The Complete Rooftop File an ANUS production In our many dealings with Houston's sysops in the past, we have rarely encountered individuals as paranoid and as hypocritical as those indigenous to the haven for those ubiquitous and aggravating users who are either supercilious or unintelligent to an exceedingly irritating degree, the Rooftop Hide-Away. The Rooftop Hide-Away is a bulletin board system run for those with a Mack truck perenially up their asses sideways. Its basic tenets are a standard, boring but grammatically correct message base, hundreds of users who call once a month, skip the quickscan and log off, with a few fools who call up often and post strings of meaningless meandering messages. Basically, it's a magnet for people we want off of any other board, especially if it represents at least one intelligent person. When Royal Flush and I started TURD, we posted the number on a few local boards, including the Rooftop. Naturally, we kept the message on Rooftop pretty clean, although it was of dubious intelligence to call in the first place. Anyway, about thirty minutes later, the Raven went on the warpath and deleted the message. We left a note saying we abhorred the censorship but didn't really care and would let the ruling stand, and posted a new, cleaned-up version of the message. Steve Ragsdale had a cow overnight, and called up Flush's parents. The story he told them was, for the most part, and outright fabrication. He made allegations that he could not prove, and capitalized on the fact that Flush's parents are totally ignorant of computers in general. Needless to say, they panicked, and had Flush move the board. And so, to protect the board, we simply moved it to another location and forwarded the number. Ragsdale couldn't hack this either, so he freaked out and called again, finally, to try and put to rest the last bastion of free speech in Houston. We moved TURD again, this time to yet another location and a new number. Steve still couldn't take it, and finally got my number off of a two-year-old userlist on his board and called up my parents. He pulled the same trick as he did last time, and they birthed multiple cows. This time, Steve-0 was threatening empty legal action from a month-old joke in one of our log ons promising a bag of jellybeans to anyone pulling anything on Steve-0 or his co-sysop from the Montrose, Dan Perez, aka The Raven. Of course, Steve has kept me down, as you can see. At this point, I'd like to extend an open invitation to him to moisten my penis with his holy saliva, and give it a good suck. Since his board sucks, I figure he probably knows his way around that sort of thing better than I do. At this time, Steve is guilty of laughably blatant hypocrisy. The word he objected to, TURD, was posted later close to four times in his logon message, describing how he thought we were munchies and how superior Rooftop intelligence and maturity would keep their board happily munching away into the 25th century. We at ANUS really don't care about Steve-0, but since he's decided to play "tough guy" and call our parents without even notifying us that there was a problem, an undoubtedly pusillanimous action in any circumstance, and since he obviously can't bear the thought of talking to us directly like a mature individual, we figure that maybe you, the reader of this text file, would like to get in touch with Steve. Here's his address for some fun - Steve-0 Ragsdale 646 Overbluff Channelview, Texas 77530 (713) 452-4939 Captain Crapp ANUS 09/04/89