101 THINGS TO DO WITH A DEAD AMIGA ================================== Brought to you by the Webbed Sphere ST [513]299-3665 *********************************************************************** ASCII conversion by Internal Malfunction, [705]'s ST source! 300/1200/2400, 24 hours a day [705]734-0349 Barrie, Ont. *********************************************************************** Modifications by Wild Dog of Simcoe County Atari Users Group. special thanks to Atari Master. [1] You can put an Amiga under a short leg on a table. [2] You can use an Amiga for a kitty litter box. [3] You can scrap an Amiga and use it as spare parts for a radio. [4] You can use an Amiga as a car stop when you park on a steep hill. [5] You can use an Amiga when your teacher hands you an F of your final exam. [6] You can use an Amiga to hammer nails. [7] You can tie 3 Amiga's together and use them as a jock strap. [8] You can use an Amiga as a locker shelf if you need more space. [9] When in fear of power surges you can plug in an Amiga first. [1O] You can tie 2 Amiga's together and use it as a leg brace. [11] If you get stuck in mud then you can use an Amiga as friction to get out. [12] Use an Amiga as a hood ornament. [13] When you do your homework, you can use an Amiga as a paper weight for a book. [14] You can have a contest on how many pieces you can make an Amiga into. [15] If you have muddy shoes you can scrape the mud off on them. [16] You can construct a raft out of Amiga's. [17] You can write important messages on the back of an Amiga. [18] You can grow fungus culture on an Amiga. [19] If making a geek BBS use an Amiga for the computer. [2O] Use an Amiga as a book end. [21] Amiga's can be used as a murder weapon of some sort. [22] You can use an Amiga as a goldfish bowl. [23] If you buy an Amiga you will learn a new phrase.. "Fucked Again.." [24] Instead of flushing your money down the toilet you can buy an Amiga. [25] You can raise bees in your Amiga. [26] Engrave an Amiga and use it as a headstone. [27] If your favorite T.V. show was cancelled you can throw it at a TV. [28] If you know how to read, you can use an Amiga as a bookmark. [29] Rent an Amiga as a roach motel. [3O] You can use the owner's manual to teach people how to read. [31] You can use an Amiga as a footstool. [32] You can use an Amiga as a scratchpost for your cat. [33] You can glue 1O Amigas together to use as a surfboard. [34] As a torture, you can make someone use an Amiga. [35] You can use 2 Amigas as a bookcover. [36] If out of wood, you can burn some Amigas. [37] You can set your beer down on an Amiga so as not to scuff your furniture. [38] You can see if a Ronco Vegi-Matic will destroy an Amiga. [39] You can convert Atari ST games to Amiga and watch them flop. [4O] You can see how much water it takes to short circuit an Amiga. [41] You can tie an Amiga to a stick and use it as a shovel. [42] You can drill a hole through the center of one and shit through it. [43] You can use an Amiga as a backboard for basketball. [44] You can take PCP and imagine you have a furry computer. [45] You can tie an Amiga to your foot and use it as a cleat. [46] You can use an Amiga as a hubcap. [47] You can use an Amiga as a wrecking ball on a crane. [48] You can test your new gun on an Amiga. [49] You can test out sizes of drill bits on an Amiga. [5O] You can throw Amigas at 14 year olds. [51] You can hollow an Amiga out and put secret messages in it. [52] You can get the neighborhood faggot to fuck an Amiga. [53] With enough of them you can build a chair. [54] If you really go for it you can build a table for your Apple with Amigas [55] You can use an Amiga as a door mat. [56] You can wipe your ass with an amiga. [57] You can use an Amiga as an ashtray. [58] You can give an Amiga to the needy. [59] You can use an Amiga as a whoopy-cushion. [6O] You can give an Amiga an AIDS virus. [61] You can use an Amiga as a pooper-scooper. [62] You can use Amigas in a similar way like Lego blocks. [63] You could use keys from its keyboard as buttons for your shirt. [64] You can fill an Amiga with birdseed and hang it in a tree. [65] If you like hard pillows you can use an Amiga as one. [66] You can build a black box with parts from your Amiga. [67] You can let a professinal wrestler sit on an Amiga and fart away. [68] You can throw Amigas at Prince if you go to one of his concerts. [69] You can wipe your Nose with an Amiga. [7O] When you go to church you can put one in the collection plate. [71] You can use an Amiga as a dart board. [72] You can buy an Amiga, grease it up, and use it a new sex toy. [73] You can buy an Amiga an return it in the same hour. [74] You can piss on an Amiga and then make a 14 year old lick it up. [75] If you have diarhea then you can collect the shit on an Amiga. [76] You can let your pet dog sleep on an Amiga. [77] You can count how many pieces an Amiga breaks into after you throw it. [78] You can sit on an Amiga when you go to a baseball game. [79] You can give this file to an Amiga owner and laugh in his face. [8O] Raise mushrooms in an Amiga. [81] If you get mugged show him your Amiga and he'll know you need the money. [82] You can feed an Amiga to Mikee. [83] Give it a funeral. [84] You can threaten someone by say)ng you'll tell everyone that he owns one. [85] Bronze it and place it on the mantel. [86] You can tell if people are stupid by if they own an Amiga. [87] If one of your cords are stripped then you can use the one from Amiga. [88] Frost an Amiga and enter it in a cake contest. [89] You can use 3 Amigas as a helmet for football. [9O] You can see how many Amigas you can destroy in an hour. [91] You can fart on an Amiga and see how long it takes for it to melt. [92] You can use an Amiga as a popcorn popper. [93] You can heat an Amiga and use it as an iron. [94] You can decorate the ceiling by putting parts of Amigas on it. [95] Take it for a walk on a leash. [96] You can use an Amiga as a mailbox. [97] You can put wheels on it and use it as a shopping cart. [98] You can keep your pipes in it. [99] You can keep loose change in it. [100] Use an Amiga for batting practice. and if you really want to get rid of it: [101] Try fixinig it yourself! (416)663-2432 (705)734-0349 -pass it on!