GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e , I n c o r p o r a t e d Presents: __ __ 999999999 0000000 _____ ____ _| |__| |_ 9999 9999 000 000 // | \ |_ __ _| 999 999 000 000 000 || ____ | || | | | | | 9999 9999 000 000 000 || || \ / | || | _| |__| |_ 9999999999 000 000 000 \\___// \/\/ |____/ |_ __ _| 999 000 000 000 |__| |__| 999 000 000 999 0000000 "Am I Old School Yet?" by Jaffo ----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #90 ----- ----- release date: 01-03-01 ***** ISSN 1523-1585 ----- -+- Ode To A Dead Cow -+- Once upon a time, there was a text file group, a charming collection of intellectual malcontents from Lubbock, Texas, carving out a niche in the digital underground. It was 1988. I was 17, calling up local bulletin boards on my friend's Commodore 64. All my friends had Commodores, but my parents bought me an Atari 800XL. If they'd bought me a modem, my whole life might have been different. Instead, they bought me a word processor and a copy of Star Raiders. So while the members of this (now-famous) text file group were interviewing Neo-Nazis (see cDc-0059.txt) and scribing bizarre religious prophecies (see cDc-0056.txt), I was hunched over a map of Greyhawk, crafting character sheets on my Bank Street Writer. I was on the bare periphery of digital culture in high school. I spent my weekends at Harvey's house, begging to use his modem. I didn't really get "into" the BBS scene until I went to college. I stayed in the dorm, feeding my addiction at the Gaston Hall computer lab. They had an ancient Apple computer with a modem. I must have called a dozen boards a day, but the only two I remember from that era are "Trend" and "Neurochick's Biker Slut Haven." Five years earlier, I had accounts at "Dark Realm" and "The Crystal Palace." The "Palace" was the ultimate Lubbock BBS. I think he had almost 50 megs of files at one point. I dropped out of school and moved to Dallas. I learned how to tie a Windsor knot and got a bunch of temp jobs. I worked for Kelly Temporary Services in Irving. Some jobs were good. I was only 19, but the people at Smith-Kline Beecham would have hired me perm if they had anything. But as time wore on, the jobs got harder and I lost interest. They sent me on one assignment that I was *not* prepared for; they set me up as an "Executive Secretary" at GTE Telephone Operations. I was barely 20 years old. I could handle email and word processing, but I didn't know shit about protocol or office procedure. They should have fired me. Instead, they just ignored me. Even when I tried to get help, nobody seemed that interested. That's how I ended up logging almost 100 hours in long-distance calls to the GTE modem pool. I would call "Trend" and the "Haven" and download megs and megs worth of messages. I would format them in WordPerfect, double-columned, in a tiny font, and carry huge *bundles* of paper home with me at night, tucked inside my soft-side briefcase. At night, I would take them home and read, dreaming about friends and family and the home I missed in Lubbock. So, as a result, I may be the most well-read person who never posted* to a BBS. For some reason, I didn't mind wasting hours of long distance and reams of GTE paper, but I felt posting to a BBS on company time would be wrong. There was some logic to it. Downloading and printing these files was an automatic process. I could work on other tasks while this was going on. I'm actually quite ashamed of this, but those years in Dallas shaped my current attitude about online culture. My "read-only" status, and my intense longing for interaction with these people made the whole thing seem more important than it was. These were ordinary people, confused kids just like me. But reading their posts in my room every night, 300 miles away, they became celebrities. I tried to insert myself into the Dallas BBS culture, but it just didn't work. There were a lot more boards to choose from, but these kids just weren't as smart as the people I knew in Lubbock. Neurochick and JMG were like the first family of the digital underground. For whatever reason, Lubbock BBS culture was a cut above everywhere else I called. Stuck in a town full of rednecks and religious fantatics, the Lubbock culture was an escape, a refuge from a town that felt like a prison. The adversity made us stronger. It made us smarter. It made us introspective. And it made us funny! Two [actually three] major text file groups started in Lubbock, and a half-dozen others are worthy of praise. The most famous is the Cult of the Dead Cow. You probably know them as the creators of Back Orifice. I was never in cDc. I met the founder at a party once. Ratte' was going to publish one of my files, but it never quite happened. Honestly, I'm disappointed that cDc has become famous for real hacking. The original cDc was a reaction against the arrogant, pretentious text files coming from real hacker groups. I think cDc #200 captures the true spirit of cDc. After a decade of quality stuff, I still think #200 is the best thing they ever did. cDc wasn't formed by hackers. It was formed by *posers*! -- proud, artistic posers who frequently got their asses kicked on the digital playground. cDc was a rebellion against the rebels, a refuge for snaggle-toothed lamerz who couldn't get accounts on an elite BBS. Now cDc makes hacking tools that scare people at the New York Times (see http://www.nytimes.com/library/tech/98/08/cyber/articles/02hacker.html). The article calls cDc "one of the oldest and most-respected hacking groups." What the fuck? BO2K is a sweet piece of code, but you guys will never be as a cool as 'Lil Bunny FOO-FOO.' I still respect cDc and I support its current mission, but dammit, I miss the old cDc. The cDc I remember wasn't about codez or warez or hacking or any of that shit. cDc was about art -- weird, sick, twisted, fucked-up art. I didn't want to see the guys get famous for Back Orifice or Gerbil Feed Bombs (see cDc-0001.txt). I wanted them to get famous for shit like cDc-0012.txt. cDc appealed to me because they understood the people behind the keyboards. They tapped into the angst and frustration felt by smart kids all over the world. But somewhere along the way, they grew up. We're living in a different time now. Digital culture has gone mainstream. Smart is cool. BBS culture is dead, and the Internet rules the Earth. In most ways, it's a better world. But I still miss the old days. I miss the days when it was six kids from Lubbock, taking on the world, one file at a time. -+- Mouseketeer Roll Call -+- Today, I know people who know people. There's a new generation of Lubbock writers out there, but now they're growing up, too. The "thank you" list in the GwD text files (see gwd50.txt) reads like a Who's Who of Lubbock BBS culture, from 1989 to 1995. "Acid Warlock (RnD), Ailanthus, Aracnia, Bezor Nova, Black Francis, Bob the Master of the World, Brazen, Breed_x, Bruno, Calypso (Zelia Winter), Captain Harlock, Chiba, Chilly Con Queso, Comrade Lenin, Cybereye, Diamondback, fastjack, Filo, Flea Killer, Franche Coma (Steve Ignorant), Franken Gibe, Genaerik, Hallucination, Hoggle (Wiley Coyote), Bill Hooper, Iron Priest, Izzy, Jaffo, Jakyl, Kaptain Kilobyte, Kilroy, King Arthur, KPND, Lasher, Malachi, Miyamoto, Mogel, Mohawk Dave, m0m, Mr. Q, Pride, Psychosomatic Illusion, Queen of Chance, Random, Ratt Fink, Ronin Darkheart, Rory, Seth the Woman, Sir Flea, Siva, Shadowhawk, Snotty, S00per Sperm, Squig, Stein, Swedish Shef (Spanky McDougal, Sir!), The Lizard King, TransDerm-Nitro, Trojan-Man, Unik, Wizard of Id, Zach D., Zen, Zippy" I only recognize half of these. Acid Warlock ran Purple Hell, the closest thing I ever had to a warez account. I remember Ailanthus as being gentle. A lost soul on the highway of life. Aracnia was Diamondback's psycho girlfriend. She could put her feet behind her head. That's the only thing I remember. Zelia Winter was some chick who did a lot of drugs over at Zippy's house. To this day, I don't know if she was turning up her nose at me. Captain Harlock is still alive and kicking at Legion West (http://www.ttu.edu/legionwest/). Diamondback is Matt, bouncing back and forth between Lubbock and Phoenix like a billard ball looking for a pocket. fastjack is Angry Mike the Tank Killer. "Get drunk, join the army, kill a Commie for Jesus, YEE HAW!" Angry Mike isn't so angry anymore. He's got a job and a girlfriend, and a future waiting for him somewhere in Dallas. One of the sharpest wits I have ever encountered. I'm pretty quick, but this guy was *amazing*. Army life and a steady girlfriend have taken the edge off his humor, but he's still got that gleam in his eye... Franken Gibe is old school cDc. A local legend who ran a BBS called "The / GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of ABSOLUTE CRAP! /---------------\ copyright (c) MCMXCIX Jaffo :SHIT YOUR PANTS: textfile copyright (c) MM GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. : GwD : All rights reserved \---------------/ GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD90