_ | \ | \ | | \ __ | |\ \ __ _____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________ | ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ | | | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | | | | /________/ | | / / /________/ | | | | | | / / | | | | | |/ / | | | | | | / | | | | | / | | | | |_/ | | | | | | | | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | | | |________________________________________________________________| | |____________________________________________________________________| ...presents... Bert: The Poem by Racer X >>> a cDc publication.......1990 <<< -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- ______________________________________________________________________________ This file is dedicated to the late Jim Henson, a man who always managed to entertain both children and adults. He was best known as the creator of the Muppets (R) and Sesame Street (R) and for giving life to such characters as Kermit the Frog (R), Rowlf (R), Waldorf (R), Dr. Teeth (R) and Ernie (R). Jim died on the morning of Wednesday, May 16, 1990 of a severe infection due to an overlooked case of pneumonia. Thanks for all the laughs, Jim.... --Racer X "It ain't easy bein' green." ______________________________________________________________________________ He creeps down the hallway Monobrow Head like pineapple Mind chock full o' vengeance Body of foam He lurks and lurks and lurks Dew forms 'tween his turtleneck and skin He clenches two fists of animosity He arrives at the door - a murderous courier and mutters to himself "This is it. I have to do it." With a slow sweep His foot pushes the door gently ajar The soft hallway light frolics across the face of his prey The delicate orange sponge covered only by a sheet Innocence The prowler contemplates and conceives a multitude of homicidal acts in his already damaged brain "How can I lynch this criminal? I could play butcher and then play doctor Heh Heh Heh I could just knife 'im a few hundred times Poison, nah... I'll choke him No Suffocation Asphyxiation I'll cut his damn head off Crucify him Crucify him for HIS sins Electrocution. Quick. Painless. Wait, I want the sucker to feel it. I could burn the son of a bitch Set his goddamned bed ablaze Make him suffer Suffer Colombian necktie I'll ring tears from his plastic eyes Never sorry before You'll be sorry now." The nightstalker freezes Orange eyelids expose unconscious eyes Blurr blurr Coned silhouette in doorway The sleeper asks, "Who is it? ' Somebody there?" A violent leap Yellow meets orange in a clash The life-burglar darts atop the sleeper pinning him to the warm bed Yellow foam hands squeeze into fists "Bert, what are you doing?! Are you crazy?!" The hammers are raised The killer reminisces his motives "This is for everything you've ever done to me!" POUND "This is for the time you filled our apartment up with water because you left the bath running!" STRIKE "Remember my purple hand? Here's one for that!" BEAT "Remember when you played tag with an involuntary me?! Now you're it!" WACK "You're it!" THWACK "And this one's for Rubber-Ducky!" SMACK "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Endless streak of death blows Pulverization Arms at work like piledrivers Drive drive drive Fists like anvils Sponge to styrofoam noodles Final blow "I'm sorry (sob). I had no idea (sob sob)." "It's too damn late for apologies." "Please (gasp) stop this. I'll never bother you again." Yellow digs deep into a polyester pocket Paper clips surface A wild chain of paper- clips "What? Your paper clip collection?" Like lightning The paper clips are yanked around the helpless puppet's neck Gasps for breath Choke choke choke The wire digs holes in the orange neck "I can't breathe." Convulsion Sudden peace The body ends its hopeless struggle The courier climbs down from the corpse and watches and watches and watches An open window The sounds of a restless city rush in with a flock of city birds "My pigeons, My beautiful pigeons. You hate him as much as I do. He's all yours." Peck Peck Peck Midnight snack An audible siren Slamming car doors Knock Knock Knock "Open up! It's the police!" The murderer h e s i t a t e s Pushes the window anxiously higher l o o k s d o w n and leaps wondering just how the sleeper always managed to be so innocent when always guilty --Racer X, 10:39 PM, Monday, 10/23/89 _ _ ____________________________________________________________________ /((___))\|The Dead Zone........214/522-5321|Demon Roach Undrgrnd..806/794-4362| [ x x ] |NIHILISM.............415/285-9453|The People Farm.......916/673-8412| \ / |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Bombay............714/897-0412| (' ') |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|The Works.............617/861-8976| (U) |====================================================================| .ooM |(c)1990 cDc communications by Racer X. 06/21/90-#139| \_______/|All Rights Pissed Away. |