,... $$$$ $$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg. ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg """"""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """"""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$ $$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$ """ """""" """ ggg "A Model Citizen's Viewpoint" ggg $$$ by -> Basehead $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ [ HOE E-Zine #968 -- 12/16/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$ `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""' When you get an itch, it doesn't go away quickly. Not even when the deeds done. Ask me seven different times and you'll get seven different answers. It's a trip, man! In the back of your mind, that's what takes up that little space. Like the part of your back you can't scratch, even with a back-scratcher. So now what? It's on to a life of this nonsense, I suppose. Moaning and wailing, not quite escaping some basic facts about the situation. It happening again and again until you wonder: How long will they let this slide? A long time. And that doesn't go a long way when it comes to helping YOU out. Regurgitating reasons back into your head is easy when you're free and clear. What about that day in the future, with the big billowing black cloud over it? Maybe that day, it's not so easy. But that's then, this is NOW. I know what you're saying, and it's understandable. There's a lot of different angles here. But what really matters? Will you figure it out in time? When is the end of the line, and what's your play until then? Live every day as if it was your last. No, every second. That's pretty good advice, even if you weren't you, and you hadn't done what you did. Shit, is there anything I can tell you that isn't therapist gobbledygook? Well, I can tell you this: These bars don't budge, and the bathrooms here reek of shit and piss, unsurprisingly. You're younger than I am. Not sure if that matters, but let's say it does. I could say you've got your whole life ahead of you, but you don't really. Your whole life is actually behind you. You became you before you read your first Classic Novel. No, the 'whole life' you have ahead of you is no sure thing at all. You've got _A_ life ahead of you, but it could end in five minutes. I could end it in five minutes. You can quote me on that. I don't want to disappoint you. I wish there were juicy things to tell. I'm sorry my daddy didn't shove his cock in my mouth when i was six. That's _kind of_ what you want to hear, I think. I could have a field day with fabrications. Fornications. Charades where I stomp around angrily, mimicking illicit sex acts by sliding my finger in and out of a hole made with my other hand. You could deduce a whole page full of nonsense about that. I don't believe in Benefits of Doubts, though. I don't believe it would be taken as a good-natured poke at my supposed 'archetype.' No, I got nothing but love from day one. Nothing but love. You can draw a big fucking heart at the top of the page if you want. I made it sound like seeing death around you was easy, but it isn't. Sometimes you cry, sometimes you don't. Depends on your mood I guess. Like I said, I wish there was a whole lot more to tell. The 'Instruments Of Darkness' were simple household items, and the meetings were pretty standard chance encounters. I don't know what you want from me, really. When I get an itch, I have to scratch it. And sometimes there's only one way. I'm a model citizen in every way but one. [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #968, BY BASEHEAD - 12/16/99 ]