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			  How to steal video movies
			     by The Great Crumal
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  Anyone who has been to the local video store knows that video movies are too
expensive for most of us to buy.  Sure, the prices have come down but who wants
to pay fifty bucks to watch a movie?  In the past ten years I have observed the
home-video industry, and have learned many of the ways video movies are stolen.
Here, for your education are the techniques.

  First, the video pirate will choose an easy prey.  The easiest around is the
Wherehouse.  They are very crowded and have too little help.  This makes
creating a diversion very simple.

  We will first talk about the simplest piracey techniques, then move to the
most complex.  The simplest is to rent the film you want then dub (duplicate)
the film onto black video tape.  This of course requires that you have a second
VCR.  The dub you make will also be of lower quality, but this is the safest.

  Another technique is to make a dub and then carefully open both cassettes and
trade the tapes.  The dub will be in the comercial casing and the original will
be in your casing.  (You end up with the better copy.) sometimes you can't do
this because the video store will put an anti-tamper sticker on the side.  (If
you open the cassette it rips and you're busted.) But the Wherehouse is too
stupid to do this.

  On to the more complex.  If you rent a movie at the Wherehouse you can keep
it.  In a month you will get a phone call asking where it is.  You should get
all flustered and tell them that you returned it.  They will of course say that
their computer still shows it out.  Now you go down to the store and talk to the
manager.  Get him when he's busy.  Tell him that it's not your fault if he's got
idiots working for him.  They must not have checked it in when you returned it.
He will give in and mark it missing.  They will then stop hassling you and you
won't have to pay for it.

  The most difficult and most daring is to go into the store and find a receipt
that someone has dropped.  You look up what movies they checked out and you go
get them.  You also need one of their bags.  You put the movies and the blue
receipt into the bag and walk out.  If anyone says anything show them the
receipt.  If you really have balls you get any movie you want and don't care if
the receipt you have says "in" or "out" just flash the paper on the way out.

  Again the key is to do any of these techniques when the store is jammed.  Yes,
there will be few films on the shelves but you will also be lost in the crowd.
Invisable to the employees.

			  Another file written while hung over.

			  Crumal
			  (Interdimensionally)
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