-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
  YOU PLUMMETT TO YOUR DEATH AS YOU ENTER THE DOOR MARKED NO ADMITTANCE BUT YOU
FIND YOURSELF IN A SMALL ROOM CLUSTERED WITH STRANGE APPARATUS.....  THERE IS A
GROUP OF FOUL LOOKING CREATURES PLACED ABOUT THE ROOM TOWARD THE FRONT OF THE
ROOM IS A MAN IN DARK ROBES AND A DUSTY NOTEBOOK.  HE INSTRUCT YOU TO SIT DOWN
AND YOU OBEY.

  IN THE MIST OF CONFUSION YOU FIND THAT YOU HAVE ENTERED THE DR.  MAD CHEMISTRY
CLASS

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-=-=->	 WELCOME TO THE DR. MAD  <-=-=
-=-=->	    CHEMISTRY CLASS	 <-=-=
-=-=-> EACH WEEK I WILL POST NEW <-=-=
-=-=-> FORMULAS AND INSTRUCTIONS <-=-=
-=-=-> ON TERRORIST DEVICES AND  <-=-=
-=-=->	      EXPLOSIVES	 <-=-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-=-=->	FORMATTED FOR 80 COLUMNS <-=-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-=-=->	    THE AUTHOR TAKES	 <-=-=
-=-=->	      ABSOLUTELY NO	 <-=-=
-=-=->	RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE	 <-=-=
-=-=->	 USE OF THIS MATERIAL	 <-=-=
-=-=->	 IT IS ALL CONSIDERED	 <-=-=
-=-=->	 EXTREMELY DANGEROUS	 <-=-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-=-=-> READ ALL DIRECTIONS BEFORE<-=-=
-=-=->		STARTING	 <-=-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


MATERIALS: CALCIUM CARBIDE, A TIN COKE CAN, RUBBER CEMENT, WATER, MEDIUM SIZED
TEST TUBE THAT WILL FIT COMFORTABLY WITHIN THE TIN CAN, A CORK WIDER THAN THE M
OUTHPIECE OF THE TIN CAN AND A KNIFE

LOCATION OF CONSTUCTION: OUTDOORS

  SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS:	DON'T LET ANY HUMIDITY OF WATER CONTACT THE CALCIUM
CARBIDE


THIS WEEK WE'LL START WITH AN UPGRADED VERSION OF THE CARBIDE BOMB

WELL A CARBIDE BOMB CONSISTS OF A BASIC CHEMICALL REACTION BETWEEN CALCIUM CARB
IDE AND H2O. WELL FIRST GO TO ANY HARDWARE STORE AND BUY CALCIUM CARVIDE. THEY
SHOULD HAVE IT BECAUSE CARBIDE CAMPING LAMPS USE THE STUFF. THE STUFF SHOULD LO
OK LIKE SMALL PIECES OF GRAVEL. NOW YOU GO AND FIND SOME KIND TIN CAN AS IN A U
SED COKECAN... WELL DRINK THE COKE (BURP).... NOW PUT IN THE CALCIUM CARBIDE SO
 IT FILLS ABOUT 1/4 OF THE CAN... NOW GET A TEST TUBE. FILL THE TEST TUBE (MEDI
UM SIZE) FULL OF WATER. NOW PLACE THE TUBE INSIDE THE CAN THROUGH THE MOUTHPIEC
E. NOW YOU ARE FACED WITH AN OPEN MOUTH PIECE.. WELL MOST PEOPLE CAN'T FIND A P
ROPHANE TORCH TO MELT A PIECE OF METAL ON THE OPENING... SOO... WHAT YOU CAN DO
 IS TAKE A CORK LARGER THAN THE OPENING OF THE MOUTHPIECE. NOE TAKE A KNIFE AND
 ETCH IN A RING ABOUT 1/4 - 1/2 INCHES ABOVE THE SMALL END OF THE CORK. NOW CAR
FULLY WEDGE IN THE CORK (IT MAY TAKE A WHILE) INTO THE MOUTHPIECE. AFTER IT SLI
PS INTO THE WEDGE IN RING. LET IT SIT FOR A DAY SO IT SOMEWHAT RETRNS TO A BLOA
TED CORK.. OR TAKE A FEW( I EMPHASIZE FEW) DROPS OF WATER AND PLACE TEM ON HE C
ORK.. IF ANY WATER GETS IN YOU WILL HAVE GREAT DIFFICULTY SEEING, WRITINMG, WAL
KING... THINGS LIE THAT. NOW TAKE RUBBER CEMENT AND PLACE IT AROUND THE CRACKS
BETWEEN THE CORK AND THE TIN CAN. LET THE GRENADE SETTLE TILL THE GLUE DRIES. N
OW YOUR READY TO GO... GET YOUR LITTLE SISTER OR ANYONE YOU HATE AND SA COME HE
RE LETS PLAY CATCH.. WELL THROUGH THE CAN MAKE SURE IT HITS THE GROUND NEXT TO
THE TARGET  VERY HARD.. SO THE TEST TUBE BREAKS.. NOW HOT GASES FORM ... PRESSU
RE BUILDS AND ( OHH NOO!)
			  BOOM!



FIG. 1
TOP VIEW OF THE CAN

 ---------------
-		-
-	!-----!------- PLACE CORK IN OPENING
-	!-----! -      PUT GLUE AROUND CRACKS
-		-
 ---------------

FIG.2
CORK WEDGE


----------
\ ______ /
 \	/-------  WEDGE IT WITH A KNIFE RIGHT HERE
  ------

FIG. 3

COKE CAN GRENADE OVER VIEW
       _
      \ /---- CORK
-----------
!     _   !
!    ( )  !
!    ( )------ TEST TUBE WITH WATER
!    ( )  !
!****( )**------ CALCIUM CARBIDE
!*********!
-----------


THE PREVIOUS VERSION OF THIS SYTEM DIDN'T WORK AS WELL AS THIS. IT'S UP TO YOU
TO JUDGE FOR YOURSELF.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-=-=->	WELL THAT'S THIS WEEKS  <=-=-=
-=-=->	   CHEMISTRY CLASS	<=-=-=
-=-=->	  DO YOUR HOMEWORK	<=-=-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

NOW WE'LL WARP YOU BACK TO THE MATERIALISTIC WORLD OF NIHILISTIC VALUES...
---------------------------------------
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