   REALPIRATES DON'T...

  Do a backwards job and give out a
 game that doesn't work.

  Copy anything with 1541 Backup.

  Buy books to learn how to hack.

  Put three thousand nicknames in the
 beginning of a program.

  Take credit for copying Jumpman.

  Eat three regular meals.

  Ever get eight hours of sleep, even
 on weekends.

  Call each other by their nicknames in
 public, private, or any other time,
 for that matter.

  Think a cartridge is unbreakable.

  Send booty lists on every single disk
 they ship out.

  Forget to test a program completely
 after they think it's broke.

  Don't use words like phuck, or try to
 be immature by putting such words in
 loaders and stuff.

  Don't use the 90 second format to
 format a disk.

  Put messages in programs like "Please
 copy this as much as you like."

  Worry about the FBI tapping their
 phone.

  Copy programs at work or in school.

  Know or care about structured
 programming. They actually avoid it
 like the plague.

  Tell someone they have something and
 then say otherwise.


   REALPIRATES DO...

  Live on nachos and coke.
  Reprogram games to make them
 "playable."

  Take apart computers and drives at a
 moments notice, because of the
 possibility that one of them might
 have a little problem.

  Dream of sailing the seven seas,
 looting passers-by, and maybe gutting
 a liberal or two.

NEVER get phone bills for prices higher
 than the cost of the computers that
 cause them.

  Try to jam six games on a disk, even
 by cutting out loaders.

  Use self-modifying code, especially
 in loaders, to make them take up one
 less block, run 20 nanoseconds
 faster, or to confuse other pirates
 who are trying to figure out what they
 did to break the game.

  Forget the day of the week, and
 sometimes the month.

  Know what "phreak" means.

  Stare their monitor for all hours of
 the night.

  Obtain copies of copy programs three
 weeks before they're released.

  Still complain about the time your
 average three minute copier takes to
 copy a disk.

  Detest compiliers, even though they
 still break games done with them.

  HATE someone that says they have a
 "decompiler."

  Play a game until they never want to
 see it again.

  Constantly run out of disks, no
 matter how many they buy.

    Have the kernal vector table
 memorized by heart.

  Laugh when they see a copy program
 for "archival use only."

  Forget the last time they spent money
 on a game.

  Wonder why Commodore can build a
 computer and then not be able to find
 a good way to protect games on it.
 (Though they hope they don't find out)

  Have reset switches, Fastload
 cartridge, memory switches, and other
 junk added to their computer at no 
 extra cost.

  Have access codes for bulleten boards
 that allows them to get past the
 trivial wimpy stuff and on to major
 software collections.

  Call each other on the phone and have
 normal conversations.

  Solve Infocom adventures without
 cheating.

  Have ten billion programs to
 reproduce errors on disks.

  Know what terms like Half-track,
 Imbedded Track, and Sync Characters
 mean.

  Realize that only a 13 year old 
 would be upset over some comments in a
 text file.hwello


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