±±±±±±Ü ±±Ü ±±±Üܱ±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±Ü ±±±Üܱ±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±Ûß±±Û ±±Û ±±Û±±Û±±Û ±±Ûßßßß ß±±Ûßß ±±Û ±±Û±±Û±±Û ±±Ûßßßß ±±Ûßßßß ±±±±±Ûß ±±Û ±±Û ßß±±Û ±±±±±Ü ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ßß±±Û ±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Ü ±±Ûß±±Ü ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Ûßßß ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Ûßßß ßßß±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±±±±±Ü ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±Û ±±±±±±Ü ±±±±±±Û ßß ßß ßß ßß ßß ßßßßßß ßß ßß ßß ßß ßßßßßß ßßßßßß --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- +---------------------------------+ debate! I think we are just lucky | EDITORS FILE | it was 'rounded' out with talk of | | Howard's birthday and a lively +---------------------------------+ discussion of Oyster eating! by John Dodson, Node ->CANTINA. If you are a regular RelayNet user Welcome to the fourth issue of The and have not listed yourself in the RIME Times. I wish to once again RIME Directory... do it! If you to thank those contributors for need the form to fill out, send a submitting some fine articles. message to Cindy Bartorillo, routed (Hopefully, if I keep saying this, to node id -> (hang on a sec... let the articles will keep coming in!) me look up that id in the directory If you enjoy the articles, please ... aha there it is.. hm her hus- take a few seconds to send the au- band Drew is the sysop and they thor a compliment! live in Frederick, MD... and ...oh yeah) BAUDLINE! Many of you have made suggestions on how to improve the newsletter... What is missing from the newslet- which is great! We have acted on a ter? You will notice some regular couple of suggestions and we are features missing from this issue. considering others. The newsletter Features like 'Who's Who in RIME', file name has been changed (as you 'Conference Spotlight' and Software know) from NEWSmmyy to RIMEmmyy. Reviews among others. At one time, We have unjustified the right mar- we were going try and include a GIF gin and hyphenated the newsletter of a member with every newsletter. to reduce gaps in the double column I keep using the word 'We' when format. Hopefully this will make actually the editorial staff the newsletter a little easier to consists of only me! We (I) need read. Look for more changes next help in creating, collecting, time. Please keep those cards and chasing and begging for articles. letters and suggestions coming! Be We need trained eyes to scan con- forewarned that I will hard sell ferences for newsworthy items. We the most vociferous critiques into need interviewers as well as being co-editors! ;-) interviewees! The newsletter is a great way for you to become It was an interesting month on the involved in RelayNet. There are net. We had sysops and net admin- many 'jobs' big and small that need istrators 'venting' their frustra- doing and our 'entire' editorial tion in COMMON, we had the great staff will welcome you with open debate on what percentage is proper arms! for a quote to message ratio, we had the controversial Missing Chil- Enough of this talk 'about' the dren's conference introduced and newsletter. Let's get on 'with' the controversial "is ANSI music the newsletter. I hope you enjoy really part of the ANSI standard" it and we'll see you on the net! Page 2 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- drive space, moved it from an XT to +---------------------------------+ an AT....no wonder it crashed..... | FOCUS: A RIME BBS | ;-) After a year of school at | | ASU, I left to open my own business +---------------------------------+ in San Diego and took the HST with by Jeff Woods, Conference Host of me (thankfully, I left the Perstor Telix, Communications & Entertain- behind). Our business computer ment. Super Regional HUBKC Node ran the BBS under Desqview. MUSICAL -> That's when I began to moved resi- dences every three or four months How did I ever get mixed up in a (why not?) and since the business crazy, mixed-up, fun bunch of folks was a mobile disk jockey service, like those on RIME? I ask that of it was re-christened "The Musical myself every day, and then answer: Chair". "Who cares? It's worth it!" I lost InterLink in the process of But the real answer is a bit more moving to California, and joined complex. I started calling BBS's the then -RelayNet - and haven't back in 1983 on a Hayes 300 baud looked back. From node to Hub to SmartModem, calling Greene Machines Super Regional and host of four in Peoria, Illinois. I liked it conferences, plus Tech Support for so much, I wrote my own BBS soft- one of the big three comm programs, ware on my TSR-80 Model 4, and ran and a board that has more than a it off of four floppy drives part 50% out of town caller ratio. Heck, time on my dorm phone. if I can do that, anyone can. ;-) When I transferred to Arizona State So who is the guy behind it all? University in 1986, I decided it I'm 24 years old as of March 25th, was time to progress. ASU ran a and I am currently working on a board for their Computing Services program to handle fantasy sports department, but the programmer in leagues stats in my spare time. I charge of running it never read or work for Home Office Reference Lab- answered the mail, never did file oratories in Lenexa, KS in the com- updates, never did anything. It's puter department. We do the blood the only board I know of that never and urine tests for about 80% of crashed when the sysop left the of- the insurance policies that require fice for the weekend. There was a tests. funny thread there (although who knew then that it was called a +---------------------------------+ thread?) about believing in the | CONFERENCE NEWS | sysop, since we never saw him, and | | that it was blasphemy not to be- +---------------------------------+ lieve in the sysop. So, I applied Posted by Skip Ross, Conference Co- to the guy to run the BBS for him. ordinator, Node ->ACC That's when it started crashing.... CoCo Conference (netnode #169) is Well, we had PCBoard 11.0 at the being Hosted by Nancy Ward Node ID time, and we just kept upgrading ->KEYBOARD and making things tough on our- selves. From 2400, I put my own FireArms Conference (netnode #105) HST on line there, added InterLink, is now Hosted by Neil Hoffman Node a Perstor controller, more hard ID ->GATEWAYS Page 3 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- DESCRIPTION: Iomega, manufacturers Unexplained Phenomena (netnode of the famous Bernoulli drives, and #179) is now Hosted by Bart also a tape backup system, will be Lidofsky Node ID ->RUNNINGB supplying direct manufacturers sup- port through this conference, for Current Events/Debate (netnode #3) all equipment manufactured by them. is now Hosted by Lee Parsons Node Hosted by the Sysop of Iomega's ID ->CAPECOD Support BBS. HOST: Jeffrey Williams EZ-Reader Conference (netnode #98) Node ID ->IOMEGA is now Co-Hosted by Dennis McCunney ACTIVITY: NEW Node ID ->RUNNINGB Musicians Conference (netnode #186) NAME: AT-DB is now Hosted by Ira Lichtenstein NUMBER: 196 Node ID ->SINGSING DESCRIPTION: Ashton Tate Direct Support of DATABASE RELATED prod- And the new conferences are: ucts including dBase II (CP/M), dBase II (DOS), dBase III, dBase NAME: Video Exchange III Plus, dBase III Lan, dBase IV, NUMBER: 192 dBase IV Lan, dBase IV Developer's DESCRIPTION: A conference for Edition, dBase Mac, RapidFile, and trading of video programs. others. HOST: Ken Pangborn Node ID HOST: TBD ->FATHER ACTIVITY: NEW (Estimated HIGH+) ACTIVITY: NEW NAME: AT-APPS NAME: Missing Children NUMBER: 198 NUMBER: 193 DESCRIPTION: Ashton Tate Direct DESCRIPTION: A conference dedi- Support of NON Database-Related cated to helping in the search for Products including MultiMate, Mul- missing children across the coun- tiMate Advantage II, Framework III, try. Chart-Master, Diagram-Master, Draw HOST: Gregg Synder Node ID Applause, Applause II, Map-Master, ->DIAMOND Sign-Master, Full Impact (Mac), ACTIVITY: NEW Full Write Professional (Mac), and others. NAME: IOMEGA HOST: TBD NUMBER: 194 ACTIVITY: NEW (Estimated HIGH+) +---------------------------------+ | BEGINNERS CORNER | | | +---------------------------------+ by Jim Daly, Node ->TREASURE DOWNLOADING FILES from a Bulletin Board System (BBS) NOTE: These instructions pertain to TELIX, QMODEM and SMARTCOM Users calling a PCBoard system. Other COMMunications programs and BBS systems will have similar protocols. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Page 4 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- One of the primary benefits of the nationwide BBS system is access to a VAST library of PUBLIC DOMAIN & USER SUPPORTED software...and all for just the price of a phone call!!! At first, the DOWNLOAD (D/L) process seems complicated and intimidating. In actual fact, most Communications programs completely automate the entire process and a D/L can be accomplished with just a few keystrokes. 1.> The first step in DOWNloading is determining which files or programs on a particular BBS are of interest to you. Almost all BBS's will group their programs in various directories according to category and/or func- tion... for example: 1. DOS UTILITIES 2. BUSINESS PROGRAMS 3. COMMUNICATIONS 4. SPREADSHEET TEMPLATES (123,SCalc-5,etc.) 5. FILE MAINTENANCE PROGRAMS 6. GAMES 7. NEW UPLOADS (Not checked by SYSOP!!) The PCBoard BBS Main Menu command to look at the available directories is "F". This single stroke command generally gives you a listing of all the available Download directories (usually by #). When you spot a DIRectory that may hold files of interest, select that specific number and ALL of the files in that DIRectory will be listed. NOTE: If you have logged on to a particular BBS before and remember the di- rectory number that holds the file(s) you want, just type "F x" (where x= the directory #) at the Main Menu and you by-pass the listing of all the directories and immediately see a listing of files in that specific DIRec- tory. 2.> When you locate a file that you wish to D/L, type "D" and the BBS will ask you for the name of the file you wish to D/L. At this prompt, type in the name of the file EXACTLY as it appeared on the listing including the extension - then hit . The BBS will search ALL of its directories for a file name (and extension) match. When the file is found, you will get a listing of information about file SIZE, number of transfer BLOCKS, and approxi- mate D/L time required. NOTE: If you do not have enough time left on the BBS to handle the entire file, the system will advise you and abort the transfer. (See why you should UPGRADE !!) On a "friendly" BBS, you will not be disconnected dur- ing a D/L if you run out of time during the actual file transfer due to slowdown in the transfer due to say, line noise. 3.> As soon as the FILE information is listed,the system checks to see if you have set a DEFAULT protocol (Zmodem, XModem, etc.) in your USER Config- uration. If you have, the system will ask if that is the one you wish to use for this File transfer and you may accept the protocol or change it at Page 5 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- this point. If you have your DEFAULT protocol set to (N)one, you must tell the system what you want to use. You will now get a prompt advising you that the BBS is...... "Ready to Send"..... ======================================================================= 4.> SMARTCOM: Hit the function key which will take you to the ======== SMARTCOM-MAIN Menu. QMODEM: Hit the PgDn key which will bring up the QM protocol Window. & TELIX: ======== 5.> SMARTCOM: Select 4. RECEIVE FILE. ======== a. Press 1 to select ERROR FREE protocol. b. When prompted "ENTER FILE NAME", type the name of the file to be received (it doesn't have to be the same as the name that you asked the BBS to send to you-in fact, if you just press without typing a file name, the system will assign the filename "TEMP". c. Press . QMODEM: a. Select the SAME protocol that you specified in the BBS!!! & TELIX : ====== b. Another Window will open and show you the "Default" PATH and the filename (example:C:\UPLOAD\PKARC.EXE) c. If the PATH is correct, press . If you want the new file to go to a different sub-directory or if you want to name it something else, change whatever part of the line shown as necessary, press necessary, then....... 6.> As the file is being SENT by the BBS and RECEIVED by your system, the status Box or Line will keep you advised of the FILE transfer process. 7.> When the D/L has been successfully completed the Status line will show "RECEIVE COMPLETE xxxxx bytes" and the system will BEEP you. NOTE: If there is interference on your phone (called "line noise"), the Status line will indicate this showing repeated attempts to send file BLOCKS. If the attempts exceed 7 in a particular Block, the transfer will be aborted (usually very evident during electrical storms). 8.> SMARTCOM: Press and you will be returned to the BBS Menu. Page 6 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ======== QMODEM: Press & TELIX ====== A D D I T I O N A L H I N T S & H E L P S ============================================== 1.> Where is the file I just Downloaded? QMODEM and TELIX Users will set the sub-DIRectory to receive new files when the program is Configured (\DOWNLOAD or \DL is easy to remember). HAYES-SMARTCOM Users will find the file in the Directory where your Communication program resides (probably C:\HAYES if you are running SMARTCOM II). 2.> How do I DOWNload to another DIRectory if I am using SMARTCOM? At the SMARTCOM Main Menu, select "3. Select File Command" and then "S" for "Set Path". Backspace over the default directory name and type in the name of the directory to which you want the D/L's to go. for example; C:\DL REMEMBER!!! When you re-boot your system, the D/L path will be set at the default directory.!!! NOTE: I prefer to use my C:\DL sub-directory. By doing so, I can then manipulate the new file anyway I want to without having to worry about damaging any of your Communication program files. Also, it is easier to un-ZIP files if you only have 1 or 2 to select from. 3.> I want my DOWNloads to go to a floppy drive.. Follow the same procedures as above, except set the path to A:\ REMEMBER!!! You must have a FORMATted disk in the A: drive and that the total Download cannot exceed the capacity of the diskette. (360K or 1.2MB on 5.25" and 720K or 1.4MB on the 3.50") Don't forget that if you already have files on the floppy, your available D/L space will be reduced. ( Run CHKDSK on A: to determine available space.) 4.> I know that I saw a file last week on the BBS that I can't find now. Where is it? SYSOPS periodically review the D/L activity on files and may delete the name from the DIRectory if there has been little or no interest. Or, there may have been an upgrade and the filename has been changed. Leave a message for the SYSOP and he'll advise you how to find the file. Page 7 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maybe it has been deleted and he can put it back on the system for your one-time Download. !! ENJOY - ASK QUESTIONS !! +---------------------------------+ | 'C' TUTOR | | | +---------------------------------+ by Doug Maclean, node ->RUNNINGB One of the most useful routines to have in your 'C' bag of tricks is one to copy files. Here is a simple routine that will be improved next month. The parameters are simple copyfile(char *source, char *destination, int overwrite, int touch) where source is the name of the file to copy destina- tion is the name of the destination file overwrite is a flag to determine if the destination file should be overwritten if it exists (0 = no, 1 = yes) and touch is a flag that if it is one the time and date stamp will be copied from the source file. #include #include #include #include #include #include #include #include #include #define BUFSIZE 20480 int copyfile(char *, char *,int,int); copyfile(srcfile,destfile,overwrite,touch) char *srcfile,*destfile; int overwrite,touch; /* flags */ int src,dest; char *buffer; int n; union REGS r; buffer = malloc(BUFSIZE); src = open(srcfile,O_RDONLY | O_BINARY); if((dest = open(destfile,O_CREAT | O_EXCL, S_IREAD | S_IWRITE )) == -1) /*if((dest = creat(destfile,S_IWRITE)) == -1)*/ { if(overwrite && (errno == EEXIST)) dest = open(destfile, O_TRUNC | O_WRONLY | O_BINARY,S_IREAD | S_IWRITE); else return(errno); } else Page 8 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- { close(dest); dest = open(destfile, O_WRONLY | O_BINARY,S_IREAD | S_IWRITE); } while((n = read(src,buffer,BUFSIZE)) != 0) if(write(dest,buffer,n) != n) { close(src); close(dest); free(buffer); return(1); } if(touch == 1) { r.h.ah = 0x57; r.h.al = 0; r.x.bx = src; intdos(&r,&r); r.h.ah = 0x57; r.h.al = 1; r.x.bx = dest; int86(0x21,&r,&r); } close(dest); close(src); free(buffer); return(0); Next month we will be improving this code to greater speed and add some more error checking. +---------------------------------+ are the chances of winning? How | PROTECTING YOUR IDEAS | much might you have to pay? For a | THE COPYRIGHT | product requiring so much start-up +---------------------------------+ expense, it is best to cover all by J. J. Spinelli, Esq. President, angles in advance. Get permission VITRON Management Consulting, Inc. and avoid risking time, money, or Steering Committee Member, Host of reputation due to adverse public- Legal Conference Node ->VMC ity. In last month's issue we discussed On the other hand, say you devel- the patent as a means of protecting oped American Incense. The success your ideas. In this issue, we'll of gimmick items often depends on examine the copyright. the novelty of their instructions. Should you try to copyright the di- Suppose you wanted to use the song, rections? How effective is the pro- "The Great Pretender," in develop- tection? ing and marketing The Great Pet Tender. Do you need permission from As with patents, a lawsuit is nec- the Platters or whoever currently essary to enforce your rights owns the copyright? Can you use a against an infringer. Unlike modified version without getting patents, copyrights are quick and permission? Can you be sued? What inexpensive to obtain. Copyrighting Page 9 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- something will discourage copying, would prevent others from copying so it is worth the minimal effort the DESCRIPTION, but nothing can it takes. It can be easily done keep them from describing the same without an attorney. No search is idea in their own words. Nor would necessary to determine whether the it prevent them from making, using, work is similar to existing copy- or selling the machine itself. Only righted material. a patent would accomplish that. Not everything can be copyrighted. Every work is automatically copy- The law protects "original works of righted when it is created, or put authorship" fixed in tangible form. into fixed form. However, to pre- Those especially relevant for new serve the right, all published product development include: copies must carry in an obvious place all of the following elements - Labels of a copyright notice: - Instruction manuals - Photographs - A copyright symbol "(C)" [the "C" - Computer software in a circle], the word "Copyright," - Books or the abbreviation "Copr." - Graphic designs - The year of first publication - Written promotional - The author's name or a recogniz- material able abbreviation - Sound recordings - Product summaries For example, the following would - Presentations constitute a valid copyright notice - Market analyses issued by VITRON Management Con- sulting, Inc.:(C) Copyright 1990, Names, familiar symbols, slogans, VITRON Management Consulting, Inc. short phrases, methods, systems, and some other types of subject The use of the "C" in a circle and matter cannot be copyrighted. Stan- the word "Copyright" are, of dard items such as calendars and course, redundant, but has, over rules with no original authorship the years, become the convention. are not copyrightable. The year, 1990, represents the "first year of publication." A copyright grants its owner the "VITRON Management Consulting, exclusive right to reproduce, re- Inc.," represents the "author's vise, distribute, display, or sell name." the material. Ideas are not pro- tected. Only the precise way in IF A WORK IS "PUBLISHED" WITHOUT which an idea is expressed can be ANY OF THESE ELEMENTS, THE copyrighted. Mere ownership of, COPYRIGHT PROTECTION IS USUALLY say, an original painting does not LOST FOREVER. The concept of publi- give one the right to copy it to cation does not require any formal make greeting cards for sale. The typesetting and printing. Rather, owner of the painting can sell it, it has to do with dissemination of but cannot reproduce the images in the work to other people. It is it without the copyright owner's best to use the copyright notice permission. from the outset so there will never be a question of whether a work was Likewise, a written description of published without it. a machine can be copyrighted. This Page 10 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Author's note: I have seen over though registration is normally not the years many shareware programs required for valid protection, it that fail to contain the copyright does give notice of the claim and notice. As such, the programs are, confers advantages in the pursuit for the most part, in public do- of infringement suits. main, i.e., the protection offered by the copyright is lost forever. In general, for works created after This means that any other person January 1, 1978, when a new law who happens to get a hold of the went into effect, the copyright software can put his/her name on lasts for the life of the author, it, and even copyright it without plus fifty years. The duration of any concern for the original devel- protection for other works depends oper. When this happens, the copy- on the date of their original copy- right owner now becomes the person right. These matters are explained or entity who has the exclusive in GENERAL INFORMATION CONCERNING right to reproduce, revise, dis- COPYRIGHTS, COPYRIGHT BASICS, and tribute, display, and sell the ma- DURATION OF COPYRIGHT, all avail- terial. If you develop software and able from the Copyright Office, Li- release it into the BBS community brary of Congress, Washington, D.C. and want to maintain your ownership 20559. over it, PUT A VALID COPYRIGHT NO- TICE ON IT. However, remember that There is no international copyright you CANNOT enforce your copyright protection, but the United States claims UNTIL and UNLESS you have is a member of the Universal Copy- obtained a registered copyright right Convention, which provides from the Register of Copyrights -- protection to nationals of member the Copyright Office. If you do not countries if certain formalities register your copyrights, don't are met. For details about foreign even bother to pursue legal claims protection, write the Copyright Of- against infringers because the fice and ask for CIRCULAR 38a. courts will disallow the claims from the outset, i.e., you will be Unlike a patent, a registered copy- unable to provide the courts with right is quick and easy to obtain. PROOF of copyright ownership. Of A registered copyright notice will course, that does not mean that you discourage others from copying. might not be counter-sued for in- Since it costs so little in time fringement yourself. KEEP GOOD, and money, it is wise to preserve CLEAR, CONCISE, DATED RECORDS! Mail your original works with a copy- those records to yourself via REG- right whenever possible. ISTERED MAIL to validate their dates and keep the envelope sealed. Next month we'll look at trademarks (The post office will not deliver - and service marks as means to pro- - or even handle -- as registered tect your original ideas. packages that are not properly sealed.] For a nominal fee, you can register the copyright with the Register of Copyrights. Different types of "writing" are treated somewhat dif- ferently and require the use of different application forms. Al- Page 11 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- +---------------------------------+ ground, only some hairy thing scal- | NEW YORK IN A DAY OR HOW TO | ing the building at about the 93rd | WALK WITH A LIMP | floor. But that just turned out | WITHOUT REALLY TRYING | to be Ed Koch. +---------------------------------+ by Jeff Woods, Node ->MUSICAL This is where the limp kicked in, so we took a cab to Central Park. Colin Sampaleanu and I ventured New York Cabbies are required to into New York City after Howard's attend the New York School of Of- party this past month. Neither of fensive Driving. This guy would us had ever been, and I wonder if have run down his own mother to we'll ever go back. I can't take beat another car to a lane (and he that much fun. First we parked did). But seeing as how neither the car, and I was reminded of the spoke English, no one was able to movie "Ferris Buehler's Day Off". call the cops. I was amazed at the size of Central Park. I was "Trust me, I'm a professional...." amazed that Donald Trump hasn't "Professional what?" bought it and named it Trump Park. It is a beautiful park, and the But, for $7.38 an hour, we figured residents there are pretty nice, as that at more than the value of the long as you don't let the change in car, who cared? We then discov- your pocket jingle. Never carry ered that parking was a mistake. more than one coin in New York..... Manhattan is a BIG place, folks. You'll be accosted to buy a cup of By the end of the day, I was physi- coffee for the entire city. cally limping from all the walking. I was wondering when some mugger In contrast, our next stop was a would figure I had a wad of dough bit different. After taking pic- in my shoe and corner me on the tures at Radio City Music Hall subway, but we got smart and (which has no radios, I found out - avoided the bad neighborhoods; we kind of stupid if you ask me), we spent the day trying to escape from ended up in Times Square, which Harlem. isn't really a square at all. Somebody must have been REALLY Escape did cross my mind later. stoned when naming these places. While trying to find the Empire From Times Square, we hopped the State Building (no easy feat, be- subway to the World Trade Center. lieve it or not - it likes to hide I was confused.... I thought we behind the others), we ended up in were going into this building that the middle of 120,000 Jewish people said "Subway" for lunch, but there in front of the UN protesting for were no sandwiches there. Oh, direct flights from Moscow to Is- well, it was too dirty in there to rael. I was protesting for direct eat anyway. The subway was even flights from New York to Israel. more of an experience than the cab. (Just kidding.) Well, we finally A gentleman sat next to me after found the Empire State, and went up the first stop, and seemed com- for a look around. Did you know pletely normal. He kind of looked that New Yorkers have their heads like Popeye's father. Then, all in the clouds? Literally? At of a sudden, he starts spouting off least at the Sears Tower, I got my something that sounds like the Rus- money's worth, and a whole lot sian National Anthem, which is more. We couldn't even see the weird because the Russian subway Page 12 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- system is clean and free of in the life cycle of coral. What weirdos. Colin and I were trying started as an innocent vacation very hard not to bust up, lest we pastime progressed rapidly into an get busted up, but we did laugh obsession with what Millard called ourselves silly after we got off, "the sheer binary capacity" of all to find that the World Trade Center those individual coral polyps. Evi- has defined zero visibility as be- dently some corals are composed of ing able to see only three miles. polyps each of which has eight ten- I must point out that the WTC is tacles. During the last phone call self-named, and Colin couldn't even I had from him he explained how he find a single person willing to had become convinced that each trade a Canadian five for an Ameri- polyp could "express" one byte of can dollar. World Trade Center in- information, and that the con- deed....... stantly changing and fantastically intricate patterns produced by the But the view was better than from whole coral as each polyp emerged the Empire State.... We could even from its shell and then retreated see the ground, and even the Statue back inside was actually a language of Liberty, which from the Trade of subtle complexity. "The only Center looks much like a Barbie living computers on the planet," he doll in monochrome. Our last stop said. After that rather agitated was going to be the Statue, but we early morning call about a month missed the last boat.... Seems so ago, I heard nothing until last has New York. How anyone could ac- week when Miriam called to tell me tually pay $1000 a month for a that he had suffered a breakdown small studio apartment to put up while scuba diving in a large coral with everything we saw....I'll reef. He has been admitted to a never know. It's worth much more private psychiatric hospital for than that. I enjoyed every single observation. Yesterday I received minute of it, and can't wait to get a letter from him that was written back. In truth, we never did get just before he was committed, but I into Harlem, but that's ok, the hesitate to publish its contents to Globetrotters are coming here next the world because of its rather month anyway, and I'll once again bizarre nature. Miriam is deeply be able to get a taste of New York. concerned about Millard and has And I won't have to limp to do it, rented a grass shack on Ohahu, she either. tries to keep her mind from dwelling on these recent events by +---------------------------------+ practicing Don Ho songs with her | THE MISADVENTURES OF | ukelele, but I'm afraid the strain | DRS. FUDNUT AND WILLSTIPPLE | on her has been tremendous. "It all | PART III | started with that goshdarn TELIX," +---------------------------------+ she confided last week. I could By Peter Longo, Node ->IDEALS tell from such unusually strong language that Miriam was close to (As told to the RIME Times by Dr. the edge herself. "Somehow the Fudnuts medical student intern.) fiends who programmed that evil software have infected poor Mil- Dr. Fudnut has suffered a nervous lard! And we were so cautious, our breakdown while vacationing in labs were rated at P4 containment Hawaii With Willstipple. It seems against the possibility that some that poor Millard became interested cunning virus lurked on the distri- Page 13 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- bution disks. Possibly the pages of was just before they left for vaca- the manual had been treated with a tion, but he did hint that she had slow acting contact poison, I just made a breakthrough when she dis- don't know..." Miriam also ex- covered that the cream not only pressed her regret that their book, worked as a symptom suppressor when SOFTWARE DEATHTRAPS: HOW SHAREWARE applied to the victim's skin, but IS KILLING AMERICA'S CHILDREN, actually had prophylactic proper- would not see the printing press ties when applied directly to the for a long time. "It's a shame," surface of the computer diskette she said, "America needs to know infected with PKZIP. Since that the horrible truth, but now, with time, a new, and I suspect much Millard not feeling well, I don't more virulent and resistant strain think we'll be able to finish the of PKZIP has appeared, so it's a book before the next upgrade of shame Miriam's research has been TELIX comes out." further delayed by Millard's break- down. Well, anyway, I wanted to update you about the doctors. As I say, I'll send Miriam everyone's best I'll have to check with Miriam wishes, when I speak to her. about publishing Millard's letter. I don't know if Bill has heard any- +---------------------------------+ thing, Miriam was pretty upset when | KIPS TIPS | we talked on the phone, and really | | just wanted to get back to the +---------------------------------+ ukelele solo in "Tiny Bubbles," so PCRelay Hints from the Author Kip I don't know if she has talked with Compton, node ->CONNECT him as well. If you have lost some of your ex- (Several days later our medical ported mail- run config.exe, place student had this update.) the bar by conference maintaince and keep pressing the Enter key un- I tried to get in touch with Miriam til you arrive at the screen that yesterday, but she was at the hos- says "Last Message Exported ----". pital visiting Millard. By the way, Enter the message number of the Millard is staying at a small pri- message you would like export to vately owned psychiatric rest home, start from, press ESC and when and anyone who wishes to send him a asked save your changes. get-well card should mail it to: But be careful - you may send du- Dr. Millard Fudnut plicates if you move your message Might-T-Fine Mental Mercy Seat number back too far!!! 101 Kokomoko Drive Honolulu, Hawaii +---------------------------------+ | NOTES FROM | I left a message on her answering | ADMIN | machine, and I expect to hear from +---------------------------------+ her soon. As for the infamous Netnode gets upgraded hardware: "PKZIT," Millard mentioned that 386-25 dedicated file server Miriam had been working on a topi- 3 - 386sx nodes cally applied cream that would re- Ethernet 16 bit LAN cards for the lieve the symptoms produced by the Lantastic OS. program. He didn't say much, this Page 14 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- APR RELAYNET INTERNATIONAL MESSAGE EXCHANGE NEWSLETTER 1990 --------------------------------------------------------------------------- HUB Sysop reaction for the most Stay tuned to see if Bonnie will part has been "WOW". return from her vacation in time to salvage the network from the grasp +---------------------------------+ of Scott, or will SmartNet acquire | AS SEEN ON THE BIT STREAM | 300 Nodes overnight? Can we survive | | another day without 35 messages +---------------------------------+ from Rick Fry and Patrick Lee? Can TAGLINE OF THE MONTH: we survive another day without the "What happens when Kip Compton dis- daily dose of Fry's wit and Lee's covers girls?" knowledge? Only time will tell. :) (As seen on a post from Jeff Woods. Submitted by several RIME users) +---------------------------------+ | NOTICES | BORING THREAD OF THE MONTH: | | "Kid Dying" +---------------------------------+ (Which seems to find it's way into The RIME Times is published monthly COMMON about every two months) by the membership of RelayNet In- ternational Message Exchange as its THE THREAD THAT LOST CONTROL: official newsletter. Users and "Search for Red October" Sysops are encouraged to con- (About the film "Hunt for Red tribute. Submissions and questions October") may be directed to the editor John Dodson, node ->CANTINA. MALFUNCTION OF THE MONTH: ProComm's (probably the most widely (c)Copyright 1990, The RelayNet used communications program) ten- International Message Exchange. dency to lock up when it encounters Permission is hereby granted for "ANSI" music control codes. Pro- unlimited distribution and Comm users reading the ANSI duplication, provided such conference must re-boot their distribution and duplication are machines after encountering the strictly for non-commercial music codes. purposes only. All other rights reserved. RelayNet and RIME are ANONYMOUS CAPTURE OF THE MONTH: registered trademarks. (Found shortly after Bonnie A. left on vacation) Welcome to the world of the Re- layNet where things are not as they seem. A world where telecommunica- tions take place. In this world, strange things happen. Configura- tion files mysteriously disappear, messages replicate at will and mu- sic that would wake the dead is used to raise the living. In this world users try to fight off the evil BBS monster that keeps lurking through every system. Will we survive or will the BBS monster win out in the end.