29672 Bytes Greetings from "German Milk Marketing Board" Hamburg /* ---------- "The Complete Guide to Cows -- Novem" ---------- */ --==>> THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS <<==-- as you've NEVER seen them before! ________________________ (__) / \ * OFFICIAL EDITION * (oo) ( November 1989 Version! ) /-------\/ --'\________________________/ * WORLDWIDE DISTRIBUTION * / | || * ||----|| Edited by Eric W. Tilenius Please send your submissions to: Cow ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU // ewtileni@pucc.BITNET - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (__) (__) (__) (__) (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ / | || / | || / | || / | || * ||----|| * ||W---|| * ||w---|| * ||V---|| Cow Cow laden Same cow Nancy Reagan-type with milk after milking cow with milk (___) (___) * (___) (___) (o o) (o o) \ (o o) (o o) /-------\ / /-------\ / \-------\ / /-------\ / / | ||O / | ||O | ||O / | #>-+|O * ||,---|| * ||@\--|| ||,---|| * ||,----| Bull Same bull after Rotc bull after Red-blooded American Bull seeing above cow seeing other bull shooting the Rotc bull (__) (__) (__) (__) (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) /-------\/-* /-------\/ /-------\/ / | || \ )*)(\/* / * / | || * ||----|| * \ |||/)|/()( \/|(/)(/\/(,,/ \)|(/\/|)(/\ Cow munching Grass munching Cow in water Cow in trouble on grass on cow (__) (__) * (__) * (__) (oo) (oo) \ (oo) | (oo) /--------\/ /-oooooo-\/ \-------\/ \-------\/ * o| || * ooooooooo o o| || / || ||----|| ooooooooooooo ||----||>==/-----|| ooo ooooooooooooooooo Cow taking Cow in deep Cow getting the shit a shit shit kicked out of her (__) (oo) U /-------\/ /---V / | || * |--| . * ||----|| Cow at 1 meter. Cow at 100 meters. Cow at 10,000 meters. (__) )__( vv vv (oo) (oo) ||----|| * /-------\/ *-------\/ || | / / | || / | || /\-------/ * ||----|| / ||----|| (oo) vv vv () American Cow Polish Cow Australian Cow (__) (__) (__) (oo) ____ (oo) _---_(oo) /-------\/ /- --\/ /- -\/ / | || / | || /| || * ||----|| * ||___-|| * ||___-|| Freshman Cow at Freshman Cow Freshman Cow start of school After the "Freshman 15" After the "Freshman 20" (__) (__) (__) (OO) (@@) (xx) /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ / | || / | || / | || * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| Cow who drank Jolt Cow who ate Cow who used Jolt to wash psychadelic mushrooms down psychadelic mushrooms /\ __ / \ || (__) (__) \ / (_||_) SooS (oo) \/ (oo) /------S\/S /-------\/ /S /-------\/ / | || / | || / S / | || * ||----|| * ||----||___/ S * ||----|| This cow belonged Ben Franklin owned Abe Lincoln's to George Washington this cow cow (__) * (__) (oo) \ (oo) /------\/ \-------\/ /| |/ | | ==$ || / | [) || ||----|| * ||----|| Old "One Arm" belonged This cow was given to to Ceasar's Palace Hugh Hefner for his Birthday (___) (__) (__) ( O ) (oo) (oo) /-------\ / \/--------\/ / | ||V | | * ||----|| ||------|| The cyclops that Jason and This cow lived with the Argonauts met had this cow Dr. Doolittle (__) (__) [##] (@o) /-------\/ /-------\/ /------- (__) / | || / | || / | || (oo) * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|---\/ This cow belonged This cow lived with This cow belonged to to Flash Gordon the Little Rascals the Headless Horseman (____) (____) (____) (oo ) (o o) ( O O) /-----------\ / /-----\ /---- /-----------\ / / || | \/ / | | \/ | / || | \/ / || |||| \ | | | | | / || |||| * ||||-----|||| *| | |-----| | | * ||||-----|||| /\/\ /\/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ This cow belonged This was Salvatore No one was sure whether to Pablo Picasso Dali's favorite cow M.C. Escher's cow had four legs or eight O__O \_|_/ (oo) (oo) /-------\/ /-------\/ / | || / | || * ||----|| * ||----|| Cow at Disneyland Cow visiting the Statue of Liberty (__) (__) (oo) (--) /-------\/ /-\/-\ / | || /| |\ * ||----|| | | ============ | | / /----\ / \ \ * Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale (What a bod, huh guys?) )\ (__) / \ (oo) Cow swimming at Amityville (Where Jaws was filmed, for those less educated) * (__) \ (DD) \ /-------\/ |\ / | ||_\_/ \ | \ (__) * ||----| \\|| \(oo) \||\ \\/ Cow chugging brews and staring at \|| sunbathers at Fort Lauderdale \\ || \\|| \|| / / / / / / / / / / / \\_ / / / / / / / / / / / / \_ / / / / / _______ / / Cow skiing a Black Diamond at Aspen / / / / | \ / / / / / (__)| / / / / / (oo)| / / ( @@@ ) /-------\/ | ( @@ ) (------------) / | ||_| @@ (__) ( *>COUGH<* ) * ||----| @@ (oo) . . . ( *>COUGH<* ) /--UU--\/ (____________) / | || Cow sheltering from English Weather * ||---|| (New) Jersey Cow O O O O \ \ / / \ \ (__) / (__) \ \ (xx)/ (DD) \ +--------+\// /-------\/ \| | / / | || +--------+ * ||----|| Cow fantasizing about "Riding the Mechanical Bull" at Gillies in Texas o o |__| (__) (__) (oo) (oo) =(oo)= oo /-------\/ /-------vv /-------\/ / | || / | || / | || * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| bill bixby bela lugosi boris karloff claude rains male relative cow cow cow cow x xxxx|xxxx xxxxxxx|xxxxxxx | // (__) // (__) (__) (oo)// (oo)===(oo) /-------\// /-------\/ \/-------\ / | |// / | || || | \ * ||----| * ||----|| ||----|| * Julie Andrews Cow Siamese cows o o (__) \ / (oo) / \ / _____\/___/ (__) \__/ / /\ / / (oo) _______(oo) / * / /---------\/ /| ___ \/ / ___/ / | x=a(b)|| / | { }|| *----/\ * ||------|| * ||{___}|| / \ ||-----|| / / Mathematical Television This cow does Disco Cow Cow (That's what comes of (developer of (Cow-thode snorting cow-caine) cow-culus) Ray Tube) o | [---] | | | | |------========| /----|---|\ | **** |=======| /___/___\___\ o | **** |=======| | | ___| |==============| | | ___ {(__)} |==============| \-----------/ []( )={(oo)} |==============| \ \ / / /---===--{ \/ } | ----------------- / | NASA |==== | | | * ||------||----- ----------------- || | | / / \ \ | / ---- \ This cow jumped over the Moon (__) ([][]) "I have this recurring dream __\/_--U about golden arches.".. (__) /\ \__ :..("") /\\\ / / //\ ____\_____\/ // /----/__/\ /\ // \\/ \___ / // \\\____/--\-- // /-/__________/ // /====== \/ =======/==============// *_/ / \ / // / \\ / \ // \\ Psycowlogist and patient (___) \\ (__) (o o) \\\ (oo) \ / *-----\_______\/\/ \--O--/ _______/ --- \______ // -----\ --------\ \S/ /\_____ \\/_{} /==V===[] \______/ \_____\\// \__/ It's a bird... //\\ The Boss It's a plane... // \\ (Bruce Holstien) // // ================== _____________________________ H H | |-------------| H (__) H | | ________ | H (oo) H __ | COWNTY | | (|__|) | | H / \/ \ H / \ | JAIL | | |oo| | | H | | | | H | STOP | | | |__|\/|__| | H D===b=----- H \ __ / | | o | HH || | | | H H || | | ] | H H || | | | H H || |_____________|_____________| H H || Some cows get in trouble... Cattle Guard ( ( ) ( ( ) ) ( ( ) ( / ) ( ( \\ ) ( | // ) | | (__) | | (oo) (__) | | ----\/ ______(oo)_____ | | || ( _)_______(__) ) **| | ---|| \ __________/ ``'--------- Cow Hide Cow Pie \ | / ___________ ____________ \ \_# / | ___ | _________ | | \ #/ | | | | | = = = = | | | | | | \\# | |`v'| | | | | | \# // | --- ___ | | | || | | | | | | | #_// | | | | | | | | \\ #_/_______ | | | | | | || | | | | | | | \\# /_____/ \ | --- | | | | | \# |+ ++| | | || | | | || | | | | \# |+ ++| | | || | | | || | | | () |#| H |_ || | |||| | || | | ( ||| ) | # | | |||| | | | ||||||| | ________/ /_____ | | |||| | | | ||||||| | `v'- | ||||||| | || |`. (__) (__) ( ) (oo) (oo) /---V /-------\/ \/ --------\ * | | / | || ||_______| \ * ||W---|| || || * "Cow Town" \ (__) (__) \\(oo) (\/) /-----\\\/ /-------\/ / | (##) / | || * ||----||" * ||----|| This cow plays bagpipes. Cow from Beijing (__) (__) (__) (\/) ($$) (**) /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ / | 666 || / |=====|| / | || * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| Satanic cow This cow is a Yuppie Cow in love (__) (__) (oo) (oo) /-'''''-\/ /-------------------\/ / |'''''|| / | || * ||''''|| * ||----------------|| Cow in Argyle Stretch Cow * ** ** * ** * * * ** * / / \ * * \ \ / \ / / (__) * / / \ \ (__) \ \ /--------(00) / (00) / / / | |( ) \ /-------\/ \ \ * ||---- ||() / / | || / / || || \ \ * ||----|| \ \ / / / / Cow Chewing Marbles Cow in Heat (___) (o o) /------\ / (__) (__) / ____O (oo) (oo) | / /----\----\/ /-------\/ /\oo===| / || / | || | || *||-----|| * OO----OO * Cowt in the Act low rider cow (__) \__\ (__) (oo) o (oo) (oo) /-------\/ ____\___\/ *+-------\/ / | || / | || ||______|| * ||----|| * ||----|| ||----|| OO OO OO OO OO OO Detroit cow Mustang cow pickup cow (__) (__) \_||_ (oo) (oo) (*||*) /---------------\/ /----\/ /-------\||/ / | || / || / | || * ||------------|| *-||----|| * ||----|| OO OO OO OO OO }{ li-moo-cow fastback cow teenager's cow ____ (____) .xxxx. (__) '(oo)` (oo) /-----'-\/ ` /-------\/ / | |============> / | || * ||----| () * ||----|| Moo-ammar Cowdafi holy cow armed and dangerous (___) (___) (o o) (o o) /-------\ / /-------\ / / | ||O / | O ||O * ||,---|| * ||,---|| A Bull A-bomb-in-a-bull No-bull (---) ( ) /-----\ (___) | | (o o) | | | (-----) \ / | | | / / \ O | * | * | O | ----- Coward Phone Bull __________________________ }__{ / Send YOUR cow pictures to \ (00) ( ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU ) :****** \/ ==='\___________________________/' : # ## ##****## "" "" | | | | * | | (__) | | \ (__) | | (oo) | | \ (oo) | | /-------\/ | | -----------\/-- | | / | || | | ----| |--- | | * ||----|| | | -------- | \_____________ | \_________________ | _________________ | _________________ | / | / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | / \ / \ Cow perched on a tree. Cow attempting to fly off tree. | | | | | | | | | | | \_________________ | _________________ | / | | | | | | | | | | | | (__) | | *---------(..) / \ ----\/ Cow that has failed miserably in the attempt. . /\ . . : (__) . / \ . . : (xx) / \ . . * : __------\/ / \ * : * ||____|| | (__) | . . ** : / | |\ . /| (oo) |\ ** : / | /\/\ | \ . . * : Hamburger . / |=|==|=| \ . * : . / | | | | \ . : / USA | || |NASA \ . : * (__) |______| |______| . : \ (oo) . (__||__) . . : \-------\/ . /_\ /_\ . . . : 8-| || !!! !!! : ||----|| : The cow that jumped over the moon. : Flying Cow ...---... ../ / | \ \.. ./ / / | \ \ \. / / / | \ \ \ / / / | \ \ \ \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | /(__) \|/ (oo) /---++--\/ / | || || * ||-++-|| Cow surviving attack by Red Baron ..---.. (__) / \ (oo) | RIP | /-------\/ | | / | || | | * ||----|| | | | | \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////////// Elvis's Cow... ...Or is it alive and living in tax exile??? (__) (oo) /---+ +--\/ / | | | || * ||-+ +-|| * David Copperfield's Cow David Copperfield's other Cow (__) (oo) /-------\/ / | || * ||----|| (__) (__) (oo) (oo) /-------\/ \/-------\ / | || -- || | \ * ||---- -- || * (__) (__) (oo) (oo) /-------\/ \/-------\ / | || || | \ * ||----|| ||----|| * Barnum's Troupe of performing cows (__) _--------_ (oo) |__________| BIG /-------\/ XXXXXXXXXX MAC / | 007 || __________ * ||----|| |_ _| -------- Cow licenced to kill Enemy Cow after having met previous cow (__) (oo) /'-m (__) / '' ` ) (oo) o /| /|/|_ | /| / \/ / / _ / | | | | / _\=== ___\_____/___ |_____|_| ___|__/ |/\ (___________(_) //|| || * * ww ww Mrs. O'Leary's Cow Cow'nt Dracula ____ ____ |+++++| |++++| ___ |++++| ____ |+++++| |++++| |++ ______________________ |++++| |+++++| |++++| |++/ /( )\ \ |++++| |+++++| __ | | |+| |-oo- | \______ |++++| |+++++| |++| -----(__)--| \__\/ _(__)_ \ ---------------------------------- o ( oo /_______________________| (oo) \ | __ | _/\_| | M O O - B U S T E R S|__\/\ /| | /oo| - Bleaurgh! |-| \\____ ------ )_ /| /\ -|_ \_|-_| 0 _| * \/ * \ | __________________________________/ | W| \ \_/ /----------------- \ \_/ / / /\ \ \___/ \___/ / / \ \ Who you gonna call...? (__) (__) (__) (----------) (00) (-o) (--) . . . ( *>YAWN<* ) /------\/ /------\/ /------\/ (----------) /| || /| || /| || * ||----|| * ||----|| * ||----|| Cow w/ Glasses Flirtatious cow (winking) Cow after pulling an all-nighter * (__) (__) (__) (__) \ (oo) (oo) (oo) (oo) \-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /-------\/ /| |\ / / \ / \ / / \ \ //||----||\\ * //------\\ * \\--// * \\----\\ Cow walking Cow jogging Same cow Cow breaking (__) (oo) (__) o * (__) \/ (oo)/ " | (oo) ____| \____ /-------\/(__ o=o=o=|------\/ ---/ --** / | / | | *____/ |___// * ||----|| ||----|| //--------/ //__ Cow Cow pooing Cow marching standing Side Front Side back (___) Where's all the bulls! (__) (__) (__) (__) (O O)/ ( oo (oo) oo ) ( ) _/\ /\_ /\_| /\/\ |_/\ / \ \\/ O \// ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (___) ( OO \_ | - Got some cows that aren't in here? Add yours to the official \O collection! Send them to: ewtileni@pucc.Princeton.EDU (___) ( -- \_ | - G'nite, and thank you for your support. Zzz z z z z z z z \O Thanks to EVERYONE who contributed COWS! PLEASE DISTRIBUTE THIS FILE WIDELY -- IT IS *NOT* COPYRIGHTED. (Besides, this is a classic that NO ONE should miss!)