From Sell Yourself to Science by Jim Hogshire published by Loompanics press: Brain Dead But Still Body Alive If you are unfortunate enough to have a relative who is being kept alive mechanically, you will also be unfortunate enough to hear some of the "metaphoric" descriptions of how the person appears to be alive, but is not. Among those I have seen are: To describe a corpse on a ventilator: "It's true your daughter's heart is beating and she's warm, but that doesn't mean that she is still in her body. The body is like a house. And the heart is like a furnace. A furnace can still be on, even when no one is at home any longer." Worse imagery comes up if the body still possesses some reflex motions. Here are a couple of gems I've run across: "You know how your muscles twitch as you relax and go to sleep. What you saw is a reflex motion. It's the body's way of relaxing into death." Or: "It's like when someone dives off a diving board. The board continues to move after they've left it and are in the air. Jimmy is no longer in his body." Or my favorite: "If you've ever taken Carol swinging, you know how swings still move after children have jumped out of them. Carol's body is like an empty swing." When they [the body snatchers] start talking like this you know they're serious. How to Deal One of the best things to do is simply give permission, obtain promises that you won't be billed for organ removal and that the body won't be mutilated and go home. Having a loved one die suddenly (as is often the case) is traumatic in the extreme. The thought of trying to make money off it should be sickening. On the other hand, people do buy cemetery plots before death and try to get a good deal. They just do it while they're still healthy. Once again, the time to think about organ vending is prior to death, not when you're grief-stricken. If you don't make plans for this kind of hard-nosed wheeling and dealing now, I urge you to forget it. Do not try to hammer out business deals over dead relatives in such an extreme situation. In this case, please donate or don't donate and be done with it. You've got far more important things to occupy your thoughts and emotions than money. That having been said, let's look at a strategy for dealing. The first thing you should try for is forgiveness of any outstanding hospital bills. The procurer may be in a good position to arrange this. Not only is this the easiest way to "buy" organs, since no money changes hands and any "losses" incurred by the hospital are smaller than whatever you owe them, this is highly possible. Besides, it may only be that you owe the hospital a few thousand or even a few hundred dollars. This method has the added benefit of letting you avoid the pain later on when the bill comes. It's amazing, but for all their soppy death metaphors and "we understand what you're going through"s the hospital will be very stubborn about letting you off the hook for any amount of money. You've got to be just as stubborn. I would suggest that you make it clear that they can have all the organs they want, IF THEY WILL JUST LET YOU GO HOME AND NOT BOTHER YOU ANYMORE. Don't say anything about money directly. Tell them, yes, yes, you can have little Carol's heart, corneas, whatever--just don't compound the pain by billing me for anything. Stress that you don't want to be billed for ANYTHING. You just want to go home and begin grieving with your family and not have to think about this any longer. If the conversation is taking place on the phone, tape record it. If it's in person, personalize it. Look straight into the procurer's eyes and make a deal. Call him or her by name, make it clear that you understand that you will not be responsible for ANY costs concerning little Carol's empty swing. Not the ambulance ride, not the failed operation, not the complimentary drink they offered you. Present it as a matter of grief. You don't want to be bothered with this any more. You couldn't bear to go to the mailbox one day and see a staggering bill for Carol's empty swing. Suddenly you would be forced to think of her death and worse...her parting out. This is a reasonable request. After all, the hospital is about to make perhaps half a million bucks off your loved one--all you want is not to have to pay for a failed operation, not to have to deal with this loss over a period of months while you struggle to pay off the debt. If it is at all possible, get some kind of promise in writing, even if it's something scribbled on a napkin. Get the person's name. If they've made a deal with you, this will serve to prove it later. Even though the deal is illegal, the person may realize the best thing to do is comply rather than risk job loss/prosecution for "buying" organs from a hysterical relative who was clearly under duress. Depending on who has died, your sense of humor and the kind of relationship you had with the dead person, you might want to see if you can do better. Keep in mind that it is illegal to pay people for their organs. But go ahead and try. Maybe you can visualize little Carol up in heaven laughing as her mom or dad jacks the body snatchers around? In this case, you've got to get the money or whatever you want right then and there and then leave the hospital. Do not accept checks. Your bargaining position disappears the minute you sign the consent forms (or the minute you alienate the procurers so much with your callous avarice that they say "fuck it" to little Carol's corneas). Look around for something. Maybe that kindly nurse with her non- threatening body language is sporting a pair of diamond earrings. Maybe Father O'Flagherty is wearing a Rolex. How much cash can they scare up in the next hour or so? In the next twenty minutes? This is a harsh, harsh method of making money and you really should only do it if you have prepared yourself ahead of time. Just know that you can do it. Organs are literally worth millions of dollars, but only for a short period of time. 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