'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #290 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !! ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Smashface" !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Neko !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/16/98 !! !!========================================================================!! She had the kind of face that I just wanted to smash from the moment my eyes rested upon it. Her face carried some sort of stupid look on it, not unlike a cow. Ha. The thought of her chewing cud makes me laugh...hmm. I guess in a figurative sense she is chewing cud now. Or something. Oh yeah. Getting back to where I was ... You can probably guess by now that I've killed her. It was a pretty obvious destiny from the time I first saw that idiot-look on her face. We worked together. What a shit job that was. Cashiers at the local supermarket. After working an eight hour day, I'd have more money in my till just in cash then I've ever had at one time in my savings account. You'd think that place could've afforded to pay us more. Cheap bastards. Her name was Lila or something equally stupid like that. She reminded me of everyone I ever hated in my rather short life. I never really got to know her, my prejudice got in the way. Fortunately I never closed with her, or the events that just happened might have happened in a much more public place. I can't even imagine the kind of small talk we would've made as we waited for the customers to file through. I guess if there's one thing I can think God for in this shitty life it's that Lila and I never closed the store together. Any time she would ask me one of those stupid ass cashier questions like "Do you have any paper towels?" or "Could I borrow your pen?" I had to try extremely hard not to say "FUCK YOU YOU STUPID ASS BITCH" and instead grunted in the appropriate manner. I avoided talking to her at all costs. Since simply looking at her made me sick to my stomach, I could only imagine what carrying on a conversation with her would do to me. So, if I tried so hard to avoid her, how did I end up where I am now? Good question. Things were almost perfect, except for her being alive, and one night -- and not even a night when I was working -- they got all fucked up. I came in to the store about 5 minutes before it closed to get some cigarettes (Ever since Camel lost their icon Joe Camel I got hooked -- their new ads were MUCH cooler than those old kiddy ads) and shoot the shit with all my friends who were stuck working. I grabbed the Camels and walked to the front end, dodging the 'WET FLOOR' signs strewn about the area. I looked around to see who was working. There was only one lane open and the cashier had her back turned to me. Rob was bagging though. Cool, maybe we'd do something after he got off work. Then, with a chuckle, the cashier turned around. oh FUCK. SHE was the cashier. The ONLY cashier. FUCK. I tried to play off my discontent as I walked through her lane listening to the voice of Sandra the 'courtesy' desk girl telling the customers (me and maybe two other people at that time of night) that the store was closign in five minutes blah blah blah -- we always thought it'd be much more effective to simply tell them to get the fuck out before we loosed a pack of wild dogs on them. "Hey, Lila, Rob, how's it goin'?" I squeaked out with a slight shudder. "It's goin pretty good man, what're you doing tonight?" asked Rob. Lila chuckled again -- more like cackles to my ear -- and grinned stupidly. "Hi Will, nice to see you in here!" My mind repeated one phrase: fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou, but somehow my mouth managed to say no more than "Yeah, it's good, uh-huh. I'm in a hurry, ring me up." "Hey Rob, c'mere and mop the deli!" shouted one of the managers, aka the Supreme Asshole. Rob left me alone with her. The bastard. "So Will, where are you going in such a hurry?" "Uhh, a party and shit. Ring me up, please." "Ooooh! A party! I love parties! Take me with! Let's get drunk." An idea formulated in my head. "Uhh, okay. Ring me up." "Just take it." "Okay." Hey, maybe she wasn't so bad. No. So I waited a few minutes for the store to close and for her to leave. She got her coat on. It had a picture of Tweety Bird on it. How fucking stupid for a 17 year old. We went out and got in my car and drove to the non-existant party being held in the outback of a state park. She asked where I was taking her and I replied heaven. She thought I was joking, I guess, cuz she giggled and put her hands on my crotch. I pulled over, thinking why not. This was the end, after all. Might as well play it for all it was worth. I killed the motor and unbuckled, kissing her in the process. I felt her up and she returned the favor. She actually wasn't that bad. Oh well. Too bad. We made love. No. It was the teenage version. We fucked. Like bunnies. It was good, but I couldn't let that get in my way, now could I? I was on a mission. Of sorts. After we had finished, she reclined in the bucket seat, sighing and breathing deeply. I climbed on top of her and she giggled that stupid way again. "Ready for more, tee-hee?" Finally I let loose. "FUCK YOU, YOU CHEAP FUCKING NASTY ASS SKANK WHORE!" She laughed and said, "What?" I kneed her in the stomach. This added a stunned look to the permanent stupid look on her face. The chair went back the few inches it could as she had not locked it into position. This was good, after I got over the initial shock, as it allowed me more manouvering room. I kicked her in the face repeatedly. She was too stupified to even scream. There was blood everywhere, but by this point I didn't even care. I left her unconscious body resting in the passenger chair and opened the trunk. I grabbed my heavy duty Maglite from the trunk and returned to the car. The ending shouldn't surprise anyone -- I smashed her fucking face in with that flashlight just like I'd been yearning to do since the first time I saw her. Am I sorry? Not really, only that I didn't do it sooner. Will I be caught? I don't even care anymore. So, yeah, probably. I'm dumped her body in the lake, but what can I do about the bloodstains in the car? Not much. So now it's just me and a bloodied up car. And we're waiting for the cops. They'll catch on, probably in the next day or so. I can't imagine Lila staying submerged for long, and the camp is pretty popular this time of year. Someone will find her before the week is up. But that's not the best part yet. The best part was afterwards, when I drove to City Pride Liquor. They've got a drive through, see, and they don't check IDs, which is good in my case. I hadn't put on any clothes yet, and the car was, of course, still extremely bloody. I pulled up and asked for, and I quote myself here, 'the biggest fucking bottle of vodka you have." The girl working inside -- who sure as fuck didn't look old enough to drink what she was selling -- gave me a 2 litre bottle of some foul stuff called "Dyermo". It said it was imported from Russia, but I didn't give a fuck. She looked pretty shocked when she saw my state. But she didn't say anything. I gave her a fifty dollar bill that I found in Lila's purse and drove off. No driving off into the sunset -- more like driving off into the sunrise. Drinking straight from the bottle was the only way to go, and I went there. I drank the whole fucking bottle, pulled over to the side of the road (but by that time, the way I was driving, I was pretty much there anyway), puked out the window a couple times and fell asleep. I guess this is the end, but the cops haven't even found her body yet, so who knows. As the French say, "C'est la vie." Whatever. !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #290 - WRITTEN BY: NEKO - 11/16/98 !!