$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #205 $$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt. $$$$P $$$$ x$$$$ $$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$. $$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$ $$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$' $$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P' $$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %% $$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %% >> "HYPE eZine -- Issue 1" << by -> Craig Martin ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- H Y P E -- The new ultimate eZine! *** Issue 1. *** Welcome ------- A different kind of eZine! eZines' are becoming notorious for being full of junk, and put bluntly, boring. However, hope is on the horizon with the introduction of Hype! This biweekly small burst of text is designed just to make you smile or relax for a couple of minutes during your hard work. I'd like to point out that we encourage reader participation (so write to us with your comments and letters), and we'll endeavour to do out best in keeping this eZine interesting and on track. Well, there's nothing else to say, except, enjoy it! 1. Strange? -------- Mobile phoneys? It's common knowledge that you can't concentrate on driving if you're talking into a mobile phone. It's also a tragically '80s pastime. But Chilean police recently stopped no less than 49 drivers for yakking while in charge of a motor vehicle. Not a particularly interesting tale, except for the phones the motoring miscreants were speaking into. Surprisingly, the most popular device wasn't a Nokia, Panasonic or Motorola. In fact, an entirely new brand is the Chilean driver's phone of choice: over a third of the pulled-over motorists were found to be using mobile phones made out of blocks of wood, painted black. Draw your own conclusions about our friends in Chilli. 2. Health Warning -------- Reading Good for You? Think Again. Recent research indicates that if you read books, magazines, or computer screens regularly, your chances of requiring glasses or contact lenses later-in-life are increased by up to 40%. It is to do with the way your eye's lens and cornea has to unnaturally focus to read close-up small text. An extended period of close range focus weakens the tiny muscles in your eye that focus an image. Ultimately, this causes long or short sighted related problems. Ways to reduce the stress on your eyes muscles are simple: every few minutes look away from what you are doing to a distant object for a couple of seconds -- this temporally relieves the muscles, it will also help you concentrate for longer and reduces the chance of developing a headache; make sure the text you are reading is quite large, if the text is very small, it is advisable to use a magnifying glass or similar device; finally, use the zoom function on your computers' word processor. Most people will already know about the dangers of ear damage resulting from loud music -- now it seems the same warning may apply for reading... only do it for short periods of time! 3. Music ------- Hanson: Who? Avid guitar players all over the world maybe tempted to pick up the "Hanson Score Music" book to help stretch themselves and learn some new chords at the same time. However, imagine the dismay when they find out that Hanson's hit, Mmmm Bop, consists of only three chords, and simplistic lead staff notes. The chords, being A, E and D, are the easiest in the game, and someone that has only been playing the guitar for a couple of months could walk through them with his/hers eyes shut. Is this the confirmation we've all been looking for? That Hanson, are, indeed talentless. Still, the question remains; why didn't the record company just trade the Hanson brothers in for three female learner guitar players? At least that would have saved some people from the shameful mistake of getting Hansons' sex confused. Ah well, maybe next week they'll decide just to finish the job off properly, and go into hospital for that famous operation. - Want to argue Hanson case? E-Mail address at the end, friend. 4. New Year Tales -------- A Night, A Nightclub [part 1]. We begin sometime around 1998, seven hours before to be precise. That problem has arisen again: how are we going to get home? Car is out of bounds, that's for sure. I don't think anybody would fancy the scenario of being pulled over by the Boys in Blue, especially when they have 10 pints of larger neatly tucked away in their stomach - besides, lets face it, it's even more anti-social than having a T-shirt with the slogan "Nazi Power!" painted with blood on the back. Public transport is not an option, unless you count footpaths as a form of public transport. So, it looks once again like a Taxi. Hang on, it's New Years eve, and after midnight. Isn't that just inviting a rip-off? A risk we will have to take, it seems. Nearing the time of departure; time to get ready. I get out my great new clothes I acquired in the sales last week - a stylish shirt that resembles an early Dali surrealist painting. Three hours later I've finished removing that build-up of grime from 'those places' that I've been collecting since last year. Now comes the hair. Typically, it refuses to go where I want it to go. I'll have to just settle for the natural look. Don't you find that however much you try, you can never be happy with what you look like? Anyway, after much fussing, I decided it didn't really matter since it was going to be dark in the club. We arrive in town at about 7:30ish. There's a huge mob gathering inside the station, and amazingly we manage to spot our 'contact' who knows the club manager. Yes, I admit, I'm one of those annoying people that jumps queues whenever possible. By the time we get to the club (a 25 minute walk), the winds had a field day with my hair. Now I stand outside the club looking like I've just been dragged through a bush, been left lying in a ditch for a day, had Edward Scissorhands cut my hair, been dragged back through the bush, and to top it all off, someone has just given me a nasty fright. Do you ever feel like that, or is it just me? - Want to find out what happens in the actual nightclub? I think you do! Continued next issue. If you have an experience you are willing to share, please, please, please send it to us. We'd love to hear about it. 5. School -------- Pressure. With exams looming for many of us, it gets harder and harder to get them out of your mind. Every year the pressure put on society's teenagers increases at an alarming rate. More tests, more targets, more responsibilities are added. Tips for beating the pressure follow, hopefully, you won't have heard them before and they do help. a) Do work early. We all know how easy it is to leave it until the last minute. Completing it early may give you a bad 'image', but it does take a load off your shoulders and allows you to enjoy yourself a lot more. b) When doing work, do it 30 minute steps. It is scientifically proven that your brain can only concentrate for around 30 minutes without wondering. 30 minutes work, 10 minutes rest, another 30 minutes work, etc... This will increase your productivity! c) If you're at collage or university, you will be feeling lonely. Sure, you have many 'friends', but none of them are really someone you can talk to about anything. Give your real friends, and family, a ring. You'll feel a lot better about it! --------------------------------------------------- *** Acknowledgements *** Issue readers: 40 email, 20 printed. 60 total. Please forward this email to anyone who you think may be interested in it! If you have received it from a forward, and wish to receive it directly every two weeks, please send an email to "hype@btinternet.com" with "Subscribe" in the subject. If you wish to stop receiving Hype, please send email to "hype@btinternet.com" requesting this. Any comments, letters, etc. should be sent to "hype@btinternet.com". All contents (c) 1998 Hype Magazine. Editor: Craig Martin Co-writer: James Matheson Thank you for your continued support! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- * (c) HoE publications. HoE #205 -- written by Craig Martin -- 3/06/98 *