[--------------------------------------------------------------------------] ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #532 `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 888 888 888 888 888 "SVP Aidez Nous!" 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/27/99 o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] "Allo. My name is Sylvie Bilodeau. I'm standing on the corner of what used to be Saint Lawrence and Saint Catherine boulevards. I'm here today to inform you that a terrible tragedy has been going on, and how you can help. Men, women and children are starving, in a land that was once of great prosperity. The thirty-story buildings you see to the right of me have long since been abandoned, and are being run by terrorists. Children have died in these buildings. Women have been raped in these buildings, as well as their bastard children. The water has become tainted, causing innocent Anglophones to involuntarily speak and think in French. Francophone newborns have been poisoned, their mothers and fathers beaten and left for dead. Throughout the streets, on large speakers atop streetlights, are endless Celine Dion tracks being played. Gangs have taken over homes. The idea of school is a long forgotten hope for the youth. Hospitals are a thing of the past. So I'm standing here today to ask for the help of you, the public. For just $1.01 per day, you can provide a nutritious meal, education, and a Celine Dion tape to one of these poor, hungry children. Just think, one of these innocent children would be given a hot, steaming bowl of poutine, provided by you and the generous folks at La Belle Province, as well as a can of Pepsi and a Mae West cake for dessert. You will also be contributing towards the education needed for these young children. They would be taught the basic essentials of math, French grammar, and slang French, by the great Dr. Paul Rose. And of course, the Celine Dion tape, a compilation titled 'Aimez Moi ou Mourrir', will be given to each child that receives a sponsor like you. We are begging you, here at L'Association des enfants de la république du Kébék, to give generously, and help yet another child grow up and live an adequate childhood. Please, help us rebuild the country that was once Quebec, because one more lost child is one too many. Merci." [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #532 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/27/99 ]