_______________________________________________ | | | .. Happy Holidays .. | | | | The latest file from: | | | | ___ /\ /\ | | \ / \ /\ / \ | | \ / \ / \ / \___ | | \/ \/ | | | | The [S]tatic [S]yndicate | | | | Written By: The Ninja | | | | Now residing at these great boards: | | | | The Kepone Factory - 2400 .... [609] 799-5148 | | The Dead Zone BBS - 1200 .... [609] 443-4762 | |_______________________________________________| Hello there .. so nice to see all of you again. Has it been that long since the last file? Who the fuck really cares? Anyway - with the holiday season now in full swing I figured I'd better pump out a file on what you ignorant little shits should do in the shopping malls, on the streets, and of course - in school! I know you've read all the other neat-o files out there, but only a select few have the right idea. It is from these files, along with my own ideas, that I will present you with the latest in HOLIDAY PHUN .. so kick back and open a brew while you read this, and in case I forget .. Happy Holidays .. ============================================================ From: How To Kill Santa Claus Dead! By : The >Outland> / Kneon Knights/Metal Communications BBS : Milliways 10 Meg BBS/AE (609)/921-1994 ============================================================ >Outland> had some really nice ideas in this file. What you see below are the highlights of the file - or what I feel his best ideas were .. "Tie a piano wire across two telephone poles and slit the fat shit's throat when he sails through." "Fire a fat seeking missle at his sleigh and blow the fucker up in mid air." "Sacrifice his reindeer." "Have him arrested for breaking and entering..." As you can see, >Outland> is really not too fond of the Big Red One - Santa Claus. Remember to call his board! Aside from Santa Claus there are plenty of other fun if not anarchaic things to do in the winter time. Remember that old old old file "Anarchy In The Snow" by this one and very same Ninja? Lord, I hope not. I had some good ideas - but just could not get them across in a text file .. The best thing to do from that file is the "Bloody Arm In the Street Snow" or "Funnelating Ice Balls" Check this BBS/AE for the file "Anarchy In The Snow" Any half decent place should have it. If not you can call The Kepone Factory and get it. Now that Winter 1986/87 is upon us it is time for us "new age" anarchists to come up with some new age ideas to just generally piss people off in the cold weather. If you like being immature you could always fill up a few water ballons and throw them at people when it is VERY cold out. Watch how quickly ice forms on skin! Ever see those good-for-nothing bums who are always trying to scrounge money off of you by washing your winshields in the city? Well - who the hell wants water on thier windshield in sub zero weather? Get out the spray bottle and your old clothes - time to freeze some windows. Think of all the hairy accidents you can cause. Accidents? Did someone say accidents? Well, remember the famed "Mormon File"? I hope so .. go and try my ideas on that in the snow and boy are you in for a blast! Let's move inside now .. even anarchists get cold after a while! Shopping malls - full of the hustle and bustle of people buying this and that. The holiday spirit is in the air. Fuck that! Who needs that shit. Go and terrorize all the Mall Santas you can find. Antagonize and threaten them from a distance. Do it real close. Watch all the little boys and girls cry when they find out that Santa is really Mr. Smith the mailman - Fuck a few stores over. Switch the pricetags on everything. But DON'T YOU buy them because then that's shoplifting .. wait till Mom sees what a bargain LAZER TAG really is at $9.99. Just watch and hold in your laughter as she takes Johnny's Xmas present to the counter - and the cashier calls the manager - who calls security .. heh heh .. Bring a $10 bill to a Salvation Army Santa and ask if you can have change. Enough! Get out of the mall you mall rat! School - ah well, vacation is over and it's school time again .. shit .. extend your vacation another day. Call the school and make a bomb threat. If they do not close the school, then go and start a rumor that you heard there was a bomb threat and theydid not believe it. All of those "will-be" lawyers in your school will crawl out of the woodwork and cry to the administration that they are endangering our lives. As a matter of fact - do not even call the school, just call your local police station first and tell them about the bomb. If you live in a hick town like most of us they will shit in thier pants and close the whole town. Turn over and go to sleep .. Eventually they will stop buying that after you have done it 10 days in a row. So now it is mid-January and you've got to go to school. Let them know of your discontent with having to take time out of YOUR busy schedule to go to THIER school - .. go crazy! .. Ah well - I'm too fucking tired to finish this .. read and enjoy .. Don't forget to call these [S]tatic [S]yndicate boards: =+=---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---===---=+= | | | The Kepone Factory 2400 ............ [609] 799-5148 | | The Dead Zone BBS 1200 ............ [609] 443-476