BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News COPYRIGHT 1993 ISSN 1055-4548 January 1993 Volume 6, Issue 1 Table Of Contents ----------------- Article Title Author Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff From The Editor................................Scott Hollifield Letters to the Editor..........................BTN Readers BBSing In The Real World.......................Damion Furi Installing 4DOS on a PC........................Jeffrey Morley Principia Discordia............................Discordians Local Music in January.........................Judy Ranelli Carnal Chameleon Quarterly [promo].............Chris Mohney Disktop Publishing Association [promo].........Mark Maisel The Bill of Rights.............................Our Founding Fathers BTN ProFile: Gwendolyn Norton..................The Bishop Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for damage due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions, etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN, even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood of such damages occurring. With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article. Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles, please forward a copy of your publication to: Mark Maisel Publisher, BTN 606 Twin Branch Terrace BHAM, AL 35216 (205) 823-3956 We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing all of this and not get too serious about it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- F R E E B I E : G E T I T W H I L E I T S H O T ! The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no charge to any existing upload/download ratios. ADAnet One Alter-Ego Bone Yard Bus System Channel 8250 Crunchy Frog DC Info Exchange F/X BBS Gateway BBS Homewood's Hell Hole Joker's Castle Lemon Grove Martyrdom Again?! The MATRIX Milliways BBS Night Watch The Outer Limits Owlabama BBS Owl's Nest Playground Safe Harbor Southern Stallion Starbase 12 Teasers BBS T.G.U.E. BBS Thy Master's Dungeon Weekends BBS (Please note that this list includes some systems which are not local to Birmingham and therefore not included on our BBS Numbers list.) If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let me know via The Matrix or Crunchy Frog so that I can post your board as a free BTN distributor. Thanks. SH ----------------------------------------------------------------------- N E W S F L A S H BTN PUBLISHES THE CORRECT NUMBERS FOR THE CRUNCHY FROG! For the first time in our new administration, the BBS list is accurate, at least in this regard. (See Known BBS Numbers list at the end of the issue, to verify for yourself.) BTN WRITERS WANTED! DESPERATELY! See "From The Editor" for details. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- From the Editor by Scott Hollifield Well, I hope everyone had a decent December, whatever holiday you may celebrate. Thanks to the holidays, this issue will be a little late getting out, and it'll also look a little different from most issues. Instead of all-original material, I had to scrounge a little to get enough articles to make a whole BTN. The 4DOS article was written two or three years ago by Jeffrey Morley; I took it from the Crunchy Frog's download library. Not knowing anything about the subject, I hope SOMEONE can still find it useful. Also, from the Frog's libraries, we're printing an excerpt from the Principia Discordia, a tome of wisdom written by some very strange people who would probably like for you to give them money. Whether you do so or not is completely up to your own free will, such that it is. And you'll notice that I slipped in a piece of very choice reading, of which everyone should be cognizant: the Bill of Rights to our nation's Constitution. Desperation on my part, true, but you could find worse things to read. We still managed to get in a few pieces from our local and beloved stable of writers. The Bishop's ProFile on Gwendolyn Norton, which he turned in about five minutes too late for last issue, is here, and Judy Ranelli continues her opinion-spiced recap of the coming month's musical events. And please welcome Damion Furi to our little family. You'll be seeing more of his writing here, since I have no less than two more of his articles ready to be published. To boot, we also have another letter. Hey, not too bad after all. Still, if we want to see something a little more original than excepts from the Constitution, more contributions are going to have to come in. If you have any kind of writing at all, I'd love to see it. The way you submit something to BTN is, you upload it as a private submission to The Matrix or the Crunchy Frog, and let me know about it in a private message. That's it. I'm running so late this month I don't even have time for a proper editorial. So let's get to the rest of the issue. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Letters to the Editor From: David Hogan Posted on: The Matrix This is a response to the latest BTN issue [Dec. '92, "BBS Business or Hobby"]. This may be added to the ongoing comments in that article. I've already expressed to Rocky how valuable the Matrix has been to me, starting a business, and watching two toddlers as well, The Matrix has been both a wealth of information I would not have time to search out at the local libraries, and a outlet for my state of mind. As far as the direction of BBS's I feel that lies with the operators intent. As a user I will decide which one fit my needs, when they do I intend to contribute in some way, as I do on the Matrix, and feel the subscription cost on the Matrix to be one of the best investments I ever made. However even with the gracious amount of extended time I enjoy from subscribing, I try to never stay online for one session for more than an hour. Yes I paid my money but I feel it no different than if I was keeping people at the library from enjoying something because I'm too greedy to get out of the way and give someone else a chance. So, while I am a consumer, in so many words, I feel an obligation to respect the board that I contribute to and be courteous to others. And more important to be attentive to the operator of the boards concerns. If he or she is worried anbout their lines being tied up, then I will do my business and chat some other time when I see less people on line. I think that most people(I may be wrong) are willing to comply with any little needs that the board has. At any rate I'm greatful to anyone who has taken the time to provide a BBS to the public. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- BBSing In The Real World by Damion Furi I purchased my first modem in the Spring of this year. I paid $80 for a QuickTel 9600/2400 fax/modem. I knew that wasn't very fast, but I was more interested in the fax capability - it was the cheapest "fax machine" I could find. The professional benefits of having an internal fax card are too numerous to mention here, and beside the point as well. A few months prior to this, a friend of mine had introduced me to a few local BBSs (The Crunchy Frog and The Matrix, and one or two others), but I had all the responsibilities I could eat and didn't have the free time to indulge in "calling a bunch of computer geeks." Talk about being outside looking in! I think about my old attitude sometimes, and I'm able to laugh at myself and acknowledge how much I've grown and how much I've learned thanks to the Birmingham area's BBS offerings. I owe more than I could ever hope to repay to the sysops out there that have been extremely generous with their time, their advice, and their technical knowledge. I owe a similar debt of gratitude to the many users out there that have been equally helpful. I could easily clog up this issue with a list, but I won't do that. I'll simply say, "Thanks!" to those who have been so helpful, and take it on faith that they know whom I'm addressing. The Birmingham area BBS community continually amazes me. It is almost as if none of these people have ever taken part in the rude, selfish, self-centered so-called "real" world. Oh, sure. There are obnoxious people on the boards. I'm not saying otherwise. But they are outnumbered roughly 100 to 1 by a generous, helpful, intelligent, educated, and informed user base. Offline is another story... I knew a fair amount about computers before I signed on to my first BBS with my new modem. I can't begin to describe the blow to my ego when I discovered, first, that I was out of my depth, and second, that here were several thousand people that knew much more about computers. I felt almost as if I had never touched a computer before! What it boils down to is this: I experienced my first case of culture shock. For the most part, I've gotten over it. But I still endure minor flashbacks occasionally. It keeps me somewhat reigned-in, if not exactly humble. I've been very active on the boards ever since I discovered the variety of people and interests available - which amazes me, because I'm not the most sociable person on the planet. And, too, I had thought, at first, that I would be more interested in trying to swallow The Matrix's file directories whole than in carrying on online conversations. As it stands, I have downloaded relatively few files at all. My phone directory carries more than 100 BBS numbers, though I am active on only a handful of them. I maintain accounts on most of them, though, for odd occasions and odder moods. I spend quite a bit of time playing on the modem. I won't try to estimate it, though, because I don't really care to confront that much fact all at once. Suffice it to say that I spend enough time online - or on online-related activities - that people have made jokes about me disappearing from the "real" world entirely. But I have thought about that. Some people would prefer that I do "normal" things, like watch television or read the newspaper. Well, I despise television, and newspapers aren't a hell of a lot better. I listen to NPR, switch back and forth between 95 & 99, and listen to my tapes. I pick up more hard facts, information, and ideas from the boards. Otherwise, I read a lot. That pretty well accounts for most of my free time. The "real" world? Screw it. If push comes to shove, the "real" world sucks. It stinks on ice. I can smell it from here. The people are obnoxious, arrogant, ignorant, provincial, and rude. I've been told to "get a life." Why? I have two lives, and I'm happy with both of them. I live with my girlfriend and her two children, and I work and I play. And then I have my life on the boards... ------ Damion Furi owns Freelance Support Services, an administrative and computer support service primarily serving other freelancers, which he runs from home. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Installing 4DOS on a PC by Jeffrey Morley I have now installed the 4Dos operating system replacement on my PC at home, and have to say that this is the finest piece of ShareWare to come along since List (or possibly Qedit). 4Dos replaces the DOS command processor (Command.Com), adding a slew of new INTERNAL commands, and enhancing many of the old. The real advantage of 4Dos is that it can replace many of the TSR and utility programs that you currently have, with instant online help, and all DOS original commands supported. Why do I say that you can replace TSR and utility programs? Look at what it did for me... My old program: Replacement: ------------------- ------------------ Move.Com - Moves files Internal Move command across Dirs and Drives. including across drives. History or Ced Internal command line Command line edit/recall. edit/recall with options. KeyFake or Stakcey Keyfake capabilities built Fake keys to progs/batch. in - Driver in Config.Sys Sweep - Perform actions Internal Global command. across directories. DelBut - Deletes all "but" Internal Except command. specified filespec. (Works on ALL commands, not just DEL.) Various SDir Cdir... Internal enhanced DIR with directory programs. tons of options! CDD - changes directories Internal CDD command. and drives with one command. Various environment editors Internal ESet command to change environment. Tons of Xtree clones to Internal Select command to manage files. perform point/tag & shoot actions on files. PushDir/PopDir - to save Internal PushD and PopD the current directory in commands to do this. a batch, and restore at completion. All of the commands that I have listed as internal (including an interal version of LIST itself!) are truly internal. They execute instantly! Let's go on with a few goodies, before I start with the warnings/tips: * The batch file commands have been enhanced and added to. * Commands can be stacked on one command line with separator char. * ECHO can be turned off at bootup, eliminating @Echo in .BAT files. * Internal Stopwatch to time program execution. * Built in capability to add descriptions to directories. * Fantasic Alias command, much like CED's alias capabilities. * Enhanced ANSI.SYS included, with better speed and more functions. * 4Dos can be loaded into 64K of EMS memory (all but about 5K), or "disk swap" mode if you have no EMS. This means 4Dos takes up LESS memory than IBM/MS DOS 3.3, with lots of added capabilities. * So far, I have found 4Dos to be comletely at home on my system. I have a 20mhz 286 class machine, with 1 meg of EMS (not EEMS, but it's not required for 4Dos operation.) I am also running VFeature 2.7 to partition a 60meg drive - RLL'd (Omti) to 91meg. I have a Paradise bottom-of-the-line VGA card. There have been no conflicts with IBMBIO or IBMDOS, and all DOS commands function normaly (except those replaced with commands of the same name, and those work better!). Now the warnings/tips: Tip! 4Dos should NOT be the entry in the Comspec environment variable, as shelling out to another command processor in this case will eat up 57k of additional RAM memory. You should boot from 4Dos, and then be sure to set Command.Com as the Comspec entry. I will give an example of this in a second. This is needed becuase the second 4Dos command processor loaded via any kind of "shell" will load the entire 57K program into RAM. Shelling to Command.Com will solve this, although you won't be able to use the interal 4Dos commands while in the shell. You are supposed to be able to load the second 4Dos command processor in EMS as well, but I have found this method to be a tad touchy, probably because I use the rest of my EMS for caching. Use the following line in your Config.Sys if you have EMS: SHELL=C:\4DOS.COM /S:E /E:1024 /p or this one if you don't have EMS, and want to "disk swap" the program. Don't worry, it's still VERY fast: SHELL=C:\4DOS.COM /S:D /E:1024 /p Use the following line in your Autoexec.Bat: SET COMSPEC=C:\COMMAND.COM Now when you ALT-R out of QModem, you will be "shelling" to Command.Com (6K) instead of another copy of 4Dos (57k!). EXIT still returns you to your program, and back into the 4Dos environment. Tip! 4Dos has an internal LIST command, and this functions much like Vern Buerg's LIST.COM. But it ain't... You may want to use the ALIAS command to set up the following alias: ALIAS LIST=C:\UTIL\LIST.COM This will force 4Dos to use the loadable LIST.COM in your \UTIL directory instead of the internal version. Tip! The 4Dos internal DIR command defaults to sorting the directory by filename, so be careful of using things that are dependant on where in the directory the files are listed. An example of this would be PCopy's /F: /L: parmeters to start/stop at certain files. You can use the /OU parameter on the DIR command to get an unsorted listing. Tip! I suspect that the version of ANSI.SYS supplied with the program may have a few bugs, or conflicts with my hardware in some way. I can't consistantly get bright colors with the esc[1;xxm command, and some things using DOS/ANSI calls have come up in strange colors. Speed106.Com (a little gizmo to test your processor speed) now is in Cyan instead of the normal Yellow. I have gone back to using NAnsi or ZAnsi or even DOS' original ANSI.SYS. They work fine in the 4Dos environment though. My conclusion is that 4Dos may well be the answer for many of you who like the power you get using lots of TSR and utility programs, but don't want to give up the RAM or the time lost in loading them. The version I have been testing is 4Dos 2.0(a), and is available on my system as 4DOS20A.ZIP. Don't forget that you are REPLACING your command processor, so be sure to: 1) READ the documentation that comes with the program. I have given some brief examples of a setup for MY machine, but you may want/need to modify parameters. 2) Back-up your hard drive before installing. 3) Have a DOS boot disk handy in case you don't have the same success I did. Jeffrey S. Morley Sysop, The Interconnect BBS (703) 827-5762 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (A file consisting of excerpts from the PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA, a non-copyright book which serves as a "bible" for Discordians. It may answer some questions about Discordianism -- but, then again, it may not.) (Eris = Goddess of Confusion; slightly adapted from Greek mythology.) (For the complete book, write to: Loompanics Unlimited, PO Box 1197, Port Townsend, WA 98368 - unsolicited advertisement.) PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA The Magnum Opiate of Malaclypse the Younger (excerpts) ALL RITES REVERSED (K) REPRINT WHAT YOU LIKE Dedicated to the Prettiest One POEE is one manifestation of the DISCORDIAN SOCIETY about which you will learn more and understand less We are a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns, and similar maniacs who are intrigued with ERIS GODDESS OF CONFUSION and with Her Doings "There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true" --Neils Bohr. ON PRAYER: Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words: No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood. THE LAW OF FIVES: The Law of Fives is one of the oldest Erisian Mysterees. It was first revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great contributions to come from the Hidden Temple of the Happy Jesus. POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatius, KNS, into his Discordian sect, the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria. The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO FIVE. The Law of Fives is never wrong. In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: "I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look." POEE (Pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for the PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be taken to mean "equivalent deity, reversing beyond-mystique". We are not really esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us. MY HIGH REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the High Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded his episkopotic revelations of The Goddess. The POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian Society, which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by temporaly and spatially locating the rest of Mal-2. POEE has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's pineal gland, and has only one scruple -- which Mal-2 keeps on his key chain. POEE has not registered, incorporated, or otherwise chartered with the State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE Ordinations, which is only fair, because POEE does not recognise the State. ORDINATION AS A POEE PRIEST: There are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you want to be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtably qualify. Who could possibly know better than you whether or not you should be Ordained? NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY The Discordian Society has no definition. I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont. prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you like. An EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say they like what he says. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own sect. If you want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what you wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't. There are no rules anywhere. The Goddess Prevails. The Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that believe in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them that believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't. -- HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1 CONVENTIONAL CHAOS GREYFACE In the year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of Greyface, got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as he, and he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted the ways of Serious Order. "Look at all that order about you," he said. And from that, he deluded honest men to believe that reality was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men had known it. It is not presently understood why men were so gullible at that particular time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the DISORDER around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway, Greyface and his followers took the game of playing at life more seriously than they took life itself and were known even to destroy other living beings whose ways of life differed from their own. The unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been suffering from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance causes frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes a bad trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now. It is called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE. HERE FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS. If you are not hot for philosophy, best just skip it. The Aneristic Principle is that of APPARENT ORDER; the Erisitic Principle is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are man made CONCEPTS and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which is a level deeper than is the level of distinction making. With our concept making apparatus called "mind" we look at reality through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us. The ideas- about-reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and unenlightened people are forever perplexed by the fact that other people, especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only the ideas-about-reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a level deeper than is the level of concept. We look through the world through windows on which have been drawn grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A culture is a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a window we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and thereby understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic Principle. Western philosophy is traditionally concerned with contrasting one grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a perfect one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say unenlightened westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we Erisians call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful than others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant than others, etc., but none can be more True than any other. DISORDER is simply unrelated information viewed through some particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept. Male, like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is "absence of female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and metaphysically arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE. The belief that "order is true" and disorder is false or somehow wrong, is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the ERISTIC ILLUSION. The point is that (little-t) truth is a matter of definition relative to the grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth, metaphysical reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and through it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered. Pick another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently ordered and disordered. Reality is the ultimate Rorschach. THE LAST WORD The foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the Goddess Herself through many consultations with Her within his Pineal Gland. It is guaranteed to be the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to state that Goddess doesn't always say the same thing to each listener, and that other Episkoposes are sometimes told quite different things in their Revelations, which are also the Word of Goddess. Consequently, if you prefer a Discordian Sect other than POEE, then none of these Truths are binding, and it is a rotten shame that you have read all the way down to the very last word. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- January Music Treats by Judy Ranelli Sun. 3 REV. HORTON HEAT/BARKING TRIBE at The Nick Okay, I know you may be reading this too late, but the Rev. Horton Heat is going to be at the Nick and he is well worth the hangover Monday morning. If you missed it, and are a dedicated follower of cool bands, you can see him at the Ivory Tusk in Tuscaloosa on Monday the 18th. His excellent rock-a-vegas album was produced on a four track. Barking Tribe opens featuring a new drummer, keyboardist and saxist. Mon. 4 ITCHY WIGS at The Nick I zipped over to their December show on my break from work last week to see 10 minutes of Mark Kimbrell's innovative jazz guitar. The 15 minute drive there and back was time well spent. Go see this. Thur. 7 TONY LOMBARDO QUARTET at Dugan's My brother plays drums for this jazz quartet, but I like them anyway. Tony Lombardo, guitarist, is also the teacher of a UAB Special Studies class about the Andy Griffith show. Also Thurs. 14. Fri. 8 HILLBILLY FRANKENSTEIN/MAN OR ASTROMAN at The Nick I told you Hillbilly Frankenstein is a kitchy-Blue Velvet soundtrack-Russ Meyers film poster band last month. And as an added bonus, Man or Astroman is a weirder-than-50's-sci-fi-fans-watching-"Plan 9 From Outer Space"-and playing-Twister-band. Wed. 13 PINKY THE STABBER at The Nick They play three Wednesdays this month: the 13, 20, and 27. They did 'Felize Navidad' for me for Christmas. And they are mind blowingly good. Sat. 16 DEREK TRUCKS at The Nick Irregardless of whether or not you like Allman Brothers covers, it is strange to see a preteen boy playing perfect slide guitar. Especially if, like me, you never figured out how to play slide in the first place. Sun. 17 VOVA NOVA/AUTUMN LORDS at The Nick Birmingham giants Vova Nova are performing with Autumn Lords, featuring Chris Lowery (formerly of Electric Circus) singing, and several other fellows I don't know. Chris dented my car hood by pushing a Nick bartendress onto it in a drunken parking lot dance. But he is quite talented and we have affectionately dubbed him "Lush King". Mon. 18 SPACE CAMP at The Nick No, the Nick is not paying me for these endorsements. It's just the way the band lineup fell together. Space Camp just gets better and better. Don Tinsely is the high priest of cheap speaker feedback and I am his humble follower. Wed. 20 SPIN DOCTORS at The Alabama Theatre You like 'em? Go see 'em. I don't know anything about them. But I like the Alabama. [tickets available through Fastix] Fri. 22 FIVE EIGHT/TOMBSTONES at The Nick Georgia onslaught. Bring ear plugs. Wear dance shoes. Or drive to Pensacola and see me play at Sluggo's. Sat. 23 THURN AND TAXIS/THE SLEEPYS at The Nick Someone told me Thurn and Taxis is a great band. I will be off work, so I'll probably go see them. Wed. 27 MR. BUBBLE/OTEYS at The Nick Happy Sam Timberlake, my amp repairman (and he's a good one), who used to live in a pink house, writes strange and inventive ska-pop with upbeat melodies and cynical lyrics. I like them. Sat. 9 STRUTTER (a "Kiss cover band") Sat. 30 DUST AND BONES (a "Guns and Roses tribute band") at Louie Louie I saw the Back Doors' singer imitate Morrison. I saw Stairway to Heaven's drummer plod through the solo on 'Moby Dick' for at least 10 minutes with triggered lights flashing. I was embarrassed for them. Some people enjoy tribute bands, and since they only rarely tour through here you might want to give one a try. *I* don't want to see someone imitate Axl Rose; however, seeing blood spatter and flames fly in a small club might sound tempting enough for me to peek in on Strutter's show. But if you're gonna see this, why not spend some money some other time on a local band? We need you. REMEMBER: All Dates, Locations, Performers, ad infinitum SUBJECT TO CHANGE. ---- Judy Ranelli plays guitar for a local band called the Ticks, and knows more about being hip than you do. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [The following is a unpaid promotional announcement. My payment is, as always, the continual furtherance of justice and truth in the world. -SH] Feeling left out because you're not a card-carrying member of the cultural elite? Then suffer no longer, friend! ANNOUNCING ..... the debut of the Southeast's newest and most profoundly innovative small press magazine. After a long and painful struggle, not unlike giving birth to a mongoloid with an unusually large skull diameter, the first issue of Carnal Chameleon Quarterly is completed and ready for sale. Edited-in-chieftanship by Chris Mohney, called by some "the most powerful man in show business," CCQ prominently features the best in new-wave protosurrealist metafiction, with some poetry and artwork thrown in. For the first issue, in addition to the usual crowd of Yanks, we have writers from England and Canada as well, so splurge on a copy and recreate yourself in your own image. Sample copies are $4.50, and subscriptions are $14.00 a year (4 issues). Check or money order payable to Carnal Chameleon Quarterly. We're also looking for submissions of poetry, fiction and artwork for the succeeding issues. Complete guidelines can be had by sending an SASE to our address below, or you can just go ahead and submit. We're also open to correspondence, comments and suggestions. Send all missives to: Carnal Chameleon Quarterly PO Box 11206 Tuscaloosa, AL 35486-9669 Thank ewe! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- [Here follows a reprint of the DPA promotion we ran last month. Some editions of the December BTN made it out without this item, so I said I'd print it again. It was submitted by Mark Maisel. - SH] Disktop Publishing Association Official Member Announcement November 1992 is Disktop Publishing Month The Disktop Publishing Association (DPA) is publicly promoting paper-free publishing this November for the first time. This form of publishing covers a wide world of electronic publications. The DPA is an Association of computer users who are interested in writing, publishing, distributing and reading electronic documents of all varieties. DP includes fictional works, technical and reference documentation, instructional material, catalogs and directories, poetry, hardware and software reviews, magazines, and every other imaginable category of publication. Each is prepared electronically with an ASCII text editor or word processor. They are then edited electronically for spelling, punctuation, grammar and content. A reader software package must be selected depending upon the document type and content. Graphical images may be included in VGA level documents and readers. They are then distributed via disk, via BBS and via E-Mail systems. Paper-free disk based publications are the trend of the future in document publishing for individual authors, corporations and governments alike. They save time, money, and natural resources while providing more writers the opportunity to publish works important to their respective field. The ease with which revisions, updates and new editions are published literally makes the printing of paper based documents obsolete. Contact the Disktop Publishing Association today for more information. Ron Albright Disktop Publishing Association 1160 Huffman Road Birmingham, AL 35215 Phone 205-853-8269 Fax 205-853-8478 BBS 205-854-1660 ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The First Ten Amendments to the Constitution of the United States (otherwise known as The Bill of Rights) 1st Amendment Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances. 2nd Amendment A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. 3rd Amendment No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quarters in any house, without the consent of the owner; nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law. 4th Amendment The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated; and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized. 5th Amendment No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous, crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service, in time of war, or public danger; nor shall any person be subject, for the same offence, to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled, in any criminal case, to be a witness against himself; nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. 6th Amendment In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law; and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor; and to have the assistance of counsel for his defence. 7th Amendment In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved; and no fact, tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the United States than according to the rules of the common law. 8th Amendment Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishment inflicted. 9th Amendment The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. 10th Amendment The powers not delegated to the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by citizens of another State or by citizens or subjects of any foreign state. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- BTN ProFile by The Bishop ----------- The ProFile is a light-hearted attempt at allowing the BBS community to get to know the selected user or sysop better. The harassees...er... candidates for the ProFile are selected purely by random (or maybe not - read up on 'chaos'). If anyone has any suggestions for questions to be included in the ProFile or for users to be harassed by the ProFile, then feel free to E-Mail them to me (The Bishop on Crunchy Frog, or Aaron Dees on most other boards in town)... ----------- PRO FILE: Gwendolyn Norton Age: 17 Birthplace: Durham, NC (known to locals as Duuuuuuurm) Occupation: Student and god My hobbies include: Knitting exciting underwear for llamas and lamas Years telecomputing: Almost 1 Sysop, past/present/future of: None, none, and someday I will have an entire LlamaNet Empire and take over the world and force all who oppose me to listen to '70's dance music. My oddest habit is: My handshaking fetish My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: to shake Albert Eistein's hand The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is: remembering which fork to use first My favorite performers are: Monty Python, Jim Cummings (he does almost every cartoon voice on FOX), Tony the Tailess Llama, Gorbachev (he faked the coup for publicity) The last good movie I saw was: AKIRA The last good book I read was: The Metamorphosis or The Vampire Lestat If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played by: Elvis. He came over last week and discussed the deal extensively with me. Unfortunately, he wanted more money than the production could offer. However, the aliens that brought him back for a visit said that they are more than willing to give give the part a go. My pet peeves are: Writing a message of incredible wit and humor and having no one reply to it. I also hate it when I walk into doors. When nobody's looking, I like to: Count my vertebrae to make sure that they're all there. Sometimes I get other people to do this for me (blindfolded, of course! Otherwise they'd be looking.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SIG's (Special Interest Groups), Computer Related ------------------------------------------------- BEPCUG CCS Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128) 3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga) Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM BCCC BIPUG Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541 UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week 2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday) Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883 BACE FAOUG Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users Enthusiast Group Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library 2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200 CADUB BGS/CIG CAD Users of Birmingham Birmingham Genealogical Society/ Homewood Library Computer Interest Group 3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM Birmingham Public Library Bobby Benson 791-0426 3rd Floor Auditorium 2rd Sunday, 2:30 PM Robert Matthews 631-9783 or Bone Yard BBS RAHSPCUG Ramsay Alternative High School PC Users Group Ramsay High School 1800 13th Avenue South last Wednesday of each month (September-April) from 3:02-3:35 Lee Nocella 581-5120 SIG's, Non-Computer Related --------------------------- BBC Birmingham Astronomy Club Blue Box Companions Subject: Astronomy Subject: Dr. Who Red Mountain Museum Annex Hoover Library 4th Tuesday, 7:30PM 1st Saturday, 2PM-5PM If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed, please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on The Matrix BBS. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area Special notes: Mark always told me that updating the BBS list was ten times more time- consuming than everything else involved with BTN, and he was right. In fact, this process is so tedious, I'm going to cut back very very slightly on the way I do this. Don't panic! Just keep reading. Normally, I call every board every month, and check the conference listings to see if any networks have been dropped or added. However, this is not always easy to do. Sometimes I'm not sure about the status of a network or something, and I have to drop the sysop a line about it, which involves calling back before deadline. So for this month, I didn't take the trouble to check everyone's network connections. I checked SOME of them, but I didn't go very far out of my way to do it. And this not to say that I won't have time to do it next month. I'm just letting everyone know that the networks section of the list is not as studiously verified as it once was. In a lot of cases, just making sure that the board was still up satisfied me. This is more important for sysops than for non-sysops. If you're a sysop, I strongly suggest that you examine your listing with a keen eye and let me know if the networks, or anything else in the listing, needs updating. And if any non-sysops notice anything that needs changing, that would also be ultra-peachy fine-cool. As said elsewhere, I can most easily be reached via email on The Matrix or Crunchy Frog. - Scott Hollifield NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE SUPPORTED TYPE ADAnet One (Nodes 1-3) 854-9074 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5 [ez, fi, ad] ADAnet One (Node 4) 854-5863 9600-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, fi, ad] Alter-Ego BBS 925-5099 1200-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml] Asgard 663-9171 300-9600 V.32 WWIV 4.21a [ez, al, te] Baudville (Node 1) 640-4593 300-2400 Major BBS 6.02 [none] Baudville (Node 2) 640-4639 300-2400 Major BBS 6.02 [none] Baudville (Node 3) 640-7243 300-2400 Major BBS 6.02 [none] Baudville (Node 4) 640-7286 300-2400 Major BBS 6.02 [none] Bert's BBS 424-2872 300-2400 WWIV 4.21 [none] Bone Yard, The 631-6023 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5 [fi, ez] Bus System 987-5419 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2 [none] Byte Me! 979-BYTE! 2400-14400 USR HST WWIV 4.12 [ez, th, al] Cannibal Cafe 942-9576 300-2400 VBBS 5.52 [none] Castle, The 841-7618 300-2400 C-Base 2.0 [none] Castle Rock 995-9900 1200-19200 VBBS 5.52 [vi, al] Channel 8250 (Node 1) 744-8546 300-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, un] Channel 8250 (Node 2) 744-5166 300-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, un] Christian Apologetic 808-0763 300-14400 V.32bis Wildcat! 3.55 [wi, bc] Crunchy Frog (Node 1) 823-3956 300-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml, lu] Crunchy Frog (Node 2) 823-3957 300-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml, lu] DataLynx 328-7688 300-2400 WWIV 4.21 [ez] Deep Space 9 980-1089 300-14400 Wildcat! 3.51 [di] Den, The 933-8744 300-9600 USR HST ProLogon/ProDoor [ez, ml, il] Disktop Publishing 854-1660 300-9600 V.32 Wildcat! 3.01 [pl] Drawing Room 951-2391 300-2400 Wildcat! 3.02 [di] EcoBBS 933-2238 300-2400 WWIV 4.22 [al] F/X BBS (Node 1) 823-5777 300-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ri, cc] F/X BBS (Node 2) 822-4570 300-14400 V.32bis PCBoard 14.5 [ri, cc] F/X BBS (Node 3) 822-4526 300-14400 V.32bis PCBoard 14.5 [ri, cc] Family Smorgas-Board 744-0943 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5 [ez, fi, mj, bc, fa, ic, cf, cd, np, ag, hs, ve] Flip Side 798-3961 300-2400 Renegade 8.27 [none] Forest Palace 942-4581 300-57600 V.42bis VBBS 5.52 [none] Gateway BBS 425-8772 300-2400 Image 1.2 [none] Genesis Online (Nodes 1-4) 620-4144 300-14400 V.32bis Major BBS 5.3 [mr] Graphics Zone (Node 1) 870-5306 300-2400 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16) [none] Graphics Zone (Node 2) 870-5329 300-2400 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16) [none] Hacker's Corner 674-5449 1200-2400 MNP4 PCBoard 14.5 [none] Hardeman's BBS 640-6436 1200-14400 Wildcat! 3.51 [wi, di, bc] The Headland BBS 991-0947 300-2400 VBBS 5.52 [he] HellBound BBS 444-9043 2400-14400 USR DS VBBS 5.52 [none] Homewood's Hell Hole 870-9067 2400-14440 V.32bis VBBS 5.52 [he] Hoots With Owls 520-9540 1200-14400 V.32bis TriBBS 3.3 [cc, tr] Illuminatus BBS 871-0489 1200-9600 VBBS 5.52 [vi, al] Intruder Enterprizes 969-0870 300-9600 V.32 VBBS 5.52 [vi, al] Island BBS 870-4685 2400-9600 V.32 Hermes 2.0 [fi] Joker's Castle 664-5589 300-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml, un] KickAxis BBS 733-0253 1200-14400 USR DS VBBS 5.52 [none] Last Word 663-4721 300-2400 VBBS 5.52 [none] Lemon Grove 836-1184 300-12000 V.32/42bis SLBBS 2.25 [fi, sl] Lion & The Unicorn 424-1599 1200-57600 VBBS 5.52 [none] Magic City 664-9883 300-14400 V.32bis Wildcat! 3.55 [cc] Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300-14400 USR HST PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml] MATRIX, The (Nodes 1-13) 323-2016 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml, th, il, in, al, sh, sc, gl] MATRIX, The (Nodes 20-23) 323-6016 9600-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml, th, il, in, al, sh, sc, gl] MATRIX, The (Node 25) 458-3449 9600-14400 V.32 PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml, th, il, in, al, sh, sc, gl] MetaBoard 254-3344 300-14400 USR DS Opus [fi] Milliways BBS 956-3177 2400-14440 V.32 VBBS 5.52 [he] Missing Link 853-1257 300-14400 USR HST C-Net Amiga 2.31 [none] Neon Moon 477-5894 300-2400 TriBBS 3.1 [none] Night Watch 841-2790 1200-14400 USR DS TriBBS 3.3 [cc, tr, di, fi] Nirvana 942-6702 300-14400 VBBS 5.52 [al, vi] Outer Limits (Node 1) 425-5871 1200-9600 USR HST Wildcat! 3.01 [fi] Outer Limits (Node 2) 426-2939 1200-9600 V.32bis Wildcat! 3.01 [fi] Outer Realm 856-7034 300-2400 WWIV 4.21 [none] Owlabama BBS 856-2521 300-14400 GTPower 17.00 [gt] Owl's Nest 680-0851 300-14400 USR DS PCBoard 14.5 [ez, ml, lu] Party Line 856-1336 300-14000 V.32bis TriBBS 2.11 [cc, tr, di] Penny Arcade 699-4625 300-2400 Running Force! 3.75 [none] Playground 836-4200 300-14000 V.32 TriBBS 3.3 [tr, di, cc, ez, al] Posys BBS 854-5131 300-9600 V.32 [none] Razor's Edge 995-0412 300-2400 VBBS 5.52 [he] Reaper's Keep 853-6560 300-2400 Supra 128 4.2 [none] Safe Harbor (Node 1) 665-4332 300-2400 GTPower 17.00 [gt, ez] Safe Harbor (Node 2) 665-4355 300-14400 USR DS GTPower 17.00 [gt, ez] Safety BBS 581-2866 300-2400 RBBS-PC 17.4 [none] Sleepy Hollow 970-0518 300-2400 VBBS 5.52 [none] Sperry BBS 853-6144 300-2400 V.32/42bis PCBoard 14.5 [none] ST BBS 836-9311 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2 [ez] StarBase 12 647-7184 300-2400 TriBBS 3.1 [none] Southern Stallion 699-4797 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5 [ez, th, lu, an] Teasers 987-0122 300-2400 WWIV 4.20 [al] T.G.U.E. BBS 681-0002 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5 [none] Thy Master's Dungeon 940-2116 300-9600 V.32 PCBoard 14.5 [none] Torch Song 328-1517 300-2400 Wildcat 3.01 [pr, se, st, do] Trauma Room 823-9127 300-9600 VBBS 5.52 [vi, al, ww, lo] Viper's Pit 856-2464 300-9600 V.32 WWIV 4.21 [al] Weekends BBS 841-8583 300-14400 USR DS Wildcat! 3.50 [none] Willie's DYM (Node 1) 664-9902 300-2400 Oracomm Plus [or] Willie's DYM (Node 2) 664-9903 300-2400 Oracomm Plus [or] Willie's DYM (Node 3) 664-9895 300-2400 Oracomm Plus [or] Willie's DYM (Node 4) 664-9896 300-2400 Oracomm Plus [or] Word, The 833-2831 300-2400 WWIV 4.12 [al, ez] The many symbols you see prior to the names of many of the bbs' in the list signify that they are members of one or more networks that exchange or echo mail to each other in some organized fashion. ad = ADAnet, an international network dedicated to the handicapped ag = AgapeNet, a national Christian network, multi-topic al = AlaNet, a local network, multi-topic an = Annex Network, uncertain at press time bc = BCBNet, a local network, religion-oriented bh = BhamTalk, a local network, multi-topic cc = City2City, a national network, multi-topic cd = CDN, a national Christian network for file distribution cf = CFN, a national Christian network, multi-topic di = Dixie Net, a regional network, multi-topic geared toward the south eastern United States do = DoorNet, uncertain at press time ez = EzNet, a local IBM compatible network fa = FamilyNet, an international network, multi-topic fi = FidoNet, an international network, multi-topic gl = GlobalLink, an international network, multi-topic gt = GTNet, an international network, multi-topic he = HellNet, a local network, multi-topic hs = Home-School-Net, a national network for home schooling ic = ICDM, an international Christian network, multi-topic il = ILink, an international network, multi-topic in = InterNet, an international network, linking businesses, universities, and bbs', multi-topic lo = LocalNet, uncertain at press time lu = LuciferNet, an international network, adult oriented ma = MAXnet, a local network, connecting WWIV and VBBS systems mj = MJCN, an international network for Messianic Jews ml = Metrolink, an international network which echoes RIME, multi-topic mr = MajorNet, an international network, multi-topic np = NPN, a national network for new parents or = OraNet, a national E-mail network pl = PlanoNet, a national network, multi-topic pr = PrideNet, a local homosexually oriented network ri = RIME, an international network, multi-topic sc = Science Factor Net, a national network, science and technology oriented se = SEC, a regional network, homosexually oriented geared toward the southeastern United States sh = Shades N Shadows Net, a national network for role-playing games sl = SearchlightNet, a national network, multi-topic st = StudsNet, a national network, homosexually oriented te = TECHnet, a local network, hardware and utility oriented th = ThrobNet, an international network, adult oriented tr = TriBBS Net, a national network, multi-topic un = Uni'Net, an international network, multi-topic ve = VETLink, a national network for military veterans vi = VirtualNet, an international network, multi-topic wi = WildNet, a national network, multi-topic ww = WWIV-Net, an international network, multi-topic If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let me know via a message on the main board of The Matrix or Crunchy Frog. The following BBSs appeared to be down or malfunctioning the last time I tried to verify their existence. If you have any information on their status, please drop me a line. The Castle Forest Palace Genesis Online Island BBS Posys BBS Viper's Pit -----------------------------------------------------------------------