[--------------------------------------------------------------------------] ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #554 `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 888 888 888 888 888 "I Love a Man in Uniform" 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 888 888 888 888 888 " by Muze 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 4/6/99 o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] I don't know why, but uniforms do it for me. Doesn't matter what the uniform is marine, police, post office, as long as the guy in it is decent and over 21. January 17, 1999. I went to Chicago this fateful Sunday afternoon. I went with my friend Scott, who's gay. That is important for you to know. So I know this Marine that lives in Chicago and he told me to call him the next time that I was in the city. So I did. Little did he know that he was about to go on the gayest adventure of his life. We met him at a gay club called Circuit, there was a drag show that night and all the little (and not so little) drag queens came out to play. The marine was a captain, so I'll call him captain since he can get in trouble for doing this. The queens loved him. They were disappointed when they found out he was straight. But, they had their way with him anyways. The captain is big, buff, bald and just REALLY good looking, so of course I had to have my way with him too ;) So, later on that night we went to the Manhole, which is a really sleazy bar. I hated it and I think the captain did, too. They have these monitors on the walls in this place playing really graphic gay porn. That grossed me out and well, I didn't get hit on much there, but that's to be expected. But it turns out that the captain did have fun that night, but the bad thing is that he never called me ever again, so maybe he didn't have that much fun. I think the queens scared him away from me. So I learned a lesson. Never take a first date to a gay club on drag night. No wait, never take any love interest to anything gay. period. March 29, 1999. I'm doing this internship with the Hobart police department so I get to go on patrol with the guys and tackle the bad guys. So I've been doing that for (and yes this is all relevent) three months now. I've found my favorite officer, his name is Mark. Yet another uniform. So I'm interested in this guy and he acts all interested in me, so I suggested that we hang out. So we did. We got off patrol at about 11:15pm which is later that usual. And we go get to his place so he can change out of his uniform. Well, he changed and I didn't like it. I prefer him with the uniform. I can't figure out why, maybe because I'm submissive or something.... maybe passive aggressive. So he's in plain clothes now and I feel strange being with him after work... so we rented a movie and then went out to eat. Ronin is a really good movie and I recommend it. But I still don't understand why uniforms, but at least I don't have some weird foot fetish or something, leather and chains. So now you know too much of my love life. Before my date with Mark I was supposed to go out with a different cop. His name is Tony, but he never called like he said he was so I never called him. But there goes the uniform again. Maybe I should go see a psychiatrist. Maybe something really is wrong with me. Maybe I really shouldn't be dating a cop from the department that I'm interning at. If you have any advice for me or can tell me why I like uniforms please tell me. I need help. [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #554 - WRITTEN BY: MUZE - 4/6/99 ]