------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ighbahpooighbahpooighbahpoo °±² °±² Wot the fuk ? ghbahpooighbahpooighbahpooi ghbahpooighbahpooighbahpooi hbahpooighbahpooighbahpooig hbahpooighbahpooighbahpooig °±² °±²ÛÛÛ²±° °²²ÛÛÛ²±° bahpooighbahpooighbahpooigh bahpooighbahpooighbahpooigh ±²Û ±²Û Û²± ±²Û Û²± ahpooighbahpooighbahpooighb ahpooighbahpooighbahpooighb ²ÛÛ ²ÛÛ ÛÛ² ²ÛÛ ÛÛ² hpooighbahpooighbahpooighba hpooighbahpooighbahpooighba ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah ßÛ Ûß ßÛ ÛÛÛ[CX93] ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahp ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahp Þ Ý Þ ÛÛÛ oighbahpooighbahpooighbahpo pooighbahpooighbahpooighbah Ûß ooighbahpooighbahpooighbahi ----------------------------------------- Ý------------------------------------ ViTSoNiC November 1993 File 12 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The The Pure Effects of Alcohol Well, before I begin I must make it known that I am not the foremost authority on the topic of alcohol and it's effects but I can say that I have observed many drink it and hurl it. A lot of people think they know why they drink, some say hey, I just wanna get pissed, bout 75%, others say I dunno, I just do, 11%, hmmmmm, I really can't see that well, 5%, and the remainder 9% are undecided about peer group pressure, or just wanna smash windows opening a Coldie. So the first thing one needs to do is decide how much of an effect one wants to achieve. If you want to get wrecked and absolutely shit faced then drink till you can't drink anymore. Usually the most common feat, but also has bad side effects. The first side effect occurs before you even start drinking. You need to have access to the alcohol. This can be to some a real problem, for numerous reasons. The most common being that they lack the money to get the required beverages. This problem is further compounded by parental preferences. Most parents either drink really bad Port, Sherry or something else not social acceptable. Age also plays an important part in getting alcohol. If ya too young to purchase, then find a really good friend. There is one really good solution to these problems. Go to a party were lot's of others have lot's of alcohol and just confidently pour your own or borrow from the never ending bin in the corner. This can be achieved quite easily because by the time you actually gain the confidence and overcome the fear of 'borrowing' everyone else is well on their way to being shitfaced and therefore won't realize that your borrowing their own beverages. Once you start to drink, you will feel the following the effects. First time drinkers, depending on what they drink will not enjoy, say their first Beer. Fear not, this is generally a universal reaction. The aftertaste of the Beer will immediately cause you to smile in disbelief conveying a message of 'yes, I really do enjoy this, this, beverage.' Others decide to hit the spirits. Spirits include whiskeys through to OverProof rums. You must be warned however, that some of these beverages can make you a) Throw up immediately b) Spit out the offending mouthful c) Swear very loudly d) Promise never to drink again e) impress every one there f) as a consequence of e), make many new friends g) All of the Above If your afraid of any of the above, then I suggest stinking to red cordial laced with highly contaminated water full of Chlorine. Spirits, if they are too strong for your tastebuds, can be effectively mixed with a mixer, preferably Coca-Cola. If you're a Pepsi freak, then this is the one exception you have to make. Pepsi does not make for a suitable mixer, only Coca-Cola can achieve this highly important function. Any spirit not flavoured as a fruit can be mixed with Coca-Cola. If you are new, do not under any circumstances mix Midori (or similar) with Coca-Cola, as party goers will immediately lose respect for you and suddenly realize that you are borrowing their beverages. Once passed your tenth mouthful, fifth beer, 50th mixed drink or 3rd trip to the Golden Bowl, you will start to feel slightly dizzy. Once you feel this, you know it's time to stop mixing drinks and sculling bottles of anything alcoholic. It is effectually called the point of no return. Drink, Drink, Drink. Next feelings then to be slightly blurred to the memory, but is easy to recall when observing others. Firstly, you start saying things that are really true, like, I really love you and wanna fuck your brains out, or 'Fuck your an ugly mother fucker' to the toughest guy/gal in the room . . . . b| . . . resulting in a black eye and a missing tooth. Experienced drinkers learn to be more tactful in what they say, generally handled by taking your girlfriend/boyfriend or sticking in a really tough group. Other effects include sudden loss of balance, delayed reactions, blurred vision, slurred speech. The more obscure reactions are many and varied. Sudden craving to inflict personal pain, falling to the ground, from balconys, and then laughing, singing psalms and hymns, really well, and remembering really bad things that make you feel really guilty. These reactions are pretty standard and should not be feared. If you are still concerned and feel that these reactions tend to lead to violence and personal pain, then I can reassure you by saying that statistically speaking, the number of injuries caused by alcohol at a party number the amount of Meg you have in your machine each year. Therefore the chances of you being injured or hurt are about the same as being beaten up by a fluffy duck. The next reaction tends never to be remembered very well, but generally includes hurling everywhere and an inability to control important facets of the body as rectum muscles or urinary tract. That pretty much concisely covers the general effects of alcohol. -##- --------------------------------------------------------------------- -##- #### Submit Stuff To Zen Amako Coming Soon Burning Chrome! Call .. #### #\/# P.O.Box 50 iNTOXiCATiON! .. Hi's to all DiE and #\/# #/\# Bulleen, 3105 ADFA people who love to hate each #/\# #### Vic. Aust. other :) #### -##- --------------------------------------------------------------------- -##-