Mindless Mayhem....... Dubbed by request from the author.... -=- Revision Date: 07-02-91 -=- Big Wheels o' Fun! By Mr. Beeg 05/17/91 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In this day and age, I am overwhelmed by TONS of text files that let you make blow up this, short-out that, etc. As far as I can tell, most of these files are full of shit. The ones that are feesable require that you have an engineering degree or an unlimited budget and great connections for chemicals. I am tired of reading this crap, so I am releasing USABLE information for pissing people off and destroying property. SIDE NOTE - I am a chemist by trade. When you come across a text file involving chemicals, take it with a grain of salt. Many of the formulas are inaccurate, and most are simply wrong. Too many of the chemicals are not quite as easy to get as you may think. Many of the household substitutes simply aren't correct. Use care, and don't be too optimistic! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK! Now on to the fun... Sure we all know that little kids are stupid as fuck. We were all once stupid as fuck ourselves, right? Well, for some reason, parents of little kids can be equally stupid. Here's a way to take advantage of all that stupidity and have a BLAST doing it... Before kids are old enough to have bikes, they usually have tricyles or (even better) Big Wheels. Remember the Big Wheel? It is that all-plastic 3-wheel low-rider with the big front wheel. Getting to the point, kids ALWAYS leave these things out at night. Parents are dumb enough to let them. So, all you have to do is walk (or drive) through a residential area and look for a Big Wheel. Snag it, then it's time for fun. You'll need a junky long-sleeve shirt, junky sweatpants or jeans, newspaper, heavy fishing line (50 lb. test is nice, but 20# or 30# is fine), a heavy glove, and packing tape (preferably clear). Stuff the pants and shirt with newspaper. Tape the shirt to the waist of the pants. Wad up a ball of newspaper about the size of your head, and wrap it in tape. Tape this onto the neck of the shirt. Yes, you now have a dummy. For a better effect, place a baseball hat on it. Make sure the stuffing doesn't look TOO half-assed. It isn't too hard to make a very human-looking figure. Now grab the dummy and Big Wheel. Tape the 'feet' to the pedals, and the 'hands' to the handlebars. Getting the idea yet? Now take the fishing line and tie one end to the Big Wheel, preferably under the handlebars. Now comes the good part. Go back to the residential area (at night is best) and find a car parked out in the street. Place the Big Wheel/Dummy combo in front of the car, pointing out into the middle of the street. Make sure any traffic can't see it. Run the fishing line across the street and hide. Now, PUT THE GLOVE ON. If you don't, you will hurt your fingers. Trust me. Wait patiently for a car to come from the 'blind side'. When the moving car is almost up to the back of the parked car, pull hard! The moving car will slam the fuck out of it! The driver may have a heart attack. When he/she realizes what really happened, he/she will spazz like crazy! This is a fucking blast! (Big Wheel) (parked car) -------------------------------л---------------------------------------- | ллллл (moving car) | <---- ллллл == == == == == == == == |== == == == == == == == == == | | -------------------------------|---------------------------------------- | |  (you) Of course, this works on busier, faster streets too. Just be careful because you don't really want to KILL the driver, right? Another variation is to blow off the fishing line, and glue the handlebars into the 'straight ahead' position. Go to the top of a hill and push it down into oncoming traffic. You could light it on fire, but a car can see this a mile away and probably won't hit it. Speaking of hills, have I mentioned how much fun rolling old tires or stolen bowling balls into traffic is? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK! That's about it... Have fun and don't get caught! Destiny Knights BBS 7o8љ3o7љ3768 The NUP is FOURTH DIMENSION Make sure (if ya call) to give the names of other boards yer on! -----EOF