Oh my GawD! ***** The Funniest Comedy of the Year! ***** More from GwaD! The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated Brings YOU 5 Brand New Text Files AND 5 NEW NEW NEW MP3s for the aftermath of GwD's Eighth Birthday (June 11, 2001)! (Issues 101-105 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime and Issue 1-5 of Greeny's wildly amazing universal Digital opiate) -> HEADLINES <- GwD Publications/DOMINATION records announce the long-awaited release of their joint venture...they have come together to bring you a "'zine" guaranteed to make you cringe. Publication of our new 'zine, _GwauDio_ (_Greeny's wildly amazing universal Digital opiate_) has begun. As you might guess from the title, it's an audio-zine. It's the first audio-zine, as far as we know. cDc releases sequentially numbered mp3s, true, but they only started this in 2000. The idea for _GwauDio_ was first introduced by Seth The Man in 1998, and the first release has been in the works since 1999 (yeah, that's a long time to wait for this crap to be released). Also, _GwauDio_ is even more unique in that it features (almost) exclusively speech, rather than music. We rock, I tell you, we rock. It is, after all, a universal Digital opiate -- that's right, a Digital opiate for the masses. Listen and learn, my little dr00gies. -=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=- ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** R E L E A S E N O T E S ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** WORD TO YOUR MOMS. Sexy Text for YOU! New issues of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime http://www.GREENY.org/pubz/twist/twist.html#new gwd101.txt - "MY T.I. 'LITTLE MAESTRO'" by Kp Neato Dee A heartfelt tale about abusive relationships and musical toys for children. gwd102.txt - "The CIA Hit List" by Lawrence Wilmot Reprinted from _The SPOTLIGHT_ newsweekly back in 1993, Mr. Wilmot gives detailed information about who exactly the CIA has killed. This file takes "PUBLIC ENEMY #1: CIA" (gwd57.txt) one step further. Read it and be forever changed. gwd103.txt - "The 'Genesis' of Feminism" by Priest Priest presents the truth about where exactly feminist thought originated. Interesting, inciteful. Read it for a surprise. Uhh, yeah. gwd104.txt - "CHiPs" by Franken Gibe How dare you insult CHiPs? BLASPHEMER! gwd105.txt - "Risk and Uncertainty in Bernstein's _Against the Gods_" by Otis Otis is at it again, this time using Peter L. Bernstein's _Against the Gods_ to define risk and uncertainty. For an alcoholic, this fellow [Otis] sure is pretty smart. Or something like that. AND... Zounds, Zounds, Really Cool Sounds! Inaugural release of GwauDio! http://www.GREENY.org/pubz/gwaudio/gwaudio.html gwd001.mp3 - "Wank Pong Song" by Bob the Master of the World Bob the Master of the World sings a song to Seth The Man. It's funny because it's true. Uhh, yeah. gwd002.mp3 - "ChaosLAN" by Stephen Hawking There's an e-mail listserv for ChaosLAN, the GwD-sponsored LAN party-group thing. Little did we know until recently that Stephen Hawking was secretly lurking on the list. This is what he had to say to (and about) us. gwd003.mp3 - "G-Money" by Various Artists [One of the original GwD-mp3s (along with Bob tMotW's "Wank Pong Song"), this was slated to be released in 1999. This, of course, explains its claim to a 1999 copyright date, even though it was not released until 2001.] Featured artists: Seth The Man, Bruno, Trailer Park Queen, DJ Saltine (The Notorious R.O.B.), Some Eye Doctor's Receptionist, and Some Zany Old Man. gwd004.mp3 - "You the Man!" by Seth The Man, featuring Lobo Licious Lobo Licious pleasures yet another woman, and Seth The Man congratulates him. [Originally released as "loboman.wav" in November 1997, this is being re-released because YOU demanded it. Blame yourself, chach.] gwd005.mp3 - "Drunk" by fastjack and Priest fastjack and Priest are drunk. Just listen to all of the fun they're having. Don't you wish you were drunk, too? -+- GREEN is GOOD. -+- ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** What's going on in Grenedom? ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** -> OTHER NEWS <- GwD turned 8 years old yesterday. 8=5+3, therefore 8 rocks nads. It's only been 2 weeks since our last release. Holy fuck! -> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <- If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.), DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby. Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted, articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit, even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you). ~~~~~ -*- beeR eht troppuS -*- CONTACT: The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc. http://www.GREENY.org/ Pubz - http://www.GREENY.org/pubz/ - Pubz ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/ GwD@GREENY.org P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490 - for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance - * Lusty busty teens - always live and ready! * *** The GwD Task Force, Inc. - All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993! *** GwD News #16 - rel. 06-11-01 - by Lobo Licious & Bob the Master of the World ***** copyright (c) MMI GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. ***** -*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN16