sympathized with the savagery that originally dominated Wolverine's life. Wolverine could brutally kill scores of villains without much danger to himself, a condition that many people envy at some time or another. Every villain in the Marvel universe was afraid of Wolverine, and catharsis sold better than enlightenment. The editors of Marvel put pressure on Claremont to scuttle Wolverine's spritual themes and to revert him to the simple, violent being he started as. Claremont didn't quite give in, but since Wolverine had his own series, another writer was found for the job (Larry Hama). There is no longer much internal conflict; the animal side has won. Claremont's Wolverine interacted with the similarly complex storm; his best foils now are the rather shallow characters of Jubilee and Gambit, a child and a thief, and his philosophical center consists of occasional backwoods wisdom. Another of Claremont's most beloved characters, Magneto, was the team's main antagonist. This character was originally created by Stan Lee as a simple an adversary for the brand-new team, an evil mutant. He was a generic Lee villain -- petty, cowardly, worldly, and not very bright. Lee gave him power over magnetism because as a lone villain pitted against a team, he had to have a considerable and versatile power. Jack Kirby gave him a costume that would allow everyone to recognize him as the bad guy; it was mostly red and featured a helmet with horns. His look created his archetype -- the traditional conception of the Devil is based on an older, but far-from extinct archetype: the Horned God of the Celts and Pan of the Greeks. This older reference was reinforced by his powers and his tendency to build devices pertaining to earth. Magneto immediately echoed European gods of fertility and by extension forces of nature made human. Other writers and artists have gradually brought the comic book character closer to the myth. Magneto became tougher, more courageous and visionary, a perverse hero in his own right. Roy Thomas added biological engineering to his list of technologies and had him making new (villainous) life forms who referred to him as "Creator". He became the Satan of the mutant stores, rebellious and charismatic. Claremont convincingly humanized this avatar of a most inhuman archetype. He wrote Magneto an extensive history as a victim, put him at odds with his power and gave him a drinking problem. His reactions to the usual super-powered conflicts became more normal than most heroes in "The Uncanny X-Men" #150, when he decided that taking over/saving the world wasn't worth killing children. Claremont reinforced Magneto's Antaen aspects at the same time -- he was from a grave when he was a child, built an earthquake machine and had a base within a volcano. He was neither clearly good or evil, and he had an old-fashioned, vengeful, patriarchal mindset. His most villainous deeds were the causing of mass disasters rather than personal murders. He was also horribly powerful, almost unbeatable. Claremont eventually reformed him, probably so he could use Magneto as a regular character. The editors were rather upset with this, since it clashed with Stan Lee's original conception of the character. They put pressure on Claremont to "revillainize" Magneto, which Claremont broke down and did. Claremont bitterly resented the editors' conception of Magneto. When he finally left Marvel, the last thing he did was to kill Magneto off so that no more harm would come to the character. The current X-Men writers brought him back to life recently, had him commit a few senseless atrocities to make him obviously a villain, and then had the X-Men kill him off again in an exceptionally cruel and brutal manner. Claremont also experimented with the story of Faustus, whose theme was that power and knowledge purchased at the price of damnation. Magik of the New Mutants (the junior-league X-Men) was a mutant who grew up in Hell (it wasn't called that, comics code you know), escaped to become a hero and then returned to overthrow the demonic ruler. Both her magical skills and the use of her teleportation power (involving a shortcut through Hell) corrupted her, and her demonic side threatened to take her over both physically and morally, but she needed her powers in order to be an effective superhero. The Medieval "Faust" has several endings -- Faust is either redeemed by giving up his power or he is finally damned. Magik was lost to another writer who was not particularly interested in her personal conflict, and the character eventually sacrificed herself to save the world from the denizens of her hell (the story had implications that her neglect led to the world's vulnerability). While friends tried to make it up to her by rescuing a younger version and effectively bringing her back as an innocent baby, she was also recently killed off. Retuning to innocence didn't work for Magneto either. Well before Claremont left, the X-men had degenerated to a team of killing machines and embittered, would-be everymen. The characters were largely static and there were few references to the legends and the symbols they represented. The new writers are trying to keep them popular as just another superteam. I think they are doomed to failure for several reasons. Firstly, the X-Men are not "just another superteam". Mutants usually acquire their powers as children at twelve to fourteen years of age, so it's hard to believe they are going to grow up to be ordinary people in spirit if they are not in body. The other Marvel superheroes (Spiderman, for instance) have all received their powers late in life, and are still ordinary Americans molded by their culture. That "molding" process has been interrupted in a mutant, who has unusual capabilities and possibly perception as well. The potentially corrupting nature of mutant powers, especially telepathy, needs to be taken more seriously. Why do the public hate and fear mutants if psychologically, mutants really are human? I'm afraid that Marvel, like much of the media, treats Joe Q. Public as simply envious, cowardly and stupid. They don't need a reason. But it might be interesting, from a story point of view, to have mutants as a special case of the human condition. If corruption, even mild corruption, is a problem for all mutants, that makes this conflict interesting and the mutants a little less smug and self-righteous. Finally, the archetypal elements made the stories a little less predictable than they have become. Lately, a good fight is the way to resolve a problem in a story, The legends offered alternatives. Also, resolution of internal conflicts offered the option of completing stories, usually anathema in comic books as an important source of change. Wolverine could have overcome his violent aspects and taken Xavier's place as the teacher of the mutant community. Storm's development had hardly begun, and Magneto's and Magik's offered a number of interesting possibilities. Archetypes are still doing pretty well at DC, though. Superman and Batman have become big sellers again, and there is a lot of attention on a comic book which brings back many elements of old stories without the superhero trappings: Sandman. Perhaps some of the new companies will take a hint. There is hope for the comicdom yet. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Can't Take Trek? Try This" By Toby Elliott Season Seven and Supposedly Last for "Star Trek: the Next Generation" has left many fans in a bind. Its consistently poor quality has left them casting about for new shows to replace what was a once a great series. While the emergence of Deep Space Nine as a superior series has helped compensate, rabid Trek fans need more. Trek fans want a similar show that does better than Trek's weak and tired plotting, scripting, directing, characterization, dialogue and acting, preferably in the hour-long episodic format. What many of them are not aware of is that such a show exists on their TV right now. This article will attempt to show them what they have been missing, no only in terms of similarity to Trek, but also why it is superior. The show is, of course, that bastion of drama, "Beverly Hills 90210". On the surface, they would seem to have little in common. Further viewing, however, shows many similar threads: the hour length, long run, dramatic presentation, general overarching storylines, "modern themes" issues presented as fiction, the alternate reality setting, and independently casted spinoffs. Higher-ups in both shows wrestle with the Peter Principle. Both shows killed off a character in the early going. Even the ensemble casts are similar: the good-guy captain (Picard/Brandon), the moody, ruffled first officer with Dad problems (Riker/Dylan), the level-headed voice of reason counselor with mom problems (Troi/Donna), the Mr. Fixit with a snappy answer to every situation (Geordi/Steve), the logical character trying to cope with what it means to be human (Data/Andrea), the gruff, sometimes unliked character with the heart of gold (Worf/Brenda) and even the young genius geek who turns into real character by season four (Wesley/David). Although both casts have their disagreements, they really like each other and most of the conflict can be resolved by the end of an episode. The TNG casts boldly grapple with the mysteries of the universe -- the 90210 cast with the mysteries of college. Many of you may be surprised by the similarities, but that's just not enough. With the weak Season Seven, any show that is to become the heir to Trek must prove itself superior. Well, I'd give the acting and characterization edge to 90210. Of the seven comparisons above, four are won by the 90210 representative, and let's face it, Kelly is preferable to Dr. Crusher (anyone who needs proof hasn't seen "Suspicions"). Even at the heyday of the series Trek was carried by Stewart, Spiner and Dorn. All three of them appear to be going through the motions now, and Trek has deflated as a result. The cast of 90210 has meshed ever more soundly and is even solid enough to pull off the occasional bit of ensemble farce. In terms of characterization, the last two seasons of Trek have done a lot to undo good work previously set up. In particular, Worf has been much diminished through weak outings ("Birthright", "Rightful Heir") that tried to establish his heritage and turn him into a "sensitive new-age guy with a pony-tail"(TM) . Crusher has had flop after flop ("Suspicions", "Attached") as they try to find something interesting to do with her. Geordi has never had strong characterization, Riker keeps being kidnapped by aliens who attach things to his head, and even Picard has had to drag himself through episodes like "Liasons". 90210 simply keeps building on what has been set before. There has been steady evolution -- you can tell what season an episode is in by the way the characters act. At this stage, what motivates them is clear. Past actions come back to haunt them (more on this later). When a character does something, even something as wild as going to Vegas to get married, its easy to see where they are coming from. We do not suddenly discover that we have a long-dead sister, or mother, or father, or relative of the week who's never been metioned before (Trek's overarching theme this season). While 90210 has surprises, they remain in character. Let's look at the plotting of last week's Trek and 90210 episodes ("Force of Nature" and the date rape episode). Both had heavy-handed messages, but Trek tried to hide theirs behind technobabble. Trek's plot (warp is destroying subspace) came out of absolutely nowhere, and to some extent defies reason. 90210's plot evolved over the season and drew on something from almost every recent episode. Most significantly, the resolution of "Force of Nature" required yet more technobabble, stuff that had never been tried before and a stupid, preachy ending that no doubt will be ignored. 90210's episode wa s resolved by recalling an incidental event that happened, entirely independently, OVER A YEAR AGO. If nothing else, this is why 90210 is the superior show. Trek has an amazing ability to forget the past, equalled only by its amazing ability to dredge something "out of the past" which we've never seen before. Further evidence: when 90210 does an explicit two-parter, one can usually count on the second part being as good as, if not better than, the first. 90210 has steadily improved in all aspects of the series since the first season. There is no consistency is Trek's supporting cast (so where is Barclay when they need him in all those other episodes?). Trek peaked early and has been in slow decline. Last but not least, 90210 previews never give away the solution to next week's episode (something Trek does with alarming frequency). So Trek fans, take heart. There are shows out there to be enjoyed -- just nudge that dial. And if all these arguments are still not enough to persuade you, remember that not only doesn't the 90210 away team consist of the captain, the first officer, chief science officer, chief engineer and Ensign Redshirt, but they never leave the doctor in charge to fight the Borg. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reprint: "What's REALLY Happening with ST: Voyager! No, Really!" from an Internet posting by Keith Loh (loh@fraser.sfu.ca) The Toronto Globe and Mail entertainment section reported today that the new Star Trek television series will have a distinctive Canadian flavour when it debuts later this year on CBC. Sources close to William Shatner have confirmed that the fourth series set in the popular universe created by the late Gene Roddenberry has already begun pre-production and a cast from the Canadian TV and film industry has been chosen. The new series, called Star Trek: Voyageur, will centre around a small crew of traders exploring on the outer fringes of the galaxy, seeking contact with cultures and establishing frontier routes in the Delta quadrant. Veteran Canadian actor Christopher Plummer, who has appeared as a Klingon commander in the motion picture Star Trek: the Undiscovered Country, will be captain of the "Hudson's Bay", and, unlike the captain of the Enterprise, Jean Luc Picard [played by Patrick Stewart], will have a true French accent. Plummer told the Globe and Mail last week that he had prepared a personal catch-phrase for his character, Captain MacDonald, along the lines of Picard's "make it so". "I've always admired Patrick [Stewart]'s acting style and especially the input he's had into his character's development," said Plummer, "I'd like to say 'fuddle duddle' myself." Backing Plummer up as his second in command will be Martin Short as Pierre Lamarche, part of a vocal and embittered minority from Captain MacDonald's home planet Fraxious. Two psychically linked twins both played by Michael J. Fox (utilizing a patented special effects system from James Cameron's "Lightstorm Entertainment" house) will take the helm while John Candy will make special appearances as the ship's masseuse. Fans in the Vancouver, British Columbia region reacted with joy to the news of the series by not going to the local football game. "I've got better things to do on a weekend, eh," said Michelle Braxton, a Trekker since the announcement came this week. "And I'm pretty glad too that William Shatner won't be on." The unnamed sources from Paramount said that an all-Canadian production and writing team would ensure that an 'eh' would be added onto most dialogue while the directors will strictly enforce the Canadian pronunciation of 'roof' (as in 'rufus' not as in 'rough'). A motion picture version of the new series is already in the works, though two competing scripts are currently being developed. One script, tentatively titled Star Trek VIII: Election 93 is rumoured to centre around a political crisis in the planet Ottawa. "The universal translator breaks down, eh, and people can't speak to each other using the two official languages," said one source over a Molson's Canadian beer. The other script, which has the endorsement of the National Hockey League, will feature a meeting between the ST:TOS crew and the new ST:V crew although there is some question over how this might happen. "It's not a time travel thing, eh, just we have to convince the old Canadians to leave Florida and California for once," said the unnamed source, who was cloaked. The Constitution class "Hudson's Bay" will be warming up its engines this December on CBC and will appear in a slot after the popular Hockey Night in Canada. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reprint: "My Trek Is Better than Your Trek" by Dayton Ward (aka NetRunr) originally printed in America On-Line's "Dateline:Starfleet #39" available on AOL, write Bill Mason at data1701d@aol.com for info. It is an issue that has been debated since my first day on AOL. It has fanned flames, tested friendships, induced hysteria and generally caused discontent among a vast populous of otherwise congenial people. My Trek is Better than Your Trek. What does this statement mean? For anyone who reads it or has said it, the phrase has a multitude of possible explanations, many of which have been expressed on the message boards, in the conference rooms, and even in professional publications. (Remember the TV Guide Poll asking which captain was better suited to defend the Earth?) Let's try to examine some of the world-shattering debates used to defend either Trek: ISSUE 1: My Trek is Better than Your Trek. Response: No, MY Trek is Better than YOURS. No.... This is where I confess that although I enjoy most of Trek's various incarnations, the original is still my favorite. Not for one of those ridiculous reasons like: "It was here first. Without it, there wouldn't be anything else.", but because I grew up with it. It's all there was when I was a kid. When the movies began showing up, I was ecstatic. When TNG first started, I was skeptical, but soon discovered that it was fun to watch in its own right. I was REALLY skeptical about DS9, but it's starting to grow on me. The point: despite the differences in the shows, there's something out there for everyone, regardless of your particular taste. Enjoy what you will, and allow others to do the same. ISSUE 2: Wesley is the most annoying character ever created for Trek. Response: I don't know...that one lady that kept yelling for Spock's brain really got on MY nerves. Otherwise, I'll give ya' that one.... ISSUE 3: The special effects on TNG are far superior to those on the original series. Response: Well, duh. This is not even a rational argument. OF COURSE they're superior. No one in 1966 even had a dream about computerized digital effects or any of the nifty high-tech gadgetry that either makes or breaks so much of today's science fiction movies and TV. I'm even willing to go so far as to say that some of Classic Trek's effects are still better than some of the drivel Hollywood has fed us in recent years, including recent Trek offerings (okay, the El Capitan falling scene was believable after that sixth margarita). ISSUE 4: Bashir must die. Response: Okay. Who's gonna tell his mommy? This one has raged across the AOL boards since the first episode of DS9. I'm not as much taken with the thought itself as I am with the multitude of methods that folks have devised to bring about the good doctor's demise. I'll say this: there's no lack of imagination in this department . . . ==8-D ISSUE 5: The acting on TNG is superior to the original series. Response: Both shows have their "moments." One could recite countless examples of Shatner's scenery eating ("We've got to take that one in ten thousand chance!"), or Marina Sirtis' mastery of the phrase, "He's hiding something." Comparing the original Trek's acting to that of other shows that aired during those years, I have come to the decidedly "Net-ian" conclusion that it was a requirement to overact back then. Of course, there were those aspiring individuals who tended to take it to an extreme on occasion.... ISSUE 6: At least on TNG, the captain doesn't beam himself into danger every week . . . Response: No one on TNG beams anywhere ANY week. Just kidding. It is agreed that the concept of ALL senior officers beaming into the unknown week after week was ridiculous. In today's military, that simply is not the case. TNG's approach is much more plausible. The simple fact is that when the original show aired, the lead character had to be in charge, and therefore had to confront the danger himself (note the use of the word "himself," since the networks couldn't even fathom a lady in a lead role back then). If the focus of the show had been on a group aboard the ship that was assigned the planetary exploration details, the "hero-in-trouble" plot device would have worked much better. But we must remember that the show was played solely for entertainment back then, without worrying about how legions of fans would react if a character did something off the wall or out of synch. It points back to the fact that the shows are entirely different, products of their times and should not be compared. They each have merits and flaws. ISSUE 7: Riker is fat. Response: At least he shamelessly flaunts it. Shatner tried to hide his with a girdle. There, enough on that one. ISSUE 8: There's not enough action/war/death on TNG. Response: Is it necessary? To a point, yes. Trek was first and foremost an action/adventure show. Gene may not have wanted it that way, but that's what he gave the network. That's what kids saw in it until they were old enough to realize all the many things that a Trek episode conveyed. Many of the original episodes are layered in messages that served to open our eyes to contemporary issues of the time (war, racism, etc etc). Some of the messages that came across are as valid today as they were then. The original series was an allegory of a violent, tumultuous period in our history. TNG/DS9 attempts to show us a world that has taken steps to grow up, as we move past the Cold War and into a new era of relations. Issues such as drug abuse, racism (still? will we never learn?), AIDS, gay rights and countless others are addressed in a manner that is uniquely Trek. There has been talk of wanting to see more war and death on Trek. Even though I am as big a fan of action as the next guy, I don't need to see bodies dismembered and flying about to know about death. That's not Trek, not even in the "old days." However, dealing with the effects of war, either as victims or as bystanders, would be worth exploring. There must be many stories out there that could work with these themes. ISSUE 9: Picard is a wimp. Kirk would annihilate him. Response: Hmmmmm.... Taken at first glance, the statement is valid. If the Kirk of the original series were pitted against Picard, I would have to place my money on old Jimmie-boy. But, what else about the two characters can be compared, if they should be compared at all? Kirk has been described in the various mediums as a man of action, of impulse. He even stated it himself that he had a tendency to "rush in where angels fear to tread." Picard is more thoughtful, more restrained in his actions. This could be the product of experience that the young Kirk of the original series did not have. We have seen in TNG that in his youth, Picard learned "the hard way" that being rash and impulsive is not always a good thing. This accounts for changes in his character that we are now familiar with. The Kirk of the movies has mellowed, become more seasoned. Again, it comes down to the fact that both characters are products of the times in which they were created. But Kirk would still annihilate him.... ==8-D ISSUE 10: Incredibly stupid dialogue. Response: I could spend all day on this one. But here are a few tidbits that spring to mind: From "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield": Lokai (paraphrasing) - I come from a planet called Cheron. Kirk (thinking hard) - That's in the southernmost part of the galaxy. From "Shades of Gray": Any non-flashback sequence. You could hit one with a dart while blindfolded. If you've stayed along for this much, then you hopefully realize that this was meant to entertain and hopefully provide some food for thought. It was never conceived with the intention to fan flames on either side of this Trek fence. The discussions and comparisons will continue for as long as there are different facets of Trek. Here's to spirited debate. -------------------------------------------------------------------------