=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Mirrors of Years ---------------- There are so many parts to me, that no one could ever possibly know them all. Mirrors when I was little, were gateways to different worlds. Just like in Alice in Wonderland: The Looking Glass, or in the movie: Legend. They were pieces of glass, I could get totally lost and absorbed in, a world that was unlike the one I resided in. Spending hours in front of the mirror, wondering what made things the way they were, and what would make things the way they would be, someday. Nowadays, when I see a mirror, I avoid looking at it. But, one night, I closed my door, and there was my full length mirror. Only for a fleeting moment, I felt the curiosity of knowing once again. Finding out the secrets of the world of mirrors. My jaw dropped, from what I saw in that mirror that night. The one staring back at me, I did not recognize; the way she talked, the way she dressed, looked ... and her eyes! Her eyes were as if bottomless pools, that held every emotion ever felt, with shadows of some emotions. Shattered pieces of joy, outlined the surrounding of her eyes, happiness once a friend shimmered in the whites of her eyes. The dark green, were pieces of contempt, hatred, and shame. The black part of her eyes, that was the scariest of all. Endless, spiraling end. An end, that would continue destroying the one that once looked at the world of mirrors with such happiness, creativity and excitement for life. Letting the pieces of cloth fall from her shoulders, taking note of the condition of her body, it had shape now, filled out, and no longer looked like a little kids. As if seeing through some sort of special glasses, I could see where every mark or scar was or is, and every where ones had touched. There was something about her breath, the one in the mirror - a breath of carelessness, of denial. Laying down in bed, looking up to the ceiling, I promise never to look into the mirrors again. There are so many pieces of me, no one knows all. Sometimes I wonder if I even do. Things certain people say, I will react in different ways. There is the side of me that my family knows, work knows, friends. Friends ... now they see several different me's depending on which set of friends. Though, there is one thing that ties all of these different parts together, and that is my heart. My heart holds all the scares, shattered pieces, seams, cuts, walls, memories, loves, hates, and emotions that I have ever felt. To know me, know my heart ... To get to my heart ... you need to know how to live your life with your heart. Instead of the way I have lived mine, at times. Shadows linger deep within me, at times they are stronger and wider, then my heart. Other times, my heart is so large, that others are always around me. Then there are times like today ... where my heart is still, the shadows calm and it is as if I am looking into that mirror again. Seeing myself, a way that I wish I never had ... mirrors. They reflect so much. Sometimes, they can reflect things others do not see, and we do not know. Mirrors ... something I always wish I could ignore, but am always drawn back to, someday. Within the mirror, are all the parts of me, for my heart, still longs to find that mirror, that will only take me, and never return me. For, a mirror with no image, is one that I wish to be. Or maybe, I wish for an image that does not sicken me? - Kamira =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.simunye.com/fuck = = http://www.dis.org/se7en/fuck = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=