=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Losing It --------- Nervous fingers clumsy undid the first few buttons on my jeans, exposing untouched skin. Slowly I laid down on the large cold metal chair, in the corner of the room and shut my eyes....mentally preparing myself for what was about to happen. I felt him, inching closer, my body now tense with a mixture of fear and anticipation. His breath against my navel, icy like a cold winters night, sent shivers racing down my spine. Desperately I fought to silence the voices screaming in my mind ...YES!..NO!...STOP!...GO! I heard his voice, "Relax this will only hurt for a minute, and its smooth sailing from there". I tried to concentrate on the low buzzing sound that seemed to be amplified by the four white walls. I stuck in what became my self-induced prison. A surge of pain rushed through me with the fierceness of a lighting bolt. To late for second thoughts...... FUCK...FUCK...FUCK He was in and continued to jab his instrument into my skin. Breaking the thin barrier that separated us, realizing a drop of blood that slowly trickled down my inner thigh. He insisted on rambling trying to make light of the situation. I refused to smile, or even budge, the fear of moving and distorting what was happening kept me firmly in place. I became his canvas, submissive to the sting of his touch. After listening to the tick-tok of my wrist watch for what seemed to be an eternity (in reality it was only forty minutes), it was over. A thick creamy white gel covered my wound of tainted purity. I stood up and buckled my jeans with a new found confidence. Walking out of that room a new-found freedom spread through me faster then the plague, I felt as if I could fly, the only thing that kept me grounded was the pain I still carried, a badge of experience. Walking through the streets of the east village, I wondered how many others shared my secret. Stained innocence a small price to pay for the orgasmic mixture of pleasure and pain I felt at that moment. Although defiance is a drug more addicting then heroin; I prayed my mother wouldn't find out. I could hear her saying, "Nice girls don't do things like that." Standing in my room with the full moon my only companion, I got undressed and removed the bloody napkin from my hip. Slowly unveiling the blue rose that had become a permanent part of me. -bluerose =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Files through AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=