	LINUX WARS:  A NEW KERNEL  
		episode iv, chapter 2.

	creative consultant: Empty
	technical consultant: Ohseven/shicho-do
	writer and all around god: WindRider

**recap of the previous installment**
	fuck that, go read wr-lwars.txt in rmrs19, you lazy sack of
	shit.

		***

	Dawn rose over the dry desert town that Omi Skywalker called
home.  Drifting slowly back from his dream, he rolled over in bed to
find himself tenderly stroking B0ar3P0.  "What the @#$@?!  What are 
you doing in here?  A was having such a great dream about the 
princess."
	"Well, master Skywalker, you ARE a master of my system...if 
you know what my poorly compiled and humble self is attempting to imply
oh so vaguely." B0ar3P0 sighed suggestively.
	"That's it, if you're gonna talk like a WinBitch (tm), then i'm
gonna beat you like a WinBitch (tm)."  Omi was clearly not impressed.

	"Might I suggest, sir" B0ar3P0 interrupted, "that we hurry to 
your landspeeder and track down G0at2D2 before he gets himself in real
trouble."
	"You mean my new Range Rover?  Okay, let's find the little 
bastard before old Whod gets his hands on him.  There are rumours that 
he...does things...to unsuspecting bots."
	"That would indeed be unfortunate.  I still have not finished 
punishing him.  But that's another story."

		***
<<CUT SCENE>>
	Instead of me describing it, go grab a MatchBox toy car and 
roll it back and forth along the front of the keyboard, yelling "VROOM 
VROOM!" loud enough so that the neighbours hear you and call the cops.
<<END CUTSCENE>>
		***

	Princess Kaleia found herself onboard of Darth Balmer's 
flagship, the 'TouchMeI'mFeelingSexy'.  Balmer came forward to inspect
his prisoner.
	"Very nice, but there will be time for that later.  WHERE is 
the rebel base?"
	"I'LL NEVER TELL YOU!" Kaleia screamed at Balmer and the 
StoonTroopers. "Torture me as you wish, but i will never divulge the 
location of the secret rebel base."
	"I can respect that." Darth Balmer chuckled.  He turned to the 
StoonTroopers.  "Bring me 3 hours of motivational speeches by our 
esteemed Emperor Gates!"
	"The base is on Dantooine." Kaleia quickly stated.
	"Dantooine?  I know not this place."
	"Monkey-ass, perhaps you better know it as San Jose" she spat.
	"Excellent.  Bridge, set a course for San Jose."
	"Yes sir" came the call from the bridge. "we just have to make 
a quick stop at a Chevron to gas up, and so that Lloyd can take a 
whiz."
	"DAMMIT!" Darth bellowed.  " I TOLD Lloyd not to get that 
slurpee at the Galactic MiniMall."



and so ends this section of the story.  Kinda short, but that's what 
happens when you accidentally erase a file.  So i patched this together
fairly quick.  a final product should arrive on your shelves in the 
next 4-8 years.


					ciao.
					WindRider (quad-p/remorse)

**********************************************************************

CAST OF CHARACTERS: (many to be seen in future chapters)

Omi Skywalker
Empty Solo
Poly Fett
Emperor Gates
Darth Balmer
Chewie Protagawookie
Princess Kaleia
G0at2D2
B0ar3P0
Bugsy the Hut
y0whirrda
CainCor the Pit Monster
Dyone Calrissian
The Millennium Falc4nn
Admiral Necromango
Mon Reno
Obiwh0d Kenobi
Bib Oneduna
StoonTroopers
Grand Moff Seven
Tzeenwoks

SAUCE00Linux Wars: A New Kernel - Vol. 2  WindRider           REMORSE             19980129
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