From: owner-humor To: Multiple recipients of list HUMOR Subject: Fegg!: Intro Date: Saturday, April 09, 1994 9:58AM From _Dr. Fegg's Encyclopedia of *All* World Knowledge_ 1974: Terry Jones & Michael Palin :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: === Introduction to Book === Dr. Fegg's Encyclopaedia of *All* World Knowledge [formerly THE NASTY BOOK] Dr. BERTRAM X. FEGG G.B.H. (Parkhurst) --A living educational legend-- 'Bring the little ones unto me, and I will get a good price for them.' OTHER BOOKS BY DR. FEGG The Bournemouth Killings - An Explanation The Bournemouth Toe-Nailings - What Really Happened Where I was on the Night of the Twenty-sixth Why I have Never Even Been to Bournemouth The Bournemouth Killings - Another Version Innocent Until Proved Guilty Great Alibis of the Twentieth Century *For Children* The Bournemouth Killings - A Frame-Up I-Spy The Police PUBLISHER'S FOREWORD We should like to take this opportunity of assuring you that there is absolutely no truth in the rumour that Dr Fegg has at any time been in jail. Dr Fegg's police record is spotless. He has, of course, had the usual parking offences, but these are *not criminal offences*; they are only *civil misdemeanours*. Dr Fegg has never done 'bird', nor was he in any way connected with the petty thefts and larcenies in Brighton three months ago, although the circumstances were admittedly rather against him; but HE WAS NOT CONVICTED! We want to emphasise that-- and don't forget: a man is entirely innocent until he is CONVICTED. And he's never even been *charged* with the Bournemouth killings, and anyway, they *were* a long time ago. We are proud to publish this book. There is no question of us doing it because we are 'running scared' or 'don't want to lose any authors in nasty accidents' or are afraid of getting our noses 'spread all over our faces'. Oh no, we at Methuen are committed to the book, to its author, and to his continuing struggle to prove his innocence. *Methuen London* WARNING This book features many of the less savoury aspects of human behaviour. But you have been warned. We believe that it is far better we should face reality, however horrible, than stick our heads, sand-like, into an ostrich. Thank you. APOLOGY We apologise for making such a mess of the metaphor above. It should, of course, read 'than head-first stick sand in an ostrich'. Thank you.