===================================== ]%% %%[ ]% CHUCKO'S Guide for %[ ] [ ] Detecting LOZER USERS [ ] [ ] Produced by: [ ] [ ] BIT BY BIT Information Services [ ]%---------------------------------%[ ] A Comprehensive guide designed [ ] to aid the SysOp in the detection [ ] and removal of leeches, lozers, [ ]% assholes and other pests. %[ ]%% %%[ ===================================== Yes folks, another text file on our favorite subject, BBS abusers! When a lozer user logs on to your BBS, he/she may display the following subtile traits: CALLING ------- A lozer user will usually call your system 5-10 times before he figures out that he must flip the switch on his crummy modem to 'data' in order to get any results. After several more calls, he discovers that he gets a much better connection with the other switch in 'originate'. Due to the recent influx of cheap 1200 baud modems(6470, a big mistake) this phase of lozer detection is more difficult because most sysops automatically assume that a 1200 baud user knows what the fuck he is doing. LOGGING ON ---------- Watching a lozer user log on is like watching a fly bat itself against a window. Mindless persistance. After watching for awhile, you will usually find yourself wondering how they managed to dial your number, much less perform the other complex tasks assoc- iated with modem and computer use. What is really fun is switching to another BBS program and counting the number of times the lozer tries his old I.D. before he figures out that he must re-apply. If you have recently deleted the lozer who is trying to log on, you can have a laugh as you watch the already slow typing lozer type his I.D. and PWD slower and slower with every attempt! THE MAIN MENU ------------- The average lozer seems to have some adversion to read the menu, as well as any other text file designed to help a user learn how to use the board. They seem to be more content with trying every posssible combination of letters until they find something that works. He calls this 'hacking'. A lozer does not know how to pause text, but that is not a problem for him because he doesnt read anything anyway. Here is a sample of the first commands usually tried by the lozer: D,DIR,DOW,UPL,UL,UD,U,DOW(again...) After the Board tells him several times that his level is too low, he might try Chat anywhere from 5 to 20 times, or if he is already too taxed mentally from his 'hacking' session, he may simply log off, or before logging off, he may leave you some feedback asking 'how come I can't upload?' (bullshit, never uploaded in his life...) The seasoned lozer aborts (yes, they learn how to abort) every- thing on his blind way to the main prompt(where upon your screen fills up with whatever the abort character is) several seconds later he realizes he has reached the main prompt and tries all commands associated with getting GAMEZ. If for some unknown reason his download attempts are unsuccessful, he will immediately log off or hang up (the leech's 'log off') and hurry to call another board. If you are lucky, he will think your system sucks, and not bother calling back. But usually other systems give him the same treatment, and he calls yours back, out of shear boredom. At this time, he will probably discover some of the other commands on your system by 'hacking' some more. CHAT ---- Heavily abused, need I say more? Well, maybe not, but I will supply a sample chat session anyway: CHAT ENGAGED: L:wHATZ UP? (notice reversed case) S:the price of your ol' lady's puddy. L:dO YUU HAVE (some old game)? S:i formatted the disk last week. L:oH ok. S:is that all you wanted? L:wHEN CANB I GET A LEVBEL RAISDE? (no back space, wonder why?) S:ask me again in 2 years. L:ok.dO YOU HABVE(some other old game) S:get lost, leech. (connection mysteriously lost) Sometimes the better leeches are up on the latest software and, of course, they expect you to give it to them. FEEDBACK(when you dont wanna chat -------- with the asshole) I will also provide a sample feedback. Feedback is rare, due to the fact that most of these assholes hate typing even more than they hate reading.Plus it consumes precious time that could be better spent downloading. From: MASSIVE DUNG BALL [#107] Date: Sun Jul 21, 1986 8:47 PM Access: Scum! Phone: (301)/263-9926 Name: BRANDON GOLDFELTER ====================================== i THINK i AM READSY FOR A LEVVEL RAISDESZ (notice once again, reverse case and no backspace...) i WOULDF KLIKE LEVCEL 8. tHAT WOUYLD BE GREDAT!THANX! i WOUKLD LIKE TO DOWNLOASD(attemps to backspace frantically)UPLOAFD MORE.= dO YOU HASVE ANY GPOOD GAMES? wHY CANTY i BACKLSPOACE? oH, i READF THE FILES(amazing...)ON MCI CAMMONDS BUT i DOENT UDNERSTAD THE THEM.CAN YUPO TELL ME HOW THEY WOLRK? #V0 #P0 oH WELL, TALK TO YPOU LATXER! /e /exit /s /ex /x ..SAVE >>SAVE lET ME OUTT! '.h' help SHIT! HELP ME SYSOP! (hangs up,totally confused) Maybe they leave more feedback than we know about... POSTING MESSAGES ---------------- Lozers don't like to post either. Unless they have something REALLY important to post, like this: #4 'i NEED' By MASSIVE DUNG BALL (UID#107) On Thu Jun 5, 1986 1:00 PM -- No Responses -- dOES ANYONRE HABVE:= rAID OBVER mOSCOW zORK iMPOSSSIBLE mISHION sUMMER GAMNES gOUST bUSTERS gORF i WANTED TO UPLOSAD lEMONADE BUT i dIDNT HAVE THE TIME. iF u WANT TO TRADE,GIVBE ME CA A CALL AT 263-9926. l8TOR dUDEZ! * * ** ** * * * * * a s sb i v e *** * * * * * * **b un ng *** *d * *** * * * * *** a ll!! p.s.dONT CALL AFTER 930 pm CAUDSE mOM WILL TAKE MY COMNPOTER AWAY. ..S AVE '.S' >>save Respond or Private Reply? TEXT FILES ---------- Skip it...lozers do... E-MAIL ------ Once again, the lozer hates typing and will only send E-mail if he thinks he can get gamez by doing it. It will generally look as bad as the sample post & feedback above. I dare not explore the mindless dribble that goes on as 2 lozers send E-mail back and forth to each other. WELL, it would take more typing than I can do in a year to describe all of the traits a lozer might display. But you get the general idea... Now on to: =---------------= ] LOZER REMOVAL [ =---------------= Detection is after all, relatively easy. Removing the lozer can be a real pain in the ass. sure you can simply delete him, but most lozers will simply use that old lozer trick of re-applying under a new name. On a busier BBS that doesnt voice validate everyone, he can slip through and possibly go un-noticed for several days or weeks if he is lucky. But it's only a matter of time before he gets detected again...How about a special level just for lozers, maybe even give them their own message base? Naaaah... Blacklist the fuckheads! force them to call the only boards that will have them! LOZER BBS'S!! Program: 6485 or HAL Baud: 300 Hours: Whenever they're not playing gamez This file was poorly written by CHUCKO with help from DOUBLE D and X-CALIBUR Thanks to the lozers of the world, without whom this file would not have been necessary. Just for the hell of it, call the only BBS with an entrance exam: Hacker's Haven Program:Another Modified C-Net... Baud:300/1200 Hours:24 Number:301-269-5759 Also call(just for the hell of it): The Lunatic Phringe BBS Baud:300/1200 Hours: 24 Number:312-965-3677 British Exchange Program:CMBBSv5.1(CHUCKOMOD!) Baud:300/1200 Hours:24 Number:301-269-7550 T.G.U.B.B.S. Program:CMBBS (TAYLORMOD!) Baud:300/1200 Hours:24 Number:301-263-8718 The BADLANDS Program:CMBBSv5.1 (CHUCKOMOD!) Baud:300/1200 Hours:24 Number:301-974-4870 Be sure and call the other great BBS' located in various states! (unless you're a lozer) Written 7-22-86 Hope you enjoyed it. ========================== ]% %[ ] Now kindly PISS OFF... [ ]% %[ ========================== The Lunatic Phringe BBS 312-965-3677 300/1200 Baud