'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!! ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================== ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #272 !! #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !! ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================== ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Flip The 'Off' Switch" !! ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Charlie !! ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/6/98 !! !!========================================================================!! you know, for many years now i have been into computers. and i think in all of that time i have learned a very important lesson. and that is that if you can say that first sentence without fear of being ridiculed by hundreds of nameless losers who refuse to spell english correctly, think grammar is a foreign language, and can't give out their address without saying the word "dot", then you are still a real person. let's examine that first sentence, and see why it still represents what i would call normalcy, not sanity, because many people are sane, but i don't think too many people are normal. 1. the word computer is used in its entirety and in a normal sentence. yes, that's right, i am not afraid of the word computer. that is what you people out there actually use. not tcp/ip, irc, d00dz, warez, or anything else you might want to call it. you are using a piece of engineering created by people who are way smarter than you and actually have the dedication and drive to create something so fantastic that no one would have ever thought of what it could accomplish. yet for some reason, you run away from the word that describes the object that gives you the power you so loudly proclaim as always being yours forever and that you can use it better than anyone else out there. get real. the computer is not a right. it is not communication. it is not freedom. it is a box with an awful lot of sand in it. but, not too many years ago an awful lot of people got together and came up with an awful lot of ideas, combined it with an awful lot of engineering, and created the box in front of you. be honest: you could never have done it. you would never have been able to conceive of it. yet you say that it is yours and you are the best at it. loser. i am proud of the fact that i can use a computer. and not just one. i can use many, of which they run many different things. i take pride in my ability. i take pride in teaching my knowledge to people who don't know it and want to know for the sake of learning. i take pride in my wanting to learn more about computers. i take pride in all i have taught and all i have learned, for all of life is learning. show me a man who has learned it all, and i will show you an empty shell of chemicals which cannot react to the world around it, just like the machine he claims to know. 2. the sentence is grammatically correct (i think). ok, so i don't know for sure. i never really liked grammar, but i always respected it and the language it is based on. some of you, for some reason, seem to think that a language is nothing more that a bunch of words grouped into any order you think will convey the meaning you want. "me kool and k-rad, you phear me." not. anytime i see this sentence, i sigh, shake my head, and wonder what other lost soul out there wrote this and complains about how he can't get the latest equipment while he spends his time on his ass refusing to get a job because he doesn't want to be a part of the establishment and simply work to further the goals of the power-elite that he so desperately wants to be a part of but is too lazy to go out and work for it so he spends his time on his ass bitching and complaining to his friends who are just like him and in my humble motherfucking opinion are just eating up bandwidth that i could be using working on my latest idea that i'm following up on and i'd like to be able to videoconference with my partner but i can't because for some reason everything is running too fucking slow and i can't use my drive and determination to further the every society that you want furthered but only if you can do it while sitting at home in your pajamas typing on a keyboard that someone else built while you were in diapers. (okay, so the grammar is bad there, too.) 3. i take pride in knowing about computers, i enjoy using them, but i can find the off switch. okay, real fast, how many steps does it take to turn off your computer? is it: (a) 5 (b) off? (c) 1 (d) depends on how many channels i'm on if you said anything but (c), you're fucked. let us examine the possible responses: (a) 5. the only reason why you should possibly be answering this is because you're a network admin who has to worry about the people he runs a network for. you work hard to maintain it and be efficient, and you actually care about the people who depend on you (note: this is reality. if you find caring for other users on a network a totally alien concept, jump out your window right now). (b) if you have no concept of the term off, (the state your computer was in when you bought it), you are fucked. you are one of those people who leave the computers on 24 hours a day because you never know when someone you want to flame will come on, or you have 20 bots running around that you have to keep an eye on, or you have 15 background jobs running kicking those stupid asses off the channels time and time again and you spend all your time sitting there smiling contemplating your eliteness while the world moves on around you without you and you complain about how you aren't getting a piece of the action. take the following steps now: 1. find the big red switch in the front, and flip it down. or 2. if unable to find big red switch, yank out plug from wall. your computer should now turn completely black and quiet, if this frightens you, it is okay. turn around, find the door, walk out, and experience the world. it's a lot more, fun, exciting, dangerous, and cruel than anything you can find in a box. (c) 1. this is the correct answer, or it should be me, for most people. there is one only true step, hitting the power button. (d) if you even contemplated this answer, you are gone. i'm sorry. delete this file (i doubt you even read this far anyway). go on with your pathetic excuse for a life, and just stay the fuck out of my way. no, i am not a republican. i am actually quite liberal. but in the many years that i have been hanging around bbs's and the internet, i have noticed a disturbing trend. there are many people out there who seem to think that they are the best, that no one is better than them, and that they should be able to rule the world simply because they have memorized some obscure programming language someone else wrote for them anyway. think, people. could you have come up with that os you're using right now? i doubt it. live! there is a real world out there people. think of it this way: 4.3 billion years ago: earth formed. 4.3 bya to 350 million years ago: life develops, man is evolved. 350 mya to 10,000 ya: man develops, wheel is invented. 7,000 ya: written language developed. 500 ya: printing press developed. 50 ya: computer developed. you idiots are claiming you rule a world only fifty years old. guess what was happening all that other time? no, it wasn't history that just happened, it was men and women going out, and getting the drive and determination to do something useful with their lives. they learned, they invented, they taught to others. if you can do that, and take pride in it, then you are a real member of a society that doesn't oppress, doesn't seek to overwhelm or completely conform, but a society doing its best to move forward in an age where change is becoming more and more rapid, and frightening a lot of people who couldn't dream of what you today take for granted and look down on those who can't do it as well as use. take some advice. stop. breathe. experience. learn. live. then take the hand of someone young or someone old, show them to that which i know and you know you love, and show them the wonders of what it is you know. watch them learn, and then watch you learn. and maybe then i won't have to write shit like this again. !!========================================================================!! !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #272 -- WRITTEN BY: CHARLIE -- 11/6/98 !!