=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SOL on AOL ---------- I don't think this is one of those things that you have to know a lot about publishing to laugh at, so here it goes: I work for a journal that publishes medical article, amongst other things. I was talking with the printing house for our journal about how we could save $1000 a year by emailing articles rather than sending them by courier. Unfortunately, these stone-chiseling, cave-painting, Gideon press-running, monk-scribbling, backward scribes have NO concept of anything reasonably hi-tech other than to say that they came to work in a "horseless carriage". This guy must have had a bowl of Crispy Wheat and Testicles for breakfast ('Now with 30% more Cahonies!") because his reply to my request to email these files was (ahem...) "My staff tells me it would be too labor intensive." Pardon!? "Labor intensive"!? Are they going to translate the files from binary by hand? Am I sending these files in Apache? "Labor intensive"!? Now while you may think this is me over-reacting (perish the thought) because I am (overly) comfortable with email, I disagree. Normally I'd say yes if it were an Internet application, as I do understand that not everyone has severed their ties with society and learned the ins-and-outs of the internet. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Some of you may have guessed what kind of email it is already, and understand why undies are all in a bunch. They are using AOL. AOL and "LABOR INTENSIVE" go together the same way 'Christian Coalition' and 'Maplethrope photo exhibit' roll off the tongue. There are some that will say that AOL is still a little tricky. Sure, I'll concede to this, too. My friend's grandmother had just a tizzy trying to do a keyword search for a peach cobbler recipe until he showed her to look up 'cooking' instead. I mean this woman could STILL BE THERE pining away at AOL, wasting what could be her last few days of mortality, hung up on a semantics problem. To this end, not everyone is an AOL guru, or even needs to be one. Still, please think with me for a moment: This is the disk that they send to mailboxes all over the country, and of which over 6 million people have figured out and use. This does not include the millions of others that tried and didn't like it, or evolved up to the Internet (sorry if I offend any AOL'ers, but the day will come when you log-on with your online opposable thumb). This is the online software they give to parolees and vagrants. This is the software that is behind every third paper towel in public restrooms and are stuck to the floor of movie theaters. It is so popular because ANYONE CAN USE IT. Even if you never learn how to control satellite orbits from the "WELCOME!" window, there is one thing that they are even training cockroaches to do after a nuclear war: Send email on AOL. I will not know (or perhaps ever understand) what was 'labor intensive' about AOL email until Tuesday, so I cannot share that with you, kind reader. For that matter, I may never bring up again as the concept has the mental equivalent of snorting paint thinner. I did want to share this to demonstrate a point that those of us without children have not learned yet. Do you remember giving the LAMEST excuses to your parents, thinking you had pulled one over on them? "Who knocked over the milk?" "Maybe it just FELL over!" "Are you asleep?" "Yeah." "I told you not to do this." "Well Dad said it was ok!" Bull. We never pulled any of crap-excuses over on them. I'm told when you're a parent, you realize what kind of a BS artist you THOUGHT you were at that age. To me, this whole email issue is the childhood/online version of this. "Do think your Mother is an idiot? Go to your room until you're ready to use AOL email, and that means without dinner young man!" Capone capone@dimensional.com =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... = = Internet : jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = gote land +27.31.441115 = = Arrested Development +31.77.3547477 = = Global Chaos +61.2.681.2837 = = Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Undrgrnd Indust/Inc. 207.490.2158 = = Damnation 212.861.0580 Damnation -Toll Free 888.803.8490 = = Hacker's Haven 303.516.9969 Unearthly Shadows 303.683.1443 = = E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 = = Dungeon Sys. 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All files copyright by the original author = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= (11/25/96)